Personal Effectiveness in Gender Communication - Research Paper Example

 Personal Effectiveness in Gender Communication. ABSTRACT Since time immemorial communication has been in existence, either in the verbal form or non verbal form. Even animals have used some form of communication despite the fact that they cannot talk like humans do. People are involved in communication in their day to day activities. Communication refers to the procedure of passing on information from an individual to the next, with the sole purpose of establishing a mutual understanding (Gardiner 2002). The aim of this research paper is to take an in-depth look at communication and especially gender communication. Various topics will be discussed for instance gender issues and differences with regards to communication. Masculine and feminine communication styles will also be looked at where a book or an article will be used as an example indicating differences in gender communication styles. This research paper also intends on discussing some of the theories that have been applied in studying gender and communication in the recent past. The topic of culture will also be briefly discussed as it also tends to have an impact on gender communication. The paper will also briefly look at the barriers that exist in communication with regards to gender. Based on the Literature review of this research paper, gaps in literature as well as suggestions for further studies will be discussed and made, respectively. The topic of gender and communication is quite a broad one, so the researcher has made all efforts of discussing specific, relevant and important topics with regards to the subject matter. INTRODUCTION The word communication is derived from Latin ‘communis’ which means ‘to share’ (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). People share information through telephones, speech, art, body language and facial expression among others. Communication usually takes place either in a closed setting or in public forums such as the Internet (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). For communication to take place there needs to be a recipient of the information or message being conveyed. The process itself draws on a number of intrapersonal and interpersonal skills for instance questioning, observing, evaluating, speaking and listening (Mortenson 2002). For communication to be effective it must be coherent as well as understandable so as to receive the expected feedback from the recipient. Effective communication also means that people are in a position of expressing themselves whether verbally or non-verbally, in a manner considered appropriate to culture and situations (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Verbal communication usually involves face-to-face conversations or speeches, while non-verbal communication can be in form of facial expressions, body language, emails and blogs, thanks to the technological advancements that have recently been embraced all over the world, making communication easier, faster and cheaper. Every living creature on planet earth is attached in culture. Culture is a behavior that transforms from that of an individual and extends to the individual’s environment such as family (Gardiner 2002). This family’s behavior then extends towards the society which is a group or a community and the general behavior of this group or community is what is also referred to as culture. In simpler terms, culture is a learned pattern of behavior as well as the manner in which an individual leads his/her life. Culture comes about as a result of faith, practices, traditions, art, language, food habits, belief and way to live (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). Every community possesses a distinct and unique culture where individuals share a specific behavior, tradition, language, belief and perception. Globalization has made it possible for individuals to migrate from one society to the next and when this diversity in culture takes place, the culture of a particular society becomes the dominant culture, where those settling in the new society form the subculture of the community (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). The interaction of various cultures with one another involves communication. It is therefore considered as an important element of communication between individuals in addition to creating a feeling of belonging and togetherness amongst individuals in the community/society (Mortenson 2002). Communication not only involves animals but also involves men and women. In any given society, men and women communicate with each other regarding ways of ensuring that activities within the society are running and being managed according to plan. Gender and communication are two factors that go hand in hand. Gender can be defined as the social opportunities and attributes related to being male and female (Toth & Aldoory 2001). This association also extends to relationships between women and men and girls and boys and the relations between women and those between men (Mortenson 2002). Gender is a socially constructed definition of male and female where the attributes are learned through socialization processes (Gardiner 2002). Additionally, gender also determines what is allowed, valued and expected in a man or woman in a particular context. As it has been observed in many societies, differences as well as inequalities between men and women with regards to activities assumed, admission to and power over resources, decision making opportunities and responsibilities assigned, exist (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). Such societies also tend to communicate differently from the rest with regards to gender. A number of people tend to confuse sex and gender, making the supposition that they are equal. However, this is not the case according to majority of linguists. While sex refers to the physiological and