The Issue of Gay Parenting - Research Paper Example

October 30, Gay Parenting        Family is the fundamental of human life bonded by interpersonal companionships and unending commitment and love. It is the family that provides strength, care and support to the children and walks them through infancy and adolescence to a bright future molding them to become better citizens. It is these subtle fibers connecting parents to their children that provides strength and flexibility to the institution called society.         Over the past several decades there has been a significant diversification in the structure of family in the US and this has been reflected and discussed in the accompanying literature. From a single heterosexual family, it diversified in to “intentionally childless families, families of separated parents, single-parent families, step-families, blended-families, families of same-sex parents, families in which the children are conceived with donated gametes and/or reproductive technologies” (Short et al. 4) bi-parental families and multi-parental families.       A significant change in this diversification of family structure began when lesbian women and gay men parented children by fostering and adoption. Adoption procedures in the US earlier revolved around the condition of a nuclear family formed of a socially recognized and accepted structure called marriage that consisted of a man and a woman. Today, the concept of ‘Family’ has been challenged and revolutionized to comprise the new social structures formed out of Same-Gender marriages.        Due to the increased diversification in the concept of family towards the 1970’s, the field and scope for family research also expanded. These studies explored and documented the newly emerged family forms and investigated the public concern about the co-habiting of same-gender couples and same-sex marriages. Many psychologists and researchers also investigated the effect of these diversified families had on children brought up by them.  These researchers came across various negative comments that existed against the same-gender families and verified them in detail to find out and differentiate the family factors contributing to children’s well being as well as those that do not.        This paper discusses the most prevalent arguments against and in favor of gay parenting and also about the socio-psycho effects of gay parenting on children raised by them. For this, research studies conducted by psychologists and scholars and literature reflecting the life of homo-gender families are considered.  The parenting skills of heterosexual families and homo-gender families and the physical and psychological development of the children raised by them are also compared in this paper.        The topic of gay parenting invites attention to gay marriage, “because the inability to marry is a big part of what makes child rearing so fraught with legal difficulties for gay parents. What most people object to about gay marriage is the notion of sanctifying homosexual relationships in the same way as heterosexual relationships. This is because, for most people, marriage is first and foremost a religious celebration” (Blakeslee 285). Same-gender marriages, nowadays, are recognized by the general public and are also given moral support. But, gay and lesbian families are the social minority, who are segregated and marginalized on grounds of the accepted notions of the traditional institution of heterosexual marriage. “A child born to a heterosexual married couple … is automatically in the custody of both the mother and the father at the moment of its birth. In a gay household, one parent typically has initial custody, whether a child enters the family through artificial insemination or adoption” (Blakeslee 285).        Gay couples are discouraged from parenthood by the majority heterosexual societal members on the account of arguments such as (1) ”The Bible tells me that lesbian and gay parenting are sinful”; (2) “Lesbian and Gay parenting are unnatural”; (3) “Lesbian and Gay parents are selfish because “they ignore the best interests of the child”; (4) Children in lesbian and gay families lack appropriate role models”; (5) Children in gay and lesbian families grow up gay and confused”; and (6) “Children in lesbian and gay families get bullied” (Clarke 557). These arguments, in fact, mirror the two most prevalent arguments existing in the society, the immorality of gay relationship and its adverse effects on the children brought up by them. The term ‘Parenting’ refers to the support, strength and care given by the parents to the physical, emotional and intellectual development of children from their infancy to adulthood.  Parenthood is also tied to the social structures and norms of marriage, heterosexuality and biological parenthood.  Hence, Gays and lesbians face great discrimination in basic parental rights. Gay men “encounter enormous prejudice” (Clarke 556) from the society that opposes their attempt to adopt a child. The stereotyping of Gay men as pedophiles by the public and the law discouraged the recognition and endorsement of gay families. “The idea that the children of gay men and lesbians would suffer socially because of their parents and that this possibility justified a denial of custody to lesbian and gay parents was widespread ...In addition ... judges were often convinced that gay men and lesbians were likely to molest their children” (In The Best Interests of the Child: Lesbian and Gay Parenting Custody Cases p. 917-943). Gay men can become parents in a number of ways. Some 'come out' gay after fathering children in a heterosexual marriage, some remain married, some get divorced but still look after children, some foster or adopt children, some donate sperm to lesbian couples and some others use surrogates. Gays as well as Lesbians, who preferred to stay committed to their companions with the promise of unending love for their lifetime, actively sought to create families of their own, like their heterosexual counterparts, by entering in to parenthood. But, the parenthood by Same-Gender parents is greatly discouraged by the society and they often experience stigmatization from the society in the form of discrimination and inequity. They are assessed for their parenting skills in order to be allowed for adoption or fostering, in negotiating co-parenting arrangements or in organizing surrogacy.        