How to Maintain Long Distance Relationship - Admission/Application Essay Example

How to Maintain Long Distance Relationship Introduction A long distance relationship, also referred to as long distance romantic relationship, is a situation in which two partners are intimately in a related, but are geographically apart or are living in different regions. The effect of this geographical separation is limited face to face communication between two partners who are in the relationship. Long distance communication is very common among college students (Griffin & Bone, 2012). These account for about 45 percent of all the long distance intimate relationships (Bell & Brauer- Bell, 2012). Despite the fact that various scholars have studied relationship among college students, the long distance relationship still remain under researched. This study explores how communication influences relationship satisfaction among the people who are in this form of relationship. Relationships and Communication There are a lot of factors which are known to play a vital role to the success of a relationship. These apply to both geographical close relationships and the long distance relationships. There are also numerous variables that affect satisfaction in long distance romantic relationships. Communication among couples who are in a long distance relationship has been identified by various scholars as a very important variable that affects the affairs (Bell & Brauer- Bell, 2012). Communication in this case can be through face to face communication or through other platforms such as the internet and instant messaging platforms. Considering the fact that face to face communication is limited in long distance relationships, the other modes of communication play a very imperative part in ensuring that there is satisfaction in the relationship. Communication does not only affect satisfaction, but also impacts on the comfort levels of the parties in a relationship, as well as on their sense of solidarity. Research has been done on how the frequency of communication among partners in long distance relationship affects their perception of intimacy and on the success of the relationship. However, not much has been done to help understand how the frequency of communication affects the satisfaction with that particular relationship. Communication Difficulties Due to the distance that separate two people who are in a long distance relationship, communication problems appear to be among the most common problems that tend to impact negatively on the relationship. Clover (2003) says that communication does not only allow the partners in a relationship to increase their intimacy but also ensures that they trust each other more. Moreover, it is through communication that couples who are in both long distance and geographically close relationships sort out the problems that face the relationship. In the geographically close relationships face to face contact allows the partners to be in touch most of the time (Canary & Danton, 2003). This is something that those who are in a long distance relationship do not enjoy. As such they are bound to experience some problems due to conversational difficulties. There are a lot of research works that have been done to help analyze communication or conversational difficulties experienced by partners who are in a long distance relationship. Majority of such research works and studies are carried out on basis of surveys and interviews that are intended to dig deeper into these problems. However, Canary & Danton (2003) says that there is need to carry out more research on the real conversational issues that affect those who are in long distance relationships and the noncopresence ones. Majority of the studies that are carried to help understand conversational problems have been done by collecting communication data among commuter wives and husbands and their partners (Butler, 2004).One of the common trends that have emerged shows discourse in these relationships because of the distance that separate the partners (Canary & Danton, 2003). Relationship Satisfaction Indicators According to Guldner (2003) while it is very vital to understand the commitment of couples in a long distance relationship, studying the indicators of relationship satisfaction is also necessary. Individuals who are satisfied with their long distance relationships tend to be able to cope with various stressors that are associated with the relationships. Most of the partners or individuals who cannot cope with such stressors appear to be less satisfied. Tiger (2007) maintains that these stressors affect the bond between the involved partners. In the end, the partners end up either not being committed to the relationship or bringing it to an end. Examples of the factors that affect long distance relationships and relationship satisfaction include depression, loneliness, reduced intimacy and uncertainty. These stressors have negative impacts on this type of relationship. Relational stability and relational uncertainty are known to result in satisfaction within a relationship. According to Stafford (2004), the various factors or stressors that affect relationship satisfaction can affect an individual both physically and psychologically. Communication enables one to be able to cope with these stressors, a reason why it is vital to understand how the frequency of communication affects satisfaction in that particular relationship. Communication and Relationship Uncertainty According to frère, uncertainty in a relationship occurs when there is some form of ambiguity in the relationship in question. In such cases, the relationship is not only ambiguous but also appears to be unpredictable and complex (Holmes, 2007). The partners in such relationships come out as people who are insecure because of their own knowledge or due to the general state of knowledge. The inability of the partners in such relationships to point out or predict the possible outcomes of the relationship normally leads to a state of being tense .At times it results in conflicts that may have negative impact on the relationship. According to Gommilion (2014) lack of communication or insufficient communication is a possible cause of relationship uncertainty among couples who are in a long distance relationship. In order to reduce these uncertainties, the partners are supposed to eliminate the factors that result in this kind of situations. There are several ways through which uncertainty is reduced. Examples of avenues that have been identified to help in handling such situations include verbal communication, striving to get information from the other partner and monitoring the behavior of the other individuals. All these are intended to reduce the level of uncertainty in that particular relationship. Dorcy (2007) defines uncertainty