Self-Esteem Problems and Verbal Bullying - Book Report/Review Example

Verbal Bullying About 77 percent of all students are bullied verbally or mentally or even in the form of verbal abuse (Bullying Statistics). Verbal bullying is the major focus of this essay. Verbal abuse occurs when one uses humiliating language as a means of harming the victim’s self-image. Verbal bullying is not less effective than physical bullying. If it is not taken seriously, it may lead to a bigger issue. Bullying is a behavioral phenomenon found in all societies and using verbal bullying against the child who is younger than him is infringing on their property. Bullying person is inconsiderate on victim’s feelings. She/he likes to make fun of others, and makes her/ him popular. Verbal bullying is becoming a constant problem, and it affects children in many ways. For instance, when a person makes fun of a weak person’s appearance or behavior, he/she feels victory over his / her friends. Especially, when they laugh or encourage him/her, he/she tries to does it over and over again. A bullying person always has a group accompanying them to do what he/she wants or just to enjoy to see the suffering of the victim. This group helps the person to bully the victim more effectively. Always the bullying happens when adult does not see them (Fraser, Verbal Bullying Definition. what is verbal bullying). Bullying is also something that happens between the childhood and adulthood whether it is inappropriate behavior, insulting physically or hurtful words. (wise geek: What is Verbal Bullying). Bullying could make the children feel stressed in their life and make them uncomfortable interacting with peers or family. Children who exposed to bullying might become nervous and find difficulty in talking with them because they cannot express to their parents about their suffering and what they get exposed in school every day. They do not to show weakness to their parents or teachers or even their peers or friends. Bullying may lead to long-term problems for victim’s self-esteem, withdrawal from existing friends and even severe depression. Bullying are of different types, all of this cause harm to children .Verbal bullying happens when children use harmful words or call someone by ugly name to makes him shameful or sad or even to make the person afraid of him. Verbal bullying-Words are powerful (Mandy, Clark, 2007). It involves extreme instances of teasing or use of sarcasm. Always the children who use this type of behavior know how this will make the other children recessive, which means children choose the harmful words to describe other children or contempt before others. Verbal bullying leads to long-term problems with victim self-esteem, withdrawal from existing friends and even severe depression. Verbal bullying victim who use other person has high grades in school. Children who exposed to verbal bullying in school will hate to go to school because they do not want to see the person who bullies them. In addition, they began to lose their grades because they spend hard time at school. They may lose the excitement to go to school and solve their homework. They cannot play with others children outside of school. These behaviors always happen among children at different ages in school. It still happens with children because they repeat the same behaviors every day with the victims. Many of statistics proved that bullying in school is increasing. According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), the percentage of students aged 12-18 who reported being bullied at school has increased by 24.5 percent since 2003, with the latest data samples released in 2007(Hartnig). Children who exposed to the bullying increased every time especially with the technology. Because some victims get exposed to bullying from face book or any types of the communication. According to Cauce, Coral Gables Senior High now has cellular phone that essentially serves as an anti-bullying hotline. Students and faculty alike can send text messages or make phone calls in order to report episodes of bullying (Hartnig). That makes the bullying victim easy as they contact with each other all the time. They use some harmful words or call victims by a bad name. Because their find lot of way to bully their victims and no one can knows about their behaviors, they may bully their victims consistently. In fact self-esteem problems happen when the children get hurt by any kind of bullying and they get upset and sad. Also, when the children hear other children laughing at them or describe them by some bad words. Likewise, some time they call them by bad name in front of their friends. Children might lose confidence of themselves and their friends. The victims feel sad about this action also they could lose they power and cannot face any others problems. “Verbal bullying was measured by three items - calling mean names, making fun of, or teasing in a hurtful way; calling mean names about race; and calling mean names about religion”. This is very harmful for the victims Relational bullying was measured by two items - socially excluding of others; and spreading of rumors. Bullying person uses some powerful words that could affect children and destroy their psyche. These words affect them for a long time and they cannot forget these harmful words. Youth need to have social belonging as they seek identity development. Nevertheless, with bullying children get disappointed about their future. The youth needs to think about their study and future jobs, but with bullying a lot of them get desperate. Also, bullying affects academic achievement in school. Therefore, the students who exposed to bullying cannot achieve their goal in the lives. Children may skip their class and lose their grades because they do not like to encounter the person who bullies them in school. They prefer to stay at home and pretend that they are sick. They always