The Use of Interpersonal Skills and Emotional Intelligence - Research Paper Example

? THE USE OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MODULE Dear Sarah, I would like to congratulate you on your recent engagementwith John. Some relationships are very delicate and need to be handled with care; same is the case with the both of you. Engagement is a very essential relationship and it needs to be valued and any misunderstandings need to be cleared on time. You would require interpersonal skills to help you achieve a successful relationship as they form the basis on which relationships rest. This tool can be used to become an extraordinary communicator which ensures that a relationship is a healthy one. We use interpersonal skills every day; at workplace, at home as well as with friends, so that is to say that our very crucial relations rest, to an extent, on the foundation of good interpersonal skills. These tools allow you to see potential value and show your potential value. Used to break down barriers to communicate effectively, this list of interpersonal skills creates a clear road map to quality relationships. People skills allow you to understand the process, which in turn makes you more efficient with every interpersonal experience. Developing these transferable skills you already use from time to time will greatly increase the value from all of your interpersonal encounters. Barriers to effective communication Barriers to effective communication exist where the message that is meant to be transmitted does not reach the person it is addressed to in the way it is intended. It might be distorted which can create issues in relationships. According to “barriers of effective communication”, Chapter 10, there are different types of barriers to communication. They could be either physical i.e. physical distance or they could be related to the use difficult jargon. However in your case, psychological barriers may exist, which may be due to varying perceptions that is the way in which a message is perceived by the receiver. As different individuals, you would have different mind-sets and consequently, the way you think would vary from your partner. Similarly, emotions, like anger or hurt could also lead to distorting of messages and the mind is not clear at that point in time. Self-Concept: Self-concept can be used as a common phrase that refers to the way a person thinks himself/herself or how they perceive and recognize themselves. If we are aware of ourselves, we have conceptualized ourselves. According to Carl Rogers (1959), self-concept can be broken down into three varying parts; the first is the perception which we have of ourselves, followed by the value that we believe we have and thirdly, the Ideal Self which is the person we desire to be like. Baumeister (1999) has defined self-concept by saying: "the individual's belief about himself or herself, including the person's attributes and who and what the self is". The first part is the “The Existential Self”, at the point when a child realizes that he/she actually is a separate being and is different from all others. This sense of awareness starts at the age of two to three months and might occurs because of the relation the child shares with the world. The thirds is how we see ourselves which is also called self-image. What we observe is not always the reality. This owes to a lot of factors, like family influence, friend circle, the media affect and so on. Self-esteem is like monitoring and at the end we can either have a negative or positive outlook of ourselves. I would like to share one thing that is quite important in your relation, which is the self-esteem. High self-esteem portrays a positive perception of us and signs of it include confidence, optimism, self-acceptance and not getting worried about what people might think of us. If the both of you have this then you would be able to better understand the actions of one another. However on the other hand if even one of you has low self-esteem, which is having a negative view which is dominated by pessimism, low confidence and always trying to please everyone as you are very much worried about what they will think of you, then the your engagement might suffer as it is important to hear each other out and be on the same page about different notions. A pessimist would always find something negative in their partner’s actions or words which could lead to arguments. Importance of words to change attitudes: I would like to highlight the importance of words of words which is often overlooked. They hold immense importance especially in personal relationships like yours. Words and language, just like hands and feet, are often taken for granted. It is very important for the both of you to understand the power and impact of words when used at the relevant situation. Language is a significant tool and comprises the major driving forces that control and formulate the human behaviour (Agarwal, 2010). The power of words can be distributed in six areas: Communication: Communication is the process of changing a person’s mentality, physically, regardless of the altering of the patterns. The actual words do not hold weight it is the meaning of the words that is grasped and remains in a person’s memory. Our words are a reflection of our thoughts and mentality. Sarah I would like to recommend that you should try to make thoughts easy to read and it would make John’s thoughts comprehensible as well. The very core of communication does not lie in the transfer of information which is a consequent of communication. This information theory does not hold a lot of relevance to speech. This presumption is connected with the external means of contact and not with the gist and context of the message conveyed (Gray, 1992). . Language cannot only be defined as a symbolic system and the notion of 'symbol', or 'symbolic system' seems quite confusing. 