The only improvement needed is presenting a balanced discourse. As evident, the similarities were comprehensively discussed. However, no information was provided on the disparities between Israel and Ireland; making the content insufficient and skewed towards providing details only in comparing their similiarities. Aside from the first statement indicating that “despite obvious historical and cultural differences”, nothing was mentioned in any portions of the essay that relates to noting contrasing details. Therefore, the points of comparison and contrast could be categorized according to georgaphic and demographic details; political orientations; and religious traditions.
The essay failed to use any form of analogy, but could have been used to effectively clarify and explain, or even dramatize or capture an image.