Becoming Attached by Robert Karen - Essay Example

Becoming Attached by Robert KarenBecoming attached is a book by Robert Karen that focuses on the relationship between the neglected children and their parents. Various theories have been suggested regarding the psychological implication of the child due to the neglect from their parents at an early age. In the present generation most of the mothers in the developed countries spend less time in their homes and with the growth of the nuclear families, the needs and demands of the children remains unattained.

This is a serious concern for the overall development of the child. The neglected children are often found to influence their mother to a large extent and even stresses on their feelings of helplessness in order to gain their mothers attention towards them. The attachment theory mentioned in the book talks about the needs of the children to get attached to adults who provide care and are sensitive towards them in the early stages of their life and they crave for their parents and specially their mother to carry out the role.

The avoidant children seek for love and care from the other persons in their life when they grow up and try to gain love and affection from the teachers and the special persons later in their life. But a fear always engulfs their mind regarding the separation from the person whom they find to be affectionate towards them. It has been observed that the avoidant child is generally much more aggressive and short tempered and their behavioral nature is largely influenced by the deprival of the love and care from their mothers in the early stages of life.

Another broad issue has been hinted regarding the neglect of the children. When the child fails to draw attention towards the parents in spite of his ardent efforts, a negative feeling creeps in his mind regarding himself and he thinks himself to be unworthy of love and care which he is trying to seek. This leads to a loss of confidence for the child which even persists in the young or the adult stage of his life. In some child the unexpressed anger prevails which is another case of worry as the outburst of anger can fall upon other persons which may cause serious damage to him.

In the present generation, the parents need to be more responsible towards their child in matters of giving love and affection and they simply cannot surpass their duty towards them. Awareness needs to be raised among the parents and they can even take the suggestion from the psychologist and the social workers for the benefit of their child. The neglect of the child could even degrade the overall mental condition of the child turning him on to a lunatic. The parents need to understand that admitting their children in daycare will never result in their overall development.

The children belonging to any race or religion feels best under the shelter of their parents and negligence from the parent’s behalf would bring doom in their future which is one of the biggest shames in the modern developed society (Karen, pp. 221-28). Work CitedKaren, Robert. Becoming Attached, Oxford :Oxford University Press, 1994