My Experience in Moving to Los Angeles from Palestine - Essay Example

 Life can be a challenging journey. One of the greatest challenges is dealing with embarrassment. Embarrassment is one of the fundamental aspects of the human experience in that no matter who you are at some point you will experience this emotion. While the sensation surely varies for different people, it can generally be understood as an acute anxiety and discomfort. The feeling occurs in situations where unexpected events place an individual in this situation of anxiety. I have experienced embarrassment many times throughout my life. Even having experienced embarrassment in a number of settings the pervasive nature of the condition is such that in many instances it is simply unavoidable. When I consider my most embarrassing moment, I recognize it occurred during one of the most vulnerable periods of my life – directly after I moved to Los Angeles from Palestine. The experience of moving from Palestine was a tremendous leap. While the cultural divide between the United States and Palestine is drastic, attempting the further transition into the Los Angeles concrete jungle was terrifying. Before moving to Los Angeles my only perceptions of the city were from popular televisions and films. I came to become enamored with romantic notions of movie stars, Beverly Hills, and Rodeo Drive.After moving to California I realized that my previously held conceptions were largely naïve; I struggled to make sense of the word around me. While I am not typically a nervous person, I increasingly found myself experiencing anxiety and unrest with my surroundings. It was in this context of understanding that I experienced my most embarrassing moment. During the first few weeks living in Los Angeles I explored many parts of the city. Walking through Los Feliz in Hollywood one afternoon I was approached by a man, later revealed to be a photographer, who asked for a moment of my time.“You have a very beautiful personality and image,” he said. Taken aback I am walked away, but he quickly interjected, “I would love to have you model!” I was perplexed, as I had never envisioned myself as the model type, and after-all he had just met me, how would he even have an inkling of my personality. Still, I secretly found his invitation flattering and was intrigued at where the opportunity could lead. The following weekend I arrived at his studio. Still new to the city, entering into this unfamiliar situation compounded my generalized anxiety. I knew nothing about modeling and this soon became abundantly clear. As I walked into the studio the photographer was there. “Hi” I sheepishly said. He seemed preoccupied and instructed me to go with his assistants to an adjacent room. Everyone at the studio moved confident and efficiently, as if this was industry standard. As I walked into the adjacent room I was surrounded by a group of people who measured my size and then hold up a dress. I could feel the eyes of the other people in the room starring intently at me waiting. Slowly I felt a thrust of blood shoot throughout my face, as I nervously tightened my hands into fists as if it might stabilize my embarrassment. They were going to undress me. I wasn’t sure if I should leave or submit to the process. I knew that I felt such an acute embarrassment at not being aware of this part of the photography session that I nearly passed out. Was I being violated? Did this happen to all models? Whether it was the pressure of the social situation or simply a naïve trust, I turned around and let them remove my clothing and fit me with the new dress. Once I had the new dress on the embarrassment exited my face and knees and I quickly regained my composure. As I walked back into the studio, the photographer and camera crew were there waiting. “Beautiful,” he said upon seeing me. He took a series of photographs and then they ushered me back into the changing room. Again the assistants unclothed me and helped me place on the next outfit. The embarrassment was not as acute as the first time, but I still felt a general level of anxiety. I finished the photo-shoot out as such and went home. I was naïve at the time and felt a strong sense of embarrassment at the incident. When I look back on the experience I recognize that my fears were unfounded and that the process I went through was simply the traditional process for people working in this industry. Still, this doesn’t change the strong embarrassment I felt at being both physically unclothed and void of my Palestinian culture and heritage. Ultimately, while this was a challenging experience, for me it has also come to represent mine coming-of-age in Los Angeles. Letter There were a number of factors I considered when writing this essay. The decision to choose this specific moment was not a difficult one. This experience is highly unique in my life as it occurred during a period when I was new to Los Angeles and felt a heightened sense of vulnerability and anxiety. I believe that while embarrassing moments can occur in any situation, they can also be compounded by the individual’s particular life situation. In these regards, the anxiety that I had been experiencing at this stage of my life, having just moved from Palestine, functioned as the core foundation on which this specific experience greatly compounded. It follows that for me this experience wasn’t simply one of embarrassment, but also a coming-of-age moment in terms of my new life in Los Angeles. The centrality of this experience to this formative period in my life greatly contributed to me choosing it for my embarrassing moment. I believed that in using a moment that was richly textured as such, it would enhance the narrative qualities of the essay. While I had the original experience in my mind, I then went about writing an outline for the essay. Once I established an outline I went through and began writing from the beginning of the story. One of the important considerations in this process was how I would divide the paragraphs. I wanted to make sure I had a strong introduction and ending to the essay. The next main thing I considered in terms of the paragraphs was ensuring that each paragraph had a significant topic idea. Furthermore, as the nature of the essay was a narrative experience, I wanted to ensure that it had an element of suspense. I attempted to accomplish this through leaving the reader at the end of the paragraph want to continue onto the next paragraph to further understand the story. For instance, one paragraph ends with me the experience of being undressed. Still, the reader must continue to the next paragraph to furtherunderstand my experience. During theconstruction of the paragraphs I did not actively try and incorporate any of the ten necessary grammar elements, nor did I consider any literary elements such as metaphor or symbolism. As the narrative began to develop I recognized that I naturally used most of the ten necessary grammatical elements and that an underlining metaphor was emerging. As I reached the essay’s ending I wanted to develop a conclusion that considered the themes of the essay and also satisfactorily ended the narrative. In constructing the ending I came to recognize that the nature of me being undressed at the studio and the acute embarrassment I felt also functioned as a broader metaphor on my experience in moving to Los Angeles from Palestine and the cultural undressing I experienced in this acculturation process. The process of writing the essay then revealed elements of my own personal development. Ultimately, while this essay displays my most embarrassing moment, it also provides a unique window into my soul. Read More