in a relationship as the degree of confidence that one partner has in the other partner. This degree of confidence is determined by one’s self and also by the behavior and character of the other party in question. Wood (2007) says that reducing relationship uncertainty is very much needed especially in the cases where the partners spend considerable amount of time away from one another. When this is not done, the problems associated with the lack of confidence in the relationship may end up breaking the relationship. The frequency of communication and the channels through which couples in a long distance relationship communicate also influences the degree of uncertainty in that given relationship (Ladd, 2007). The Influence of Social Networks Sites on Relationships According to Shipp (2006) the social networking websites have played very critical roles in relationships today. Not only are these sites used as a channel of communication between partners who are in a long distance relationship but they also result in multiple long distance relationships. Cases of people meeting through the various social networking sites and the going ahead to start relationships are very common (Knux & Schast, 2009). The social networking sites have allowed people who live in geographically distant locations to meet and then go ahead to forge relationships. In most instances the couples or people in such relationships continue living in their original geographical areas. These social networking sites are the ones that are used by these people to communicate. The sites have been very popular as they allow for instant verbal as well as audio communications. Moreover, they are deemed to be cheaper compared to other channels of communication such as phone calls. In studying the impact of the social networking sites on the long distance relationship, focus has basically be been put on how these sites contribute to the long distance relationship that is being studied or examined (Bryan, 2008). Moreover, it is imperative to have in mind that there are several problems that face the long distance relationship that are caused by people striving to maintain multiple long distance relationships through the social networks. Studies have additionally been carried out to understand how such sites support the long distance relationships with majority of the findings indicating the most of the couples in the long distance relationships prefer the sites as the sole communication channel (Guerrero, 2010). The reasons why they prefer the sites vary from an individual to the other. Examples of the reasons that are given for using the sites include low cost, speedier communication and the ability to share various media through this channel. Hypothesis H1: Higher communication frequency among individuals in a long distance relationship increases the level of satisfaction in that particular relationship. Method Participants The participants in this study were college going students. The reason why this sample population was selected is due to the fact that college going students form the majority of the people who are in the long distance relationships. The data in this study was obtained from a population of 250 students who took part in the online survey (Kanokanga, 2008). The sample population was aged between eighteen and forty years. 80 % of the participants in this study were aged between 18 and 23 years. The mean age was 20.4 while the standard deviation in this particular study was 3.22 (JET, 2001). Procedure In this study, each participant in a long distance relationship was asked to report on the relationship. Here, long distance relationship was taken to be that where the people in the involved parties live far from each other, and are; hence, unable to have a face to face interaction on a daily basis. Those who took part were requested to reveal the number of times they communicated and the mode of communication that they employed in their long distance relationship. Each participant indicated the frequency of their communication through various channels that include emails, social networking sites, instant messaging platforms and text messages. Phone calls were also considered to be part of the communication channels. In the study, Likert scale was used to record and study these variables. The scale that was used had the following weightings. Scale 1: No communication Scale 2: Few times on a yearly basis Scale 3: Twice Every Month Scale 4: Once or twice a week Scale 5: 3 or 4 times a week Scale 6: 5 or 6 times a week 7: On a daily basis Scale 8: More than twice a day The dependent variable in the study was satisfaction with the relationship. This was measured on a scale of 0- 100% where 0 represented no satisfaction at all while 100 percent indicated that the partner was fully satisfied with the relationship (Strong, Devault & Cohen, 2007). Results and the Testing of the Hypothesis H1 in this study had anticipated relationship between the frequency of communication and satisfaction with the relationship. The results obtained were used to test the hypothesis on a multiple regression with frequency of communication and the satisfaction with the relationship being the variable independent and dependent variables respectively. From the data obtained, it was found that there was a relationship between frequency of commutation and satisfaction with the relationship. Those who communicated at least four times a week were noted to be more satisfied with their relationship as compared to those who had low communication frequency. Conclusion Long distance relationships are very common among the college going students. Such relationships are characterized the geographical distance that separate the individuals who are in that relationship. Due to this distance, the partners are usually unable to have face to face interactions or daily or frequent basis. This lack of face to face interaction is known to at times result in relation uncertainty which shows how confidence people are in their relationships. Communication is very vital and key in any kind of relationship. Those individuals who communicate more frequently are more satisfied with their relationship and are able to cope with stressors of this type of relationship. References Bell, C. & Brauer- Bell, K. (2012). The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide. Maryland: Ten Speed Press. Bryan, K. (2008). Loving Your Long Distance Relationships for Women. Washington D.C : Anton Publishing. Butler, T. (2014). How to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work and Flourish. Atlanta: Atlantic Publishing Company. Canary, D. & Danton, M. (2003). Maintaining Relationships through Communication. New York: Routledge. Clover, D. (2003). Long distance relationships. 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