The Scream - Essay Example

11 February The Scream Baron Kingsley is thirty-five years old and he realizes something that makes him scream in silence.1 It’s not his psychosis2 at all, but it may be so. His psychiatrist thinks he has Paranoid Personality disorder, not psychosis, which Kingsley believes he has. Well, he cannot argue with a psychiatrist. What does he know, being paranoid and all that? Baron firmly thinks he knows enough because his Internet research confirms his diagnosis. He knows he has psychosis because he has bipolar disorder. He has bipolar disorder because of his mood swings, especially when he is on a roll, thinking about life’s uncertainties and its gruesome surprises. Baron and his wife, Elsa, live near a wharf. They are married for five years now, since she got pregnant with their daughter, Eliza. When Baron sees Eliza, love swells inside him. But his wife is another thing. Sometimes, he loves Elsa, sometimes he doesn’t. Somehow, something changed since he came back from his Afghanistan post. He even thought that she would break her promise to marry him. Not that she promised. Of course, he proposed, and then she said yes. And that’s like a promise of some sort. The wharf knows everything. It witnessed his courtship and proposal. Nothing fancy with the proposal, but he did kneel. It felt wrong to not kneel when asking a lady to marry a knight. Also, Baron made sure that the day was blue and orange with sunset hues. Blue is calming and orange is a nice color too. It reminds him of fire, so hot it burns and it feels good burning. He likes playing with candles. He always tests how long his finger can take the flames. Going back to the proposal, Baron kneeled and asked his girlfriend to marry her. Elsa looked like someone expecting it for a long time. They have been together since high school. They broke up during college, and then found each other again, when Elsa worked at a military hospital. Baron’s having his regular check-ups there, and the rest, as they say, is history. The wharf creaked under Elsa’s jumps. “Yes! Yes! I will be Mrs. Kingsley!” In college, Elsa met her best friend, Duke. They were both nursing students. Baron remembers being jealous of him. Elsa talks about Duke too much. He’s so nice. He’s so smart. Baron wants to puke. A Duke cannot be greater than a Baron. But Baron researched that a Duke was actually a higher title than a Baron in olden times. That sucks. But Baron did reveal what he thinks about Duke. He told Elsa that he gets jealous every time he hears his accomplishments, which he cannot compare to. Baron thinks he is average in intelligence. Elsa found his jealousy “cute.” But she said that she and Duke are just best friends, nothing more or less. The less part is too highlighted. It’s like a threat that Baron should not interfere with a solid friendship. When they started going out, Elsa eventually lost time for Duke. Baron believes this made Duke a bitter man, but he might be just paranoid. Elsa and Duke got married and after a year, it was Afghanistan. One month in Afghanistan and Elsa calls him. Baron got the great news that he would be a father. He was so happy, shedding a tear drop or two. But something in Elsa’s voice bothered him, something trembling, and something unexpected. He told this to his psychiatrist. But his psychiatrist thought he was just being anxious because it was his first month away from his normal life and wife. He is concerned of their marriage because many military marriages fall apart. Baron couldn’t figure it out. But the idea that something was so wrong stays inside his mind, growing and growing. He wants to know why Elsa seemed so sad, when she told him that she was pregnant. She should be happy, jumping for joy, because they want to start a family. But her voice and happiness seemed controlled. What was she afraid of? As a self-confessed bi-polar man, Baron is not happy about it. When he told his wife that he is a paranoid bi-polar mess, she embraced him, much too tighter than ordinary. Those embraces are getting frequent nowadays. He embraces her back with both arms. Her soft body can be comforting to his messy mind. Then, Eliza runs to them and a group hug happens. Life is good; at least when he’s calm and his mind does not travel to places where it should not go. Duke drops by for a visit, for what reason Baron is not clear about. It’s not Elsa’s birthday. It’s Eliza’s birthday tomorrow. But he’s not a godparent. Maybe he wants to catch up and see that Elsa is happy with her husband. And she must be. Baron believes this so. But the strain in the environment is like a strain on his head, like a bag is on his face and he can’t breathe. When he first saw Duke, he looked so distinguished. He was a doctor already, not a nurse. His red BMW shone like the red sun. Elsa was so happy to see him and invited him to stay until Eliza’s birthday. It’s Sunday so they all go to the wharf. Eliza is running a few steps ahead. She looks back and smiles, with her green eyes and dimples lighting up the sunset even more. The orange of the sky mixes with the blue. Baron loves sunsets. They end so brilliantly well. The sun sets and darkness sets in too, but only for a moment. Tomorrow, there’s another sunset. Eliza jumps and jumps. She’s playing around like a rabbit. Baron looks back at her with a smile. He glances at the two. Elsa and Duke are a few steps behind him, having a close conversation. Duke does not seem to be looking at Baron. He looks at Eliza with love and affection. He smiles and his dimples show up, the green of his eyes poisoning the beauty of the day. Baron screamed. Inside his mind, he screamed. Elsa has betrayed him! He is not the father of his daughter! They had an affair! Baron must have stopped walking for a long time. Eliza runs to him and tries to embrace him. He pushes her back, and she falls back. Elsa gets mad: “What’s wrong with you Baron?” His face must have been screaming continuously, because Elsa looks scared, and holds both his shoulders: “Baron, are you okay? What’s wrong Honey?” His face is contorted with a scream. His hands are cupping his face. He screams and screams silently, all the way to the hospital. Eliza is shaken. But she goes to her mother to visit her father at the psychiatric ward for the army. Eliza has a picture of them three, a happy family. She and Baron look so much alike with their green eyes and their deep dimples. Endnotes Read More