In the context of different patterns of family life, it becomes a necessity to identify the array of factors used in assessing those involved in parenting. In a study involving 33 gay and 33 heterosexual fathers, it was found that both groups scored equally in the level of intimacy and involvement in the children’s lives. Moreover, the gay fathers responded to their children with more warmth, reasoning and limit setting than the heterosexual fathers (Bigner & Jacobson, 1989). Another study showed that Gay male couples equally shared the tasks associated with parenting with a minimal polarization in levels and type of interactions, than did heterosexual couples (Biblarz & Stacey, 2006; Johnson & O’Connor, 2002; McPherson, 1993). Majority studies on intentional gay parents stated that they had a high level of motivation to be a parent. Biblarz & Stacey (2006) reported that “numerous qualitative studies offer evidence that when two (gay) men co-parent, they do so in a number of ways that seems closer, but not identical, to that of … a (heterosexual) woman and man” (Short et al. 18). The above studies came to a conclusion that Gay couples take the responsibility and duties associated with parenting more equitably than the heterosexual couples. Further, the studies revealed positive results with aspects to intentional gay parenting couples, who were highly motivated and were equipped with a range of skills required for day-to-day parenting tasks. In the studies on Gay couples it was found that they are self-committed to parent-hood, even in those situations when there is no other to take on the daily tasks of parenting. Some researchers stressed the level of equality maintained between gay couples in the division of day-to-day tasks than the heterosexual couples normally do. These studies reported that in heterosexual parenting couples, it was the women who bear “the overwhelming responsibility” (Short et al. 14) for child care and domestic work. Also, the men in heterosexual parenting couples often stay out of the physical parenting tasks, with an exception of 1 – 2 % of families in sharing physical care of the children and 5 – 10 % of families in taking equal share in daily care. Biblarz & Stacey (2006) stated that “numerous qualitative studies offer evidence that when two (gay) men co-parent, they do so in a number of ways that seems closer, but not identical, to that of two (lesbian) women than to a (heterosexual) woman and man” (Short et al. 18).        Kurdek, in his article "What do we know about gay and lesbian couples?” in Current Directions in Psychological Science (2005) reported that all the available evidences indicated that gay men, on an average, are satisfied with their relationships, which are equivalent to that reported by spouses from married heterosexual couples. In another article, "The allocation of household labor by partners in gay and lesbian couples"(2007), Kurdek stated that the division of household labor by the gay couples is related to relationship satisfaction and to relationship stability.        Parallel to the research in diversified families, a comparative research exploring the experiences of children in diverse families had also been undertaken in order to investigate the negative impacts on children, as suspected and ruled by many. A majority of studies that assessed the characteristics, behaviors, “emotional and psychological health, gender orientation, sexuality, academic achievement, social relationships, popularity and self esteem of children raised by  both same-gender parents and heterosexual parents, affirmed the positive outcomes in children raised by same-gender parents” (Short et al. 19) who were as good as children of heterosexual parents. “There is sound evidence of equal or more positive outcomes for children born into families with non-biological parents, same-sex parents and through surrogate arrangements. These apply both to children’s emotional, social and psychological developments and to parenting styles and family functioning” (McNair 7). However, some studies indicate that children growing up in homo-parental families are more reserved and exhibited lesser social skills (Sarantakos, 1996), (Patterson, 1994).  One of the common assumptions regarding gay parenting is that a child who grows up without one mother and one father will be more likely to have distorted gender and sexual behavior. Many studies were conducted to explore whether children of gay parents will more likely to be non-heterosexual other than strictly hetero-sexual. According to these studies, conducted by Brewaeys et al., 1997; Kershaw, 2000; McNair, 2004; and Tasker, 2005), no differences were identified between children raised by homo-gender parents and hetero-sexual parents.  There were also some studies (Golombok & Tasker, 1997; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 2005, 1997) which were unsuccessful to find out the sexual orientation of the children raised by gay parents or lesbian parents and these studies suggested the possibility that these children may feel more comfortable with the possibility of having a homo-gender relationship and with their own sexuality and also in their ability to discuss issues of sexuality with their parents. Children raised by Gay parents often suffer from discrimination and rejection from their society and peer groups. It has been found in a study conducted in US that adolescent children of same-sex parents were more mature, tolerant and self-reliant and were more connected with their school than the children of heterosexual parents. According to another study by Bliss and Harris (1999) observed that the children of same-sex parents experienced more problems in social interactions than the children raised by hetero-sexual parents. But, the study conducted by Bliss and Haris can be suspected in its validity as this study involved 107 teachers, who might have approached the study with some prejudice. Another study (Bozett) indicated that children raised by gay parents had fears that their peers, on knowing the sexual orientation of their parents, may act negatively or assume that they were either gay or lesbian, other than hetero-sexual. These fears, once crystallized, can remove these children from social circles making them more reserved and content. Most of the children raised by gay parents use a range of strategies to avoid the experiences of stigmatization. These include being selective in letting others know about their family or the sexual orientation of their parents, not correcting the misrepresentation of their homo-parent family and also to reach out for other children who come from the background of same-sex marriage.        