Social Media: Is it a Blessing or a Curse - Essay Example

SOCIAL MEDIA Is it a Blessing or a Curse? In September 2009, a fifteen-year old girl d Holly Grogan committed suicide by jumping off a bridge at Churchdown in England1. Reports that followed this tragic death all pointed in one direction- social media. The innocent angel had been abused and teased by her friends on Facebook, one of the most popular sites in the world today. Feeling she could not take the embarrassment anymore, young Holly decided to take her life. How tragic! Holly was a popular teenager in her home area and school, and according to her mother she enjoyed the Combined Cadet Force organization of the United Kingdom. Holly’s parents described her as a wonderful daughter and sister. The problem started when Holly made up stories claiming that her only brother was dead and that her parents were planning to split up. Unfortunately, when the lies were revealed, this caused great embarrassment to the teenager. What followed were unpleasant comments posted on her Facebook page and through text messages. These comments made her even more isolated and embarrassed, making it difficult to mingle with friends. The continued feelings of rejection, embarrassment and isolation were too much for her. This tragic death has many questioning the much talked about benefits of social media. Is social media supposed to make more ‘social’ or ‘antisocial?’ is it really a blessing as many think, or is social media a curse? Holly’s father said that she was a bubbly character who loved friends. From this, one would expect that social media, Facebook in particular, would give her the opportunity to make more friends and be loved. Unfortunately, the reverse happened. It is the very platform that is supposed to enhance friendships that turned against her. Holly was a victim of cyber bullying. In the modern era of digital communication, more people are becoming victims of cyber bullying. The fact that people have a higher degree of freedom on social media gives them the opportunity to attack and harass others in this virtual space. As a result, many of the friends on social media turn out to be our real enemies. Meena, Mittal and Solanki conducted a research on the use of social networking sites among school going teenagers. In their findings, the authors report that cyber bullying and sexual harassment are likely outcomes of social media usage among teenagers2. False and vulgar comments are posted online by mischievous persons whose aim is to torment the victims psychologically. Unfortunately, cyber bullying is usually committed by other teens that happen to know the victims quite well. This then means that whereas an individual might what to be a responsible online user, the actions by others on these sites might offend her. For Holly’s case, her friends’ comments and posts created anger and embarrassment, and this led to depression. Holly’s case highlights the other side of social media that has been ignored or unrecognized by many. First, it is clear that social media has eliminated face-to-face interactions, and this has made people become lonelier. Although Holly was a fun loving and friendly person, her interactions on social media did not help her create more friends around her. This made her even lonelier. James Gillespie’s article in the Sunday Times best captures this fact. The greater the number of online interactions, the lonelier one is3. On the contrary, the greater the proportion of face-to-face interactions, the less lonely one becomes. As Holly continued to interact with her friends online, the more she became disconnected with them. It was difficult for her to explain to them what her problems were. Could Holly be alive today if it were not for Facebook? This is the question many would be asking themselves. The answer is a definite yes. Holly’s embarrassment was made worse by the fact that the messages sent to her were read by many, thanks to the many online friends she had. Had such communications been face-to-face, the embarrassment could be less. In such interactions, one has a greater level of assurance that the information shared remains between the parties involved. Unfortunately, with the sharing tools available on social media today, a message or comment from one friend could be read by millions across the world. Without Facebook or other social media sites, it is likely that Holly would have had a greater degree of control of what other people said about her, and how far such messages could go. Holly felt detached and disconnected from her classmates. Her friend failed to understand her feelings and emotions, and as one of her friends said, those who bullied her ‘did not understand how much it affected Holly.’ This highlights the second characteristic of social media that is making it a ‘killer’ - the passive consumption and broadcasting of information. Stephen Marche notes in his article titled ‘Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?’ that the idea of passive broadcasting and consumption enhances the feelings of disconnectedness. Social media has made it difficult for persons to understand what part of themselves should they project to the world and which part has to remain private4. For Holly’s case, her passive consumption of information on Facebook enhanced the feelings of depression. The fact that a person is reading something that has been authored by a person in a different location makes it difficult for the reader to react to the information. Holly was accused of having slept with a seventeen year boy, yet this was not the case. For her, reading such comments on social media made her more depressed since she could not confront the authors of such information. Furthermore, the fact that her lies about the death of her brother and the separation of her parents had been exposed made matters worse. In addition, this also shows that social media exposes that part of our lives that we wish remained private or hidden. In the end, the victim has no control over what others write about him/her on social media, and the damages can be far reaching. At the time, Holly was still a teenager who was in the process of establishing friendships and relationships. It is likely that her tender age worked against her, and in a way, this contributed to this tragedy. There is also the problem of responsibility and maturity of the user when it comes to these social networking sites. At fifteen, it is obvious that Holly was not mature enough to understand how to use these technologies without affecting her. James Gillespie points out in his article that social media in itself is not bad but depends on the user. If used effectively, social media can be a powerful tool that helps people to connect and interact, and can actually reduce loneliness. If not well used, the results can be the direct opposite. Unfortunately, parents and guardians have limited control when it comes to these sites. How and what is posted by their children is entirely out of their control. It can be argued that had Holly’s parents exerted some degree of control on her usage of social media, the feelings of depression and anger could have been reduced. The headmaster at Holly’s school noted that Facebook is something that is totally ‘outside of our control.’ Indeed, as social media becomes more popular and accessible, one should expect that many young and inexperienced people will continue to use these sites. Unfortunately, they may not understand the impact of these sites on their lives until it’s too late. Had Holly understood the negative impacts of Facebook, she would have either abstained from using it or used it in a more responsible manner. This further illustrates that social media has made parenting challenging since parents have limited control of what their children consume or author. Holly’s case also highlights the idea that people are redesigning themselves to fit into the new media, and in the process, making people pursue happiness more than anything else. In Holly’s case, her desire was to pursue happiness on Facebook and enhance her friendship circles. In the process of doing that, she wanted to maintain a good image online. Unfortunately, the moment her reputation was damaged, it killed her confidence and self esteem. In the article by Stephen Marche, this concept is also well captured. The author notes that Facebook imprisons us in the way we present ourselves5. Social media is making people to redefine the concept of self identity and self image. We are striving to make ourselves look good and satisfy our online audience. In the end, this sometimes proves to be a difficult task, and this may have negative psychological impacts. The negative comments Holly received on her Facebook account were a direct attack on her personally since she had defined her identity based on what she was on Facebook. One could argue that if one is attacked or abused online, this should not have any negative impact on his or her real life. Unfortunately, people have failed to differentiate online and real life identities, and therefore these two mean the same thing. Holly’s father, Mr. Grogan, admitted that as parents, they made a mistake by failing to report the bullying issue to school. He admitted that ‘it was the wrong decision6.’ Clearly, had Holly’s parents taken the step to report the issue to school or relevant authorities, Holly’s death could have been prevented. This is a challenge to parents and guardians. In order to limit the negative consequences of social media and enhance responsible social media usage amongst our youths, parents need to be vigilant and look out for changes in behavior among their children. Holly’s case is an eye opener to the changing parental roles of the modern era. It is no longer enough to monitor and control what our children do offline, what they do online matters as well. This can also be extended to close friends and other family members. We should all be on the look out and try to understand what our children and friends are doing online. Holly’s case, although tragic, is a reminder to society and family that social media is not as good as many believe, especially to the young. If not used responsibly, the results can be tragic. Bibliography Gillespie, James. “Does Facebook make us lonely?” The Sunday Times, 13 May 2012. Pp. 1-4. Marche, Stephen . Is Facebook Making Us Lonely? The Atlantic, April, 2 2012. Accessed 11 April 2014. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/05/is-facebook-making- us-lonely/308930/ Meena Parth , Mittal Kumar , Solanki Ram. “Problematic use of social networking sites among urban school going teenagers. Industrial Psychiatry Journal 21(2012): 94-7 Rowley, Emma. “Death leap of girl, 15, bullied on Facebook.” Express, 5 march, 2010. Accessed 11 April 2014 Read More