The Definition of Natural Family - Essay Example

The Definition of Natural Family Introduction A civilization is recognised by the society it evolves and the society itself comprises of families. The family is therefore the basic building block of the society and its strength or weakness is reflected in the status the society has in its civilization. The highly valued civilisation is one which has a vibrant society which again is a result of strong and healthy family. The complete social order of society rests on the solid foundation of millions of families who study and practice good values within the privacy of their own homes. This is only the certainty of everyday life. As long as the family is honoured and left alone to its devices, our society will succeed. This fact has universal recognition. “No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy and his family”. (Article 12 of the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights) “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the state”. (Article 16, Paragraph 3 Universal Declaration of Human Rights) Man is by nature a family man, and the strength of our society rests upon the wellbeing and freedom of the family. The rule of the family is love, which requires acceptance of children, parents, and siblings. The natural family provides the most favourable background for the healthy upbringing of children. A good family life fulfils the fundamental human need to belong and to give and receive love. 1 The definition of natural family According to the World Congress of Families is "The natural family is a man and woman bound in a lifelong covenant of marriage for the purposes of: the continuation of the human species, the rearing of children, the regulation of sexuality, the provision of mutual support and protection, the creation of an altruistic domestic economy, and the maintenance of bonds between the generations”(World Congress of Families)2 To be human, is to be born into a family unit, and it is only by living in a family that we are able to become good human beings. Man in isolation becomes a monster or loses touch with reality, and children bereft of the loving care of parents seldom develop into responsible human beings. Every lasting civilization that has been researched has an identifiable marriage model based on the innate difference between men and women and a family model whose purpose is the nurturing of children. Marriage and society The foundation of healthy family life is marriage. It brings sanctuary, happiness, meaning, pleasure and spiritual development to the man and woman who enter this institution with selfless commitment. In marriage, both spouses commit to a life of shared love, respect, support and consideration. Conflicts arising in marriage are not, reasons to break the covenant. Both husband and wife should try and resolve their conflicts and divorce should be the last resort. Marriage is a covenant that must not be easily broken. Marriages are the base of families and families are the base of societies. Divorce tears the very foundations of society. Divorce should only be considered in extreme cases like abusive relationships. Unwavering commitment in matrimony provides the secure family life that children need. Children also need love and care of both father and mother, which a marriage gives. In a recent review, Professor Linda Waite, the University of Chicago professor of sociology and a past president of the American Population Association, observed: "In a variety of ways and along a number of dimensions, married men and women lead healthier lives than the unmarried. This includes more drinking, substance abuse, drinking and driving and generally living dangerously among single men. Married women more often have access to health insurance.  Divorced and widowed men and women are more likely to get into arguments and fights, do dangerous things, take chances that could cause accidents. The married lead more ordered lives, with healthier eating and sleeping habits.  Marriage improves both men's and women’s' psychological well-being.  Perhaps, as a result, married men and women generally live longer than single men and women." (Linda I997)3 Family and child protection Children must be especially sheltered against hunger, danger, disease and anything else which might harm their expected development. On the national and international levels, declarations and officially binding agreements have been signed guaranteeing special protection, upbringing and support for children. The League of Nations Declaration of Geneva (1924) had already emphasized the need to protect children and to meet their emotional and material requirements. In its Universal Declaration of Human Rights (1948), in its International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (1966) and in its International Covenant on Economic, Social Cultural Rights (1966) the United Nations accepted as a human right "the right of every child to such measures of protection as are required by his status as a minor, on the part of his family, society and the state” Appropriate protection of children can only be successfully secured by the family. Moreover society at large believes that children and young people need protection and the best social institution to provide it is the family. Parents and the family also undeniably need the support of the society through realistic regulations governing what minors may do, reasonable laws protecting the young people, a clear legal prohibition on drug abuse, reliable disease-prevention measures etc. any serious measures to protect children should place the maximum emphasis on the continuation