'Symbol' can be remotely applied as an intellectual word, a perplexing word that is used by various people different scenarios universally. Over here we could take an example of the symbol used to indicate a nearby hotel in a foreign country. We may be familiar with teh foreign language but we are aware of the sign of a hotel. Science: Science is an area of study which is connected with either confirmed facts or with experiential facts that are methodically organized and passed under universal laws. Language is not the single extraordinary brain power possessed by humans. Mathematics, which is an autonomous power which combined with language, comprises modern Science which is a system that consists of net of theories articulated in words. The way of communication of scientists is generally via symbols and words which can be either chemical or mathematical etc. Science is a rather special kind of communication where words are comprehensive and concise to envelop a diverse range of the scientific experiences. The advancement of science essentially relies on the addition of awareness and the use of optical imagination but the usage of words still remains necessary (Rai & Rai, 2009). Philosophy There are mixed views about the character and accomplishments of philosophy. Some of the authors seem rationally positive, whereas the others are tremendously pessimistic, there are others who are of the mindset that even though there is little of substance has been attained up till now, but philosophy may be able to get hold of some productive results with due course of time. Poetry: Poetry is something that cannot be easily defined adequately. Various definitions are recommended which are not up to the mark. According to some people, it is the term of beautiful thought, imagination or sentiment, which is used in suitable language and contains a lyrical aspect and usually has a musical structure. Unfortunately there are noticeable shades of the poetic verses. Oratory: the purpose behind oratory is to convince, influence and aggravate reactions and actions. Advertising and publicity can also be called forms of oratory. Words and the language used is an integral part of oratory. If the both of you have such powers, it might become a problem as the both of you would like to convince the other of your recommendations and beliefs. Hypnosis: Hypnosis is an unnaturally fashioned condition by which the subject looks like they are in a deep sleep, without altering his or her mental or physical state, apart the manipulation of an outside or direction. Nonverbal Communication It is only portion of our entire brain that is utilised for verbal communication. The major part of our communication is nonverbal, and the brain perceives a large percentage of communication from people via nonverbal signals, which is done unintentionally. Nonverbal signs include facial gestures, eye movements, tone of voice, nodding of the head, time taken to answer a question and hand gestures. As one part of the mind busy paying attention to words, the other areas are simultaneously concentrating and observing nonverbal actions that escort the words. We are in a better position to learn the meaning of words through nonverbal communication (Harvey, 2006). . You might have noticed that sometimes even if you do not say anything, the message is conveyed to John. If the gesture is not very positive it might lead to arguments or hard feelings, so the words should be backed up with nonverbal communication so that negative perception is altered. It controls our lives despite the fact that we live in a world where words play a major role. Preferably, words should harmonize, improve and enhance your communication with your partner for example, smiling with the compliment, an affectionate gaze, the comforting touch accompanied with calming words. Sarah you would need to learn to put meaning in to words by synchronizing verbal and nonverbal communication. Your facial expression is a vital tool of your communication with John, your eyes and smile could say a lot. Emotions are the lifeline of communication in everyone’s life. You would observe Sarah, that a conversation between you and John would be dazzling and energetic, while a meeting with your boss might be lacking feeling and boring. If emotions are not present, nothing would make a difference and everyone would be ignorant of surroundings and loved ones. We would turn into audiences of our lives, not actively participating in it. Conversation would not bother us and make us feel disconnected, like it is occurring in another place. Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence can be defined as the capability to recognize, consider, and direct the emotions of you as well as of others. Sarah, people do not realise but this is one of the building blocks of your relationship with John. You should be able to identify any signs that are directed towards you steer clear of distressing or uncomfortable circumstances. If you are able to read John, it would easier to respond to his actions, I would like to add that self-awareness and understanding your own emotions is a prerequisite for that. If you are truly aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you would be in a better position to judge the reasons behind John’s actions. You should be able to control your emotions, for example anger and jealousy which is not an easy task but you can work towards it. The social surroundings shall not be ignored and you should try to design your actions in accordance to them. You should work towards an easy going relationship where the both of you can solve problems together and manage conflict of interest. Humour is a powerful technique to lighten up the mood or at critical stages reduce stress that arises from challenges you are confronted with. Improving interpersonal skills are crucial to create flourishing relationships like yours and John’s. All you really need to do is polish your people skills and you would reap great benefits. Not only will you notice John valuing you, your relationships will grow and become strong. You should not let routine stress affect your relation with John as little things might add up and cause grudges in the long run. You will feel a considerable difference in the heath of your relationship which you hold so dearly to your heart. Kind Regards References: Top of Form Top of Form Top of Form Top of Form Top of Form Top of Form Agarwal, O. P. (2010). Effective communication: I. Mumbai [India: Himalaya Pub. House. Baumeister, R. F. (1999). The self in social psychology. Philadelphia, PA: Psychology Press. Gray, J. (1992). Men are from Mars, women are from Venus: A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships. New York, NY: HarperCollins. Harvey, N. (2006). Effective communication. Dublin: Gill & Macmillan. Rai, U., & Rai, S. M. (2009). Effective communication. Mumbai [India: Himalaya Pub. House. Rogers, C. R. (1959). Articles: Workshop in counseling, Education 205.3, San Francisco State College. San Francisco. Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Read More