The Self: Self-handicapping - Article Example

The Self: Self-handicapping The concept of self-handicapping was interesting to me in the reading. I have not seen this discussed in as much detail before in other books. The textbook says that self-handicapping happens when "people create obstacles and excuses for themselves so that if they do poorly on a task, they can avoid blaming themselves" (p. ____ ). One of the reasons I found this interesting is because most people are guilty of this. Usually we all want to save face in front of others and some things we do seem so embarrassing that we need this type of self-handicapping to keep us in familiar places. In a perfect world, we would not be self-conscious about how other people perceived us but in our world now we have so many things that make us feel insecure and frightened that it can be human nature to just show this side of ourselves. I know that I have sometimes told a story to cover something that I felt was embarrassing. As an example, I have told myself, after studying well for a test, that I probably will flunk it anyway. Sometimes I have pulled all nighters to make sure that I learn something. I have found though, that I either know the material or not. Sometimes I have not done as well as I wanted and when classmates ask what grade I received, I sometimes lie about it when the grade is less than I wanted. Sometimes I can make the test up later in some classes but not always. This section said that there are two types of self-handicapping that people will do: 1. People can set up obstacles for themselves that can insure that they will not succeed. When they do not succeed they can blame the obstacle for their failure (p. _______). 2. People make up a series of excuses about why something may not work so that in the event that it does not, they have created a reason ahead of time to blame for the failure. In looking at these two types of self-handicapping it is easy to see how everyone takes part in one type or the other. As a society we do not like to be seen in a bad light. We will do anything that we can to save face in front of other people, especially if they are our family or friends. In my opinion, self-handicapping is another way to say self-sabotage. It seems that many people are afraid to move forward in their lives so they create obstacles to keep them in a comfortable place. The challenge with this idea is that they end up putting so much effort into the self-handicapping that they do not give themselves a chance to move forward. Later in life, they wish they had done something different, but there was no way for them to do it while they were self-handicapping. This seems to be a cycle that some people are not able to get away from because they have done it for so long. The textbook says that people who use self-handicapping a lot end up putting less effort into their task to make sure it does not work. I agree with this because I thing that humans sometimes are lazy and an excuse can be helpful to get out of doing some things they may not like to do. Self-handicapping is one way that I think that mentally unhealthy people use to never move forward. They would rather complain about what they cannot do than to really get involved with their lives and move forward. Everyone has done this at one time or another, but many people realize that it does not help them in the long run. This is an area that everyone needs to look at within themselves and try to stop. Attitudes and Behaviors: Cognitive Dissonance Social psychology seems to be about how people act in group situations. It is also a very interesting study about what we as the human race call, "human nature." There are some things that we just do because we are human and we develop attitudes and behaviors because of what we choose to do. I was particularly interested in the concept of cognitive dissonance in this section because it appeals to the idea of how humans react in certain situations. The concept of cognitive dissonance is described as "the feeling of discomfort caused by performing an action that runs counter to ones customary (typically positive) conception of oneself" (p. _____). Cognitive dissonance is about the attitudes that people have about themselves versus how they act in a situation that makes them feel like they have done something wrong. This could be a situation where they embarrassed themselves, where they went against their own moral code or it could be a way that they acted in a situation that they regret later. According to the textbook, people are more upset when they do a certain type of behavior that threatens their self-esteem (p. _____). To me this says that people like to be in control of themselves and they feel that their behavior should match a certain way of being. When they act differently than their perception, it makes them feel worse. The textbook states that there are three ways that an individual uses to reduce their discomfort when they have experienced cognitive dissonance: 1. By changing the behavior that caused the discomfort to make it fit the dissonant condition. In other words, they want to make the behavior balance with the dissonance. 2. By trying to justify the behavior that has been done by changing one of the dissonant conditions in some way. 3. By trying to justify the behavior by adding a different "cognition." (p. ________). I can relate to this behavior because I have had friends that said they wanted to quit smoking when someone told them it was bad for their health. Those friends who really believed this understood that they should stop and took measures to stop. There were some friends who knew all the information about how smoking was bad for you but they would not stop. Eventually, they believed that the information that was stated was not true and that smoking really would not hurt them (even though one of my friends actually has emphysema now). I think that people can find ways to believe anything they want to believe when they have behavior that does not go with what people might think about them. Many people are so worried about their image in front of people that they would rather make up a story for themselves than to change their behavior. In this way, they have a comfort zone when they feel the dissonance. The point of this section seems to be that when people are feeling uncomfortable and their self-esteem is threatened, they will make excuses about the situation and eventually convince themselves that what they are saying or thinking is correct. In this situation it is important to get rid of the discomfort in any way possible. As I was reading this section, I thought that about how insecure and troubled many people are and how vulnerable they must feel at times. I wonder whether this is emotionally healthy for people to really use cognitive dissonance as a way to survive. This could also be a way that is very important to human nature. Stereotyping and Prejudice: In-group favoritism. In-group favoritism is rampant in our society. I cannot think of one group that does not see itself as "better" than another one. This is a concept that has existed for thousands of years I would think. According to the textbook, in-group favoritism shows up when we have "positive feelings and special treatment for people we have defined as part of our in-group and negative feelings and unfair treatment for others simply because we have defined them as being in the out-group" (p. ________). Historically, there are many examples in-group favoritism. When President Obama chose to run for president, many people started talking out against him because he was "black." Actually, he is multi-racial but this concept was difficult for people to understand. Whether it was public opinion or some people on the news, they had negative things to say about him because he was part of the out-group. Adolf Hitler also decided that the in-group was the Aryan race which he used as motivation to kill approximately eleven million people who were different in many ways. The Columbine High School shootings happened because of the perception of in-group favoritism. Both Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris felt themselves a part of the out-group and therefore went on the killing spree to "get even." This was a national tragedy that inspired many students to follow the same pattern. I found it interesting that people have studied this idea and found that in each example people who are within the in-group feel that they are "better" than the other groups and therefore feel it is "okay" to treat them poorly. I also think this is tragic because often it happens because the in-group knows nothing about the other group and just mistreats them because they are perceived as outsiders. I also feel that this type of situation can be tragic as shown in each of these situations. I know that many people in the United States have a problem with people who are different in anyway. If an individual is disabled, a different color than the majority, look or act different, people think these individuals are strange. In high school, it is always better to be in some type of in-group in order for the individual to have friends. If you were a loner or tended to be shy, many students would mistreat you for no reason at all. I think that the media has helped people find that there is a reason to talk against a group that is not like them. The media hypes thin women as better than fat women, handsome and strong men as different than the average guy. They encourage everyone to want to strive for something better than one can actually imagine. Unfortunately, many people believe that this is the way that we are supposed to be as people. I think that we should try and understand everyone so that everyone can have a good quality of life. If you are a member of a popular group I think that you have a better time than if you are a part of a group that is unpopular. If it is politics, it may not be difficult for someone because we expect people to have different political views. However, when someone decides to do something totally different than what the majority of people think is "right," that individual or that group will have a more difficult time. I do not think that this is right either. I think that people should be able to express themselves within reason, as long as they are not hurting someone else in the process. Reference Aronson, Elliot, Wilson, Timothy D., Akert, Robin M. (200) Social Psychology, 5th Edition. NJ: Pearson Education. Florida Center for Instructional Technology. (2005). A teachers guide to the holocaust. Retrieved September 13, 2009 from http://fcit.usf.edu/holocaust/People/ victims.htm. Kass, J. (21 February 2009). Columbine: A true crime story. YouTube. Retrieved September 12, 2009 from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei_ROza-l_g. Read More