biological characteristics of a human being, gender refers to the roles, expectations, activities and behaviors in society (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). Sex distinguishes between male and/or female while gender is the masculinity or femininity of a person. Gender is usually related to those behaviors and attitudes learned and are of cultural significance. Consequently, sex is a innate or biological characteristic (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Culture has been viewed as a determining factor of what is considered masculine or feminine where these definitions are bound to change with social transformation in the culture (Mortenson 2002). Following the observations made, gender communication, masculine and feminine communication/speaking styles and gender differences in communication will be discussed in detail. LITERATURE REVIEW Gender Communication and Gender Differences in Communication Every race and culture around the world share one thing in general; the presence of males and females. Many areas of life are dependent upon effective communication between the two species for success. Many are the instances when men and women have struggled to communicated with the opposite gender (Gardiner 2002). Gender is thus considered as one of the main barriers to effective communication. Gender communication is a term that has been used on several occasions to signify differences in communication brought about by biological characteristics (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). Others have also used this particular term as a representation of differences that are as a result of cultural, psychological and social interactions. Majority of researchers, however, believe that gender communication concentrates on the expressions used by one gender in relationships and roles between individuals (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). The topic of presence of a difference in gender communication has been of interest for a long time where generalizations have been made between the males and females. It is thus important for one to fully understand gender differences in communication through the identification of male and female communication styles, a topic that will be discussed later on. For as long as individuals have been writing down their thoughts dating back to the creation of Adam and Eve, to its present popular expression in books, the subject of gender differences seems to have gotten their attention and curiosity (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Of particular interest has been the question of how genders are viewed to express themselves differently with regards to forms of communication. Gender communication differences begin from childhood where from an early stage, males and females are taught different linguistic styles (Mortenson 2002). In almost any given situation men and women tend to communicate differently. They communicate through opposite but equally effective means that exhibit the distinctive cultural values of the neighborhood they were reared (Gardiner 2002). In the course of their childhood, girls are taught to use their manner, act ladylike and play quietly while boys are trained that it is tolerable for them to engage in recreation loudly and use rough language (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). While it is up to standard for a girl to illustrate feelings and articulate their emotions, a boy is not allowed to do so and the one who does is encouraged to be tough, lest he be mocked by his fellow peers. Additionally, girls tend to be more cooperative as a group when playing together while boys tend to be more competitive and play team games such as dodge ball (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). The rules adhered to in relations to gender roles and behavior do not take place naturally but instead are integrated into the different roles of men and women. Men and women are totally different in that they act differently, look differently, conditioned differently and they tend to think differently (Mortenson 2002). Their brains are also structured differently where each processes information distinctly. This is also the reason as to why gender communication differences exist. While men process information analytically, women process things abstractly (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Men and women each have a distinctive communication style. It is rather unfortunate that each gender often mistakenly makes the assumption that the opposite gender behaves and thinks as they do (Gardiner 2002). Miscommunication thus arises from such assumption because each gender believes they are communicating in a clear manner based on their individual communication styles but they are not (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). It is important for men and women to stop making judgments or try changing each other when communicating. They should also learn the differences that exist in gender communication and communication patterns as a whole. Gender Communication Barriers As it has been mentioned earlier, barriers to communication with regards to gender exist because men and women tend to communicate differently and are not quite comfortable while talking to the other due to the fundamental differences in communication styles. Men tend to look for social comparisons when communicating while women value self appraisals (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). Self confidence is formed differently between the two species and it is such differences that affect the manner in which they communicate with each other. The gap in communication can result in misunderstanding where barriers between the genders are formed. There are a number of ways by which gender communication barriers can arise for instance where ethnocentrism is concerned (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Quite often as