Effectiveness of Communication between the Partners - Assignment Example

Running head: Interview and newsletter Student name: Student ID: Supervisor: Institution: Date: 27th April, 2013 Interview on communication Parent 1 What is your understanding of communication? Communication is transmission of ideas through verbal and non-verbal means from one person to another. It is the sharing of ideas, feelings, messages and attitudes which results to more understanding between the sender and receiver. Which is the best way to support communication between parents? The best way to support communication is to do things together during common free time like after work or over the weekend. This will include switching off the media sources in order to have quiet time with no interruption and praying together. How do you handle the sources of disagreements between spouses? The best way to handle disagreements in marriage is to seek for a marital counselor. The counselor must also be God fearing and with a good reputation in the society. Ways of improving communication Communication between parents can be improved through treating each other with love, kindness and respect. Both should be there for each other and always listen to each other when one is saying something irrespective of whether what he/she is saying is unpleasant to you. What is your view on effect of inter-cultural marriages to communication? Intercultural marriages can bring about conflicts due to differences in terms of linguistics, beliefs and norm of different people. Parent 2 What is your understanding of communication? Communication is more of non-verbal than verbal connection of ideas. Whatever you say is not important but the manner in which you say is what matters or what can cause problems in marriage. Which is the best way to support communication between parents? The best way to cement a relationship between the parents is to go for a date away from home. This can be a day out which helps remind the couple of days when they were dating before marriage. How do you handle common sources of disagreements between spouses? Disagreements in the family between the couple should only be solved though dialogue. It is always good to find a suitable time, talk about the problem and come up with a solution. Ways of improving communication Communication between spouses can be improved through avoiding judging each other, avoid arguments and always looking for the best time to communicate i.e. when the other party is not engaged and is in a good environment to listen. What is your view on the effect of inter-cultural marriages to communication Conflicts between partners will always be there without necessarily the cultural differences. Parents, however, as much they love or respect each other and come from the same culture, the important thing is to solve your differences as partners not two people from different cultures. Newsletter Introduction Communication is the cornerstone of every relationship, the main way to enact family relationships and have a family identity (Fitzpatrick & Koerner, 1997). Communication between parents is usually the main focus since it affects the children and the rest of the family in important ways. It also assists the children to grow upright and also enhance their problem solving skills. Over the past two decades, the family structure has really changed and the ability of the parents to survive these changes shows a high level of flexibility (Fitzpatrick & Koerner, 1997). There are so many problems that come up when there is ineffective communication between parents and at the same time many problems can also be solved when there is effective communication between the parents (Jolin, 2007). Communication can be very complex than what people believe and can also be very challenging (Wiley, 2007). According to Wiley (2007), communication involves connecting by sharing information or resources, seeking support or comfort, forming alliances, conveying emotions or effecting some change in their environment. The connection that is established via communication does not have to be purposeful as long as one party understands some meaning from the other. Communication is fundamental to human interaction and family relationships. Wiley (2007) further states that effective communication is an important element as far as building strong relationships is concerned and that it is more of emotional connection than just use of words. Main body The first question was about the interviewees’ understanding of communication in a family set up. The first parent viewed communication as transmission and sharing of ideas and feelings while the second one thinks that communication consists of verbal and non-verbal. The respondent further elaborated that the non-verbal is more pronounced than the verbal communication (Fitzpatrick & Koerner, 1997). The second parent considers that conveyance of messages through non-verbal communication is stronger compared to verbal communication. I believe that this is true since in some instances, people might speak but the non-verbal messages convey different meanings. The non-verbal messages are always genuine. The two parents had slightly different views concerning the best way to support communication between them. The first one thought that the best way to support communication was to have some quiet time together in the house while the second parent thought the best way to support communication was to take a day out away from the home (Jolin, 2007). In both responses, having some time for themselves was a common answer with the difference