of the institution of the family and the children's relations to their parents. In case children are abused or neglected, then society ought to intervene with a helping hand Family and Crime. Parents exclusively possess the authority and duty to direct the upbringing and education of their children. By its character, education is not only technological and practical, but also ethical and religious. The family is the child's earliest school, parents the primary and most important teachers. Love of society and loyalty to country begin in the family. Socialization is the process whereby a human being acquires the behaviors, attitudes, values, and traditions regarded as desirable and fitting by society. For proper socialization to occur, children must develop the ability to delay or restrain impulse gratification. Children must be taught, not to hit out at others to get what they desire; to listen to and obey the instructions of rightful authority figures, such as parents and teachers; and to assist and share with others. Much of what is described as good character or virtue reflects this ability to delay or restrain impulse gratification. For example, when you tell the truth despite the knowing that in doing so you will experience negative consequences, you are restraining the impulse to lie to avoid unpleasantness. When you are charitable to others, you inhibit the impulse to behave selfishly. In truth good character reflects a well-socialized human being, Luckily, well-socialized children generally become well-socialized adults. Regrettably, under-socialized children often do not. One can say with certainty: When families fail to socialize their children, civilized society is not possible. For proper socialization, children need to know that there are people in this world who care so much about them that they will put their welfare above their own. Hence the role of family is highlighted. As the noted child psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner has written: “In order to develop intellectually, emotionally, socially, and morally a child requires participation in progressively more complex reciprocal activity, on a regular basis over an extended period in the child's life, with one or more persons with whom the child develops a strong, mutual, irrational emotional attachment and who is committed to the child's well-being and development, preferably for life” .(Urie Bronfenbrenner)4 Most single mothers are not in this condition by choice and do their very best. Most of them are shorthanded in terms of having someone reliable to help meet all the responsibility of parenting., Fathers being patient and understanding of children’s emotions lend itself to similar positive social outcomes (Parke, 1996)5. Data shows that delinquency double in cases where the father is missing than when he is present (Comanor & Phillips, 1998).6 Other supporting research suggests that even after taking into consideration a wide range of factors, including race, income, residential instability, urban location, etc., fatherless boys were still found to be twice as likely as boys living with two parents to be in prison (Harper & McLanahan, 1998).7 Boyfriends do not seem to be the answer to absent natural fathers either. Facts suggest that delinquency rates are lesser when the mother is alone with her son than when she has invited a boyfriend to live with her (Comanor & Phillips, 1998)8 I n other areas of parent-child communication, mothers seem to matter more. Children who had more reasoning-oriented mothers engage in more socially acceptable behavior and cooperative play with peers. They were also better received by peers. Together, these findings suggest that mothers and fathers i.e. family do indeed make distinctive contributions to children’s social development. (Hojat, M. 1998) Conclusion Family is the basic cell in the infrastructure of society. Healthy families translate into healthy societies. The decline in family can be linked directly to decline in society. As morals of family life such as, loving one another, respecting elders, confirming to house rules etc are put aside, so too are rules of a civil law abiding society. People want instant gratification, at whatever cost. Considerations for elders and children, ethical behaviour, have all but disappeared creating a society deprived of basic human morality. In order to combat this degradation of society greater importance and support of families is necessary. Familial ties should be strengthened and the youth must be taught that family is an asset not a hindrance to advancement in life, as is the common perception nowadays. Reference: 1 Available at: http://worldcongress.org/WCF/wcf_tnf.htm 2 3 Linda (I997) 'Why marriage matters', Threshold 57 4 .Urie Bronfenbrenner, "What do Families do?", Institute for American Values: New York, NY, Winter/Spring, 1991, p. 2. 5 Parke, 1996 6 Comanor & Phillips, 1998 7 Harper & McLanahan, 1998 8 Comanor, W. S. & Phillips, L. (1998).8 The impact of income and family structure on delinquency. Working paper in economics No. 7-95R, University of California at Santa Barbara Economics Department.  Harper, C.C. & McLanahan, S.S. (1998).  Father absence and youth incarceration.  Presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association, San Francisco, CA.  Fathers being patient and understanding of children’s emotions lend itself to similar positive social outcomes (see Parke, 1996). 9 Hojat, M. 1998). Satisfaction with early relationships with parents and psychosocial attributes in adulthood: Which parent contributes more? The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 159, 202-220. Read More