it has been observed in the recent past, there are those individuals who tend to set up barriers for themselves thus making it rather difficult to communicate with others who have different views or backgrounds. Ethnocentrism is a belief that a single ethnicity and culture is superior to others (Mortenson 2002). Such a barrier makes it hard for people of 2 different cultures to communicate properly because the ethnocentric individuals cannot understand the other individual’s culture. Culture itself can also act as a gender communication barrier. An ideology that one’s individual culture is superior to all others results in barriers in communication (Gardiner 2002). This comes about because the individual may not be willing to learn about the other person’s culture and therefore when communicating, may not be aware of certain discomforts or offenses they are causing to the latter. Discrimination is yet another gender communication barrier that is closely related to ethnocentrism (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). This occurs on a day by day basis due to an amount of causes and is also considered worse than ethnocentrism. With discrimination, one does not desire to interact with individuals outside his/her group which can include sexual orientation, race or gender (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). Stereotyping can also act as a barrier to gender communication as it tends to oversimplify the perspectives of other groups of individuals. An example of a stereotype that can hinder effective communication is the belief that all Chinese individuals are extremely smart (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Even though this may sound like a positive stereotype, it can make a Chinese individual who is not as smart feel like an outcast and therefore avoid situations where their intelligence can be put to the test. Body language is perhaps one of the most contributing factors to gender communication barriers. Between men and women, body language, choice of words and tones may in one way or the other result in communication breakdowns. An example of this can be observed in situations where a woman becomes upset that the man is not showing any empathy towards them as well as not saying the right things (Mortenson 2002). The woman may, as a result of this, either back away, use different tones or words that she would not normally use or make facial expressions. The man, on the other hand, may attempt to fix the situation or feel that it is a cycle he cannot break (Gardiner 2002). This may result in communication breakdown and to some extent, a fight. It is therefore important for both genders to be educated on or rather made aware of the differences that exist between them especially with regards to communication, as each gender has different communication styles and thus are different in the way they think or perceive things. Masculine and Feminine Communication/Speaking Styles with references to Books/Articles Many are the times one has heard of the phrase, ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). This means that they each have their own cultures. However, it is imperative to bear in mind that regardless of them coming from different planets, they tend to interact and communicate with each other in different ways every day (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). It is interesting to observe communication differences existing between male and female but it is also crucial that one does not stereotype and make assumptions that all men will behave in a certain manner and vice versa. The truth of the subject is that males as well females tend to have completely different communication styles or speaking styles which are educated at a very premature stage in their childhood (Toth & Aldoory 2001). As earlier mentioned masculinity and femininity refers to those attitudes and behaviors learned in relation to one’s gender. It is, therefore, not astounding to hit upon the fact that there exists different masculinity and femininity speaking styles. While women are thought to be more expressive of their emotions and feelings in addition to being sympathetic communicators, men, conversely, are considered to be more assertive and direct communicators (Mortenson 2002). It is easier for a woman to talk to another woman when experiencing problems or contemplating a decision than it is for a man to do the same. Men tend to keep their problems to themselves as they see no point in sharing personal issues (Gardiner 2002). Psychology of Gender is an article talking about the various studies that have been carried out and reveal that women who apply assertive and masculine styles of communication tend to be less influential on men than those women who apply tentative language (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). A tentative female is perceived as acting in a traditional feminine way and is therefore not considered a threat to male audience’s status. She becomes more agreeable and has a greater influence among men as compared to a woman who is assertive. Technological advances have of late participated in communication and in majority of online communities, the most predominant communication style between genders is masculine and aggressive (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). This is attributed to the fact that men prefer to use strong assertions, sarcasm and challenge when interacting via video games and chat rooms. Males are used to control as well as establish status by telling jokes, challenging each other and asserting ideas while females are used to establish and maintain relationships with each other (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Such acceptable behavior among men can be considered intimidating to some women, making those online communities having a larger male audience rather unfriendly to female users (Mortenson 2002). The masculine style of speaking