Marriage and Ethnicity - Essay Example

?Marriage and Ethni Throughout the world there are many perspectives about marriage than any of us can think of. In the West, the ideal notion of marriage is perceived as a union based on love understanding and mutual attractions. These perceptions bring two people together to form a family and bear offspring for the continuity of lineage. Lately, the norms associated with marriage have been turned around in the form of same-sex marriages and to a lesser degree polygamy (Dancun, Box, & Silliman, 1996). Globally, across cultures, marriage is viewed as a cultural rite of passage that brings together two parties involved in a new social union. Universally there is an overriding goal of marriage which is regulation of procreation. Cross cultural marriages are a difficult phenomenon. Anyone considering marrying from another culture should have well calculated the cost of cross-cultural marriage. Some of the issues that are left for thoughts include the aspect of not being able to adapt to the other culture in terms of language and customs. Issues to do with acceptable behaviour and roles and societal expectations also abound. Such cross cultural marriages thus bring into focus a myriad of challenges to the party increasing risk of break up. Personal Column A young, beautiful single female, is seeking a partner between the ages of 26-32. Your culture is immaterial since I wouldn’t mind sharing experience from other cultures as well as getting to learn and integrate. He should be ready to raise a family. He should be about 5’5 tall. Have a muscular body, be handsome, generous and with a good sense of humour. He should be ready to settle on the southern part of the continent on the country of their choice. He should be kind, understanding loving and financially stable. Should not be so much bound to traditions; only the most important. Of great importance is that should be ready for a long lasting relationship. Dancing should be part of his hobbies to complement what I love doing most.                                                                                                             A lady single from the Navajo community is seeking a partner. Age 20, he should be a good warrior. Should be able to fend for his family and lay food on the table on a daily basis despite all odds. He should have the ability to make jewellery as well as his own weapons that he would use for various purposes such as hunting and tending farms. In connection to that he should be able to tend well to his farm and livestock, and ensure good harvest and proper storage for future use. He should be a man of respect always being the first greet his elders and in-laws especially if meeting for the first time. To prove that he can care for his family the man should have a history of successful leadership experience. He should be a good story teller, as well as having good dancing skills. Being a member of the community council or hailing from an honourable and respected family would be an added advantage. After marriage we should settle on his parents’ home to raise a family. Marriage and the Social Aspect           Between a man and a woman marriage is considered as the strongest bond in any relationship. Most people do not marry from their own clans and therefore when two people are getting into a union, each one of them is expectant of the other since they are from different cultures. The different aspects of their culture immediately manifest at the wedding where all the parties are involved a have a say to what they feel is a good wedding in line with their culture. Every Individual has different expectations and assumptions that are deeply rooted within them. They should therefore be brought out in the open and be discussed for the success of the marriage (Michael, 1987). The cultural heritage possessed by an individual will form their views towards different subjects including finances and child upbringing. Therefore communication plays a key role in a new partnership. Assumptions should not be left to chance since the other partner may be totally be unawares of what is going through your mind. When couples take vows and pledges, it symbolises the beginning of a union and both parties should get in there with open minds and be ready to accept their partners for who they are and who they were before. No matter our races or ethnicity, we should all bare I mind that culture will shape our perspectives towards marriage and family. However despite this fact, it still remains that respect between partners should be upheld. No one person should override the needs of the other despite the fact that in most cases the man seems to always be dominating (Beulah, 1988). As much as we have mentioned that our cultures will figure out who we become, we should ask ourselves whether the same culture supports your marriage to continuously be a healthy and close-knit marriage relationship or whether it drives wedges within the fabric of the foundation of your marriage. We should be careful not to compromise our marital standards due to the mere fact that our culture and heritage are different. The Navajo People The Navajo people are known as the largest federally recognized tribe of the United States. They are geared towards family life and events, which constitute the biggest part of their lifestyle. Most of their traditions gradually emerged from the love they have for their land and their attachment to the traditions coupled with life itself. One among the many ceremonies celebrated by the Navajo community is marriage where a ceremony has to be arranged. Marriages among the Navajos are as a result of economic arrangements between kin groups. Majority of the marriages were monogamous (Clayton, 2008). However, a small percentage of men can be found to have more than one wife since polygamy was allowed only until recently. Depending on the families arrangements it was possible for one set of family to move in and settle in with the other; the wife could move in with the husband’s residence group or vice versa. Children born to any married woman belonged to the clan of the mother and thus, the clan name is automatically passed on through the generation. A child is brought up permissive and the practice of respect is very important for example; a young child should introduce themselves to the other parties when meeting for the first time. Also, since incest was a highly forbidden act, any couple of choosing to get married should be of two entirely different clans to break away from the unacceptable practise (Clayton, 2008). From the ads above, age gives the first difference of what I would want for a partner and what a Navajo woman would want. She chooses a very young man while I prefer a much older person, both of us having different reasons. She puts her focus on a man who can hunt for food and provide for the family. However on my ad there is nowhere mentioning such a case meaning that provision for the family may be on a fifty- fifty basis, a matter of discussion or maybe entirely on me. I choose to settle on the Southern part of the continent but leave the choice of country to my partner while the Navajo lady seeks a man who will move in with her into his parents’ home. No skills of leadership however are attached to my personal ad. Comparing the two ads you will notice that both of us would want a man who is responsible since I mentioned i want a financially stable man while she wants a man who will tend to his farm, hunt and provide for his family. This is a clear indicator of on the different lifestyles the two of us lead. A man with great sense of humour would always keep his children happy and so will the man with knowledge and good story telling skills. This portrays the wish we both have for our children since the biggest desire for us both is to raise a family. You will notice just how much the other lady is bound to traditions since almost all her decisions are based on traditional practices and culture. On the other side I have made it very clear that the person should not be so much attached to tradition as it can prove to be a problem in the relationship. Reference Beulah, R. (1988). Dual-culture marriage and communication. International Journal of Intercultural Relation, 12(1), 35-44. Clayton, R. (Director). (2008). Culture and life of Navajo [Motion Picture]. Dancun, S. F., Box, G., & Silliman, a. B. (1996). Radical and Gender Effects on Perceptions of Marriage Preparation Programs Among College-Educated Young Adults. Family Relations, 45(1), 80-90. Michael, S. (1987). Marriage. Theory,Culture &Society, 4(2), 317-322. Read More