being the environment where the first one thought talking at home was fine and the other one thought having a date away from the home environment. My view is that settling on a place away from home could be more convenient especially for a couple with smaller children who might cause interruption and it also takes away the monotony of always being at home. The respondents had different views on how they think disagreements should be handled. The first interviewee/respondent thought that the best way to handle a disagreement will be seek help from a counselor. In addition, the counselor should be a religious person and one with a good reputation in the society. The second respondent on the other hand thought that the best way to handle disagreements between parents was through dialogue where both would find solutions to their disagreements without involving any third party1. I tend to agree with the second respondent in this particular issue in that the couple is the only party who knows the particular problem and therefore should be able to find solutions without involving third parties. Involving third parties will only lead to more problems and embarrassment. Wiley (2007) argues that, when disagreements come, both parties should face each other and try to come up with a solution but one thing they should never do is avoiding the issue. The two respondents gave different ways to improve communication in the family. The first respondent gave the following ways: treating each other with love, kindness and respect; listening to each other. The other one said: avoiding judging each other; avoid arguments and always looking for the best time to communicate i.e. when the other party is not engaged and is in a good environment to listen (Barnett & Rivers, 1996). There other ways of improving communication of parents in addition to what was given by the interviews. These include but are not limited to: use of ‘I’ statements to show a sense of ownership or responsibility (Wesley, 1990); one can also improve communication by labeling emotions such being angry, frustrated, happy; expressing the negative emotions in a healthy way, avoiding blowing. It is also good to share feelings and this will help your partner to understand you better. The last part of the interview involved asking the interviewees their views on effect of intercultural marriages to communication. The first parent said that intercultural marriage can be a barrier to effective communication due to differences in linguistics, beliefs and norms. The second parent on the other hand, said that differences in culture between the partners cannot necessarily cause ineffective communication (Duncan, 1995). According to Duncan (1995), conflicts in families or among married couples will always be there regardless of whether both belong to the same or different culture. Therefore I agree with the second parent that conflicts and disagreements are among the factors that bring about communication problems in families and not cultural differences. Moreover, partners are joined together by love but not similar cultures. Conclusion The quality of any marriage is determined by the effectiveness of communication between the partners (Gottman, 1994). Gottman (1994) further argues that the secret to strengthening the bond between partners is learning and practicing good communication skills. This will help them to resolve problems and conflicts facing them or which might arise in their relationship. Communication in couples also goes beyond simple exchange of information and messages to emotional connection (Wiley, 2007). According to Wiley (2007), couples should be educated to know that communication in marriage in not a matter of choice or personal preference but it is a skill which needs to be developed. One needs to know the amount of communication he/she needs and also the amount his/her partner needs (Jolin, 2007). This includes when you feel that you are satisfied since the partner might not. Communication is the only for conflict resolution and sharing of feelings. The more time spent in communication between spouses, the more they enjoy being together. It is advisable to always communicate with your spouse and be sure what the other is feeling. References Barnett, R.C. and Rivers, C. (1996). She works/he works: How two-income families are happier, healthier, and better-off. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Duncan, S. (1995). Communication in couple relationships. The Family times newsletter, Montana State University Extension Service, Summer Issue, 1-6. Family & consumer sciences. Marriage Enrichment: Communication in Marriage. Retrieved from http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/FCS466-2.pdf. Accessed 27/04/2013. Fitzpatrick, M.A. and Koerner, A.F. (1997). Family communication schemata: Effects on children’s resiliency. In H. McCubbin (Ed.), Promoting resiliency in families and children at risk: Interdisciplinary perspectives (pp. 1-24). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Gottman, J. (1994). Why marriages succeed or fail. New York: Simon and Schuster. Jolin, K. (2007, August). 6 ways to encourage communication between your spouse and yourself, (Yahoo network contributor). Retrieved from http://voices.yahoo.com/6-ways-encourage-communication-between-spouse-500031.html.Accessed 27/04/2013 Wesley B.R. (1990). Beyond I-statements in family communication: Family relations, 39,266-273. Wiley, A.R.  (2007). Connecting as a couple: Communication skills for healthy relationships.  The Forum for Family and Consumer Issues, 12 (1). Read More