is rather practical as it attempts to solve problems and find facts. On the other hand, the feminine style of communication is full of questions as females make efforts to better understand others (Gardiner 2002). This style of speaking also attempts to sustain conversations while inviting interaction. Deborah Tannen (1990) is a well recognized author and studies gender differences with regards to communication styles. She likens differences related to gender communication styles to those faced by different ethnic groups, speaking the same language but using different styles that are from cross-cultural influences (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). The author argues that the main use of conversation by women is to not only establish but also support intimacy while for men it is to establish and maintain status (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). She also observes that contrary to popular belief, men are the ones who tend to interrupt more during conversations and are more resistant when it comes to asking questions. Feminine speaking style involves emotional responsiveness as they attempt to make others feel validated and included. It is therefore common to observe that women tend to ask more questions. Such styles in communication can in one way or the other result in frustrations and misunderstanding between the sexes (Toth & Aldoory 2001). The influence of gender differences is seen at a very early stage in one’s childhood and shapes the communication style of the adult. Recent studies have revealed that there are a number of language differences between boys and girls as early as the preschool stage (Mortenson 2002). During this stage, girls are observed to make requests and use language to establish harmony in addition to using more words. Boys on the other hand are observed to use rather assertive language where they make demands and create conflicts, using more actions rather than words (Gardiner 2002). Another factor that tends to shape masculine and feminine speaking or communication style is the fact that in the first few years of their lives, girls are used to physical touch by their mothers as compared to boys (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). Boys, once they reach adulthood, regard touch to be a way of communicating sexual interest and orders in addition to being a symbol of control (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). Feminine speaking style is expected by the society to be polite and this stems from childhood where girls are often taught that it is better to be seen than to be heard. Theories used in the study of Gender and Communication Gender and communication is a topic that has recently acquired much attention from numerous authors and theorists, where it focuses on the ways males and females of the human race communicate under different situations (Toth & Aldoory 2001). In the current society gendered terms men and women are used instead of male and female. The former is viewed as socially constructed concepts conveying cultural ideals or values with regards to femininity and masculinity (Mortenson 2002). Under socially constructed concepts, gender is not only learned but is also dynamic and symbolic. Gender is also expressed through language, which is central to the manner in which people learn about gender, while enacting it through communicative behavior. Gender communication is believed to be cultural and with culture comes one’s identity. For masculinity and femininity, together with ways of communicating these identities, they are largely dependent upon culture (Gardiner 2002). The way males and females communicate their gender is also influenced by beliefs and values of their specific culture. Therefore, the significance of communication practices in shaping people’s lives is no less important than the field of gender and communication (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). Majority of researchers believe that gender communication concentrates on the expressions utilized by one gender where roles and relationships between individuals are concerned. It was not until 1970s that textbooks and courses regarding gender and communication emerged (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). During this time, gender was simply not recognized as a distinct idea. Some researchers have made efforts of comparing not only differences in tendency for aggressive speech but also individuals’ expectations for such differences (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Theorists have also come up with different theories regarding gender and communication where they have tried explaining as well as understanding the existence of differences in gender communication (Mortenson 2002). One theory that has tried to study gender and communication is the Genderlect Theory. This is a theory that tends to believe that men and women value communication differently. While men are more interested in status and respect, women are more interested in connecting and liking (Gardiner 2002). This theory can be related to what has been discussed earlier regarding masculine and feminine communication or speaking styles. Closely related to this theory is the sex-role theory or the gender role theory. Gender role refers to a theoretical construct incorporating a set of behavioral and social norms that are viewed as appropriate within specific cultures, for persons of a specific sex (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). Gender role theory deals with masculinity and femininity. According to a number of theorists, gender roles tend to form the basis for the development of gender identity (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). This development is on the other hand grounded in genetic basis that cause differences between males and females. Gender roles are closely linked to gender stereotypes for instance, as has been discussed earlier, men