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https://studentshare.org/sociology/1670830-the-importance-of-the-experience-in-life.
Editing The document is about an experience that had in the past that taught them important lessons in their lives. The document explains what happened in the case scenario and what the learners learned from their experiences. In the document, the writer also explains why the experience is important in their lives (Assessment 2: Assessment of content knowledge in TESOL2 Error Analysis Task LING702 20110907 5). This essay as directed to their tutors that were supposed to mark the essay based on their creativity and ability to express ideas freely.
The tutors were also expected to check the students’ ability to use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation in the essays. The tone of the document is sad and compassionate as the author gives the story of nurses who fail to take care of kids. The kids in this context were the authors’ siblings. At the time their parents were looking for a job and were not stable enough to sustain them (Assessment 2: Assessment of content knowledge in TESOL2 Error Analysis Task LING702 20110907 5). The document is not organized at all.
The paper does not have an introduction or a conclusion. The author simply gives details that are not well organized. In fact, the reader finds it very difficult to understand what the author wanted to talk about right from the onset of the essay. The essay could have been organized to make it more understandable to the reader through giving it a proper introduction, organization of single thoughts in own paragraphs, and lastly a summary of the essay. I noticed several mistakes in the essay.
Among the mistakes include spelling mistakes, such as “pacients” instead of “patients”, “toll” instead of “told”, “studing” in the place of “studying” and “some times” instead of “sometimes.” The author also had tense issues, for instance, where he/she used “was” in the place of “were.” In the essay, punctuation errors are also evident where the author used capital letters in the middle of the essay (Assessment 2: Assessment of content knowledge in TESOL2 Error Analysis Task LING702 20110907 5).
Some words are also missing in the essay. The mistakes made it very difficult for me to follow the author’s ideas throughout the essay especially where words were omitted in the essay. In the event that I filled in words that I thought were right, I lost the meaning of the essay. I took a lot of time re-reading the essay so as I understand what the author was trying to say in their work. I would fix the essay by first giving it a proper title. This would make it less strenuous for the reader to understand the contents in the essay.
I would then give a brief introduction that outlines what the essay will entail. I would then check for spelling mistakes to make sure that all words send the intended meanings. Checking for punctuation mistakes will also help such as appropriate use of commas capital letters, colons and semicolons. Proper use of articles will also help modify the essay, use of clear antecedents and use of the right words to avoid misplaced or confused words in the essay. Lastly, I would use the right form of verbs to explain the events in the essay.
Work Cited Assessment 2: Assessment of content knowledge in TESOL2 Error Analysis Task LING702 20110907. n.d. Web. 6 Nov. 2014. .
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