It is a common argument as well as a prominent theme in anti-gay discourse that gay men 'were not born' that way and they 'choose' to be that way. (Smith & Wendes, 2000). The gay identity is viewed as moral depravity on the grounds of religious beliefs. The opinion of gay identity as moral depravity or sin is especially significant in the US, where the legal system is originated from the Bible. Since homo-sexual relation is stated as a sin in the Bible, parenting by homo-gender parents is considered as a fragile and non-normative identity.        Historically, differences in sexual orientation, other than the stereotypical hetero-sexual relationships, were considered as a mental disorder and such individuals were incarcerated to psychiatric institutions. (Kitzinger). But, the American Psychiatric Association in the year 1974 stated that "homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities" (Lesbian & Gay Parenting) though, an exposure to widespread prejudice and discrimination and other negative social circumstances can lead to acute distress in lesbians and gay men.        Contemporary research on gay parents and their children involves a wide array of research designs and control groups than the earlier studies. Earlier studies were focused on well-educated middle-class families, whereas contemporary studies involves greater diversity of families as it included same-sex parents from a wider array of ethnic and socio economic backgrounds.        On analyzing the reports of both earlier and contemporary research on same-gender parents and heterosexual parents, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (1999) concluded that the basis on which all decisions relating to custody and parental rights should rest on the best interest of the child...There is no evidence to suggest or support that parents with a gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation are per se different from or deficient in parenting skills, child-centered concerns and parent-child attachments, when compared to parents with a heterosexual orientation...and there is no basis ...to assume that a parental homosexual orientation will increase likelihood of or induce a homosexual orientation in the child...Outcome studies of children raised by parents with a homosexual or bisexual orientation, when compared to heterosexual parents, show no greater degree of instability in the parental relationship or developmental dysfunction in children.        Gay fathers are positively inclined towards family relationships and they choose to have fathers are positively inclined and look after them, which, according to Dr Gill Dunne, could become a model for the future. The scores of research studies conducted on gay fathers shows that they evenly divide the work involved in child care and that they are happy with their couple relationships. The researchers also say that gay parents are providing supportive home environments for children similar to their heterosexual counterparts.        According to Downs & James (2006), “LGB foster parents, well-trained and well-supported, offer agencies in need of new foster homes an opportunity to better fulfill the promise they make to their communities and the children in need of such positive parenting experiences. Such LGB foster parents also offer the children placed with them the opportunity to see how people who are not members of the majority can succeed in the face of discrimination and prejudice, even official oppression, with love, dignity, and resilience. These lessons should be encouraged, expanded, and explored as more and more LGB foster parents enter the foster care system” (Downs & James 297). In line with the studies done on parenting practices of heterosexual couples and gay couples and children’s outcomes in both settings, it becomes evident that intentional gay parents are in no way inferior to heterosexual parents. Also, the children brought up by gay parents and heterosexual parents are similar in their physical, psychological and emotional development.  But, it is the stigmatization techniques by the society against gay families that makes the children of gay households susceptible to emotional stress and lesser social interactive skills.                   Work Cited Blakeslee, Nate. Family Values. Texas Monthly. Vol. 35. 1973. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. Bigner, J. J. & Jacobsen, R.B. Parenting Behaviors of Homosexual and Heterosexual Fathers. Journal of Homosexuality. 1989. Print. Biblarz, T. & Stacey, J. How Does the Gender of Parents Matter? Institute for Social Sciences. Cornell University. 2006. Print. Clarke, Victoria. What About the Children? Arguments Against Lesbian and Gay Parenting. Academia.Edu. Women’s Studies International Forum. Vol. 24. 2001. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. Downs, A Chris & James, E Steven. Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Foster Parents: Strengths and Challenges for the Child Welfare System. Child Welfare. Vol. 85. 2006. Print. In The Best Interests of the Child: Lesbian and Gay Parenting Custody Cases. Journal of Social History. 1967. Vol. 43. Print. Johnson, S. M., & O’Connor, E. The Gay Baby Boom. The Psychology of Gay Parenthood. New York: New York University Press. 2002. Kurdek, L. A. The Allocation of Household Labor by Partners in Gay and Lesbian Couples. Journal of Family. 2007. Print. Lesbian & Gay Parenting. American Psychological Association. 2001. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. < http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/parenting.aspx> McPherson, D. Gay Parenting Couples: Parenting Arrangements, Arrangement Satisfaction, and Relationship Satisfaction. Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation. Pacific Graduate School of Psychology. 1993. Print. McNair. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Parented Families. The Australian Psychological Society Ltd. P. 7. 2004. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. Short et al. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Parented Families. The Australian Psychological Society Ltd. 2007. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. Read More