are more likely to be viewed as aggressive and competitive species while women are viewed as cooperative and passive (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Misunderstandings especially in communication tend to occur if men seem cooperative and passive while women seem aggressive and competitive, as is the case with majority of businesswomen in this day and age. There are also those men who seem passive depending on their line of work for instance in the area of nursing (Mortenson 2002). Such characteristics may appear confusing to gender stereotypes. The main idea reflected in social learning theory is that children as well as adults learn gender-appropriate roles through the environment (Gardiner 2002). Cognitive development theory on the other hand assumes that children actively learn all behaviors in the course of their growing up, including gender identity. Many researchers look for the way in which gender roles are socially constructed, for instance, feminist approaches usually concentrate on socially constructed gender expectations (Kalbfleisch & Cody 1995). These approaches are quite different from other theories relating to gender and communication in that they view gender as a social role that is taught at an early age. Feminist approaches argue that if traditional gender roles were to be changed then it would also be possible for the behaviors of men and women to change (Pearson, Turner & West 1995). As a result, the way both sexes communicate with each other would also change. Recent studies have shown that feminine communication or speaking styles are a reaction to their submissive position where they tend to use more hedges, qualifiers, disclaimers, verbal fluencies and intensifiers (Mortenson 2002). In contrast, masculine communication style usually reflects their dominant position. According to gender role theory, these language differences as well as the manner of communication are intended to keep women in their place, as it were. It is therefore clear to observe that where verbal communication is applied, the issue of power is manifested in the language used between males and females (Toth & Aldoory 2001). Where non verbal communication is applied, boys or men tend to physically react differently from girls or women. While boys are very expressive in their general body language where they use arm movements and open stance to express their emotions, girls tend to be more focused on their immediate environment (Gardiner 2002). CONCLUSION When people stop to think about gender identities, they usually tend to embrace the notion of gender differences as well as traditional feminine and masculine roles. As defined earlier in the literature review, gender refers to social constructed concepts of masculinity and femininity within any given culture. It is not necessary to be informed that men and women tend to think, act and reason differently. Theorists have come up with a number of theories regarding gender and believe that both sexes are different with regards to attitudes, interests and individual traits which are biologically founded. The topic of gender and communication has been of great interest to various researchers as well as theorists in the recent past. Communication scholars and authors have also tried to come up with books explaining gender communication differences in an effort of trying to understand the reason why these differences exist. Associated with gender and communication is the difference between communication or speaking styles, masculine and feminine. As it has already been discussed, feminine communication style is rather passive, cooperative and submissive while that of masculine is more aggressive. In communication, men tend to take a straightforward approach while women tend to show empathy, concern and make efforts of establishing intimacy. Gender communication differences develop from an early stage in childhood and therefore shape communication style of the adult. Culture has also been observed to be a leading factor in gender and communication, which can also be a barrier to effective gender communication. Ethnocentrism and discrimination are some of the elements that create barriers of gender communication, because those individuals who tend to be ethnocentric and discriminative believe that their culture is superior to the rest. This makes communication between themselves and others rather difficult as they are not even willing to listen to others. It is therefore important for people to be educated on and made aware of gender and communication issues, including differences that exist in gender communication as well as perceptions of masculine and feminine communication styles in society. Further studies should be carried out regarding gender and communication theories because those that have already been established do not discuss in detail topics relating to gender and communication. Majority of these theories only focus on gender communication differences which has been discussed in detail. Gaps in literature also exist in that masculine and feminine communication styles have not been well elaborated. Researchers and authors tend to only provide information that is already known, regarding the biological differences between man and woman as well as their distinct communication or speaking styles. REFERENCES Gardiner, J.K. (Ed.). (2002). Masculinity studies and Feminist Theory: New Directions. New York: Columbia University Press. Ivy, D.K., & Backlund, P. (2000). Exploring Gender Speak: Personal Effectiveness in Gender Communication. 2nd Edition. Boston: McGraw-Hill. Kalbfleisch, P.J., & Cody, M.J. (1995). Gender, Power, and Communication in Human Relationships. London: Routledge. Krolokke, C., & Sorensen, A.S. (2006). Gender Communication Theories & Analyses: From Silence to Performance. Thousand Oaks, Calif.: SAGE. McConnell, A.R., & Fazio, R.H. (1996). 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