avoid the school environment because they do not feel comfortable in it. In addition, bullying humiliates them in front of important peer groups. Usually bullying happens in a big group of people which make the person servile and lose their prestige. It will make him lose his pride because it is harmful for the children when their peers play with their feelings. They may lose them friends because of this behavior. For instance, when children are treated badly in front of their friends or peers that could hurt their feeling. They feel ashamed and cannot make relationship with others children. They become afraid of other children and sometime cannot tell their parents about it, because they receive threats from bullying children. If Children who get exposed to bullying do not have confidence then they cannot tell them what they feel. Also the second reasons could their parents do not pay attention to their children and see the changes in their behaviors or daily life. Additionally, Self-esteem problems that carry into adulthood can lead to social dysfunction. Some students who get exposed to bullying from others cannot go to school. They become lazy to go to school. They fabricate excuses to stay at home. Children who exposed to bullying might feel angry without reason because they think about the children who always bully them without their fault. Also, they could lose their peace after such behaviors. Usually children or adults who expected to bully have some problems in her/his life. The weakness of his/her personality makes him an easy victim for other children to bully him every time. Children who exposed to bullying from others withdraw from friendships. “ It was predicted that children who exhibit greater shyness and social withdrawal would have increased difficulty with social skills and peer rejection, which would then lead them to be likely targets for victimization by their peers. Being a frequent target of victimization was expected to be linked to greater negative effect, on the basis of numerous findings documenting associations between victimization and internalizing symptoms. Further, the connection between victimization and negative affect was expected to be partially mediated by the attitude that aggression is a legitimate and warranted form of social behavior.”(Dill, Vernberg , Fonagy ,Stuart, and Gamm) .’’ Negative Affect in Victimized Children” Abnormal child psychology” Children who does not have friends or are ashamed may allow others children to harm him, because they like to show them how they control over others. Bullying make the children prefer to stay alone without playing with others or share anything with other children. They reject communicating with other children. It is not because children do not like interacting but because they are afraid of bullying they stay away from others. “Tests of mediation revealed that rejection and victimization completely mediated the relationship between social withdrawal and loneliness, whereas peer victimization partially mediated the linkage between peer rejection and loneliness.” Edward.” Negative Affect in Victimized Children” Abnormal child psychology.) Bullying make children prefer to stay alone than play with others children who have no respect for their feeling. Children normally likes to play and laugh with other children, however, if some children bully them they feel uncomfortable and will stay away and do not play with them .Children feel shameful and disgraced if someone abuse him whether by speak or behavior. In addition, some behaviors are more powerful than speaking. Children still think about their friend even when they are at home. (Effects of Verbal Abuse) This will definitely affect their personality and will not be creative. Furthermore, it leads to long-term social adjustment problems in adulthood without any effective treatment. Bullying affects the children’s life. In addition, they cannot live without relationship with other children. “Social adjustment involves developing the ability to observe and internalize norms and to translate those norms into behaviors that allow effective interaction with society. Children who are unable to internalize these norms will have greater difficulty functioning in social settings, leading to negative outcomes”( qtd.in Dufur, Mikaela , Toby . Parcel, and Benjamin . McKune 146-61) Children who are unable to overcome their problems encounter many difficulties in their life. Verbal bullying makes children stressful and get concerned about their life. As well, research found that children who commit bullying display severe depression in their life because they before were hurting other children and now feel guilty and repent. (Joseph, James, and Susan )2003. Depression leads to sadness, nervousness and can even lead to suicide. Adulthood who always get bullied from other children, do not feel good all times. They suffer in their life. They cannot do any activities, because they do not have friends to play with. They cannot go outside home because they are afraid that someone will bully them. They also face mental problems leading to poor professional adjustment and decision-making adulthood. Psychiatric disorder is an outcome into adulthood .Children which gets exposed to bullying may hide their problems to their parents or teachers because they do not want anyone to know about their weaknesses. In a study that included 486 children, researchers tried to investigate the depression among children in 4th grade (Szalavitz, M., 2012). They made interviews with the children, their parents, and teachers (Szalavitz, M., 2012). The children ethnic backgrounds and economic status were different (Szalavitz, M., 2012).The results of the study showed that “while children with symptoms of depression in 4th grade became prone to peer victimization later, the researchers found that being bullied earlier didn’t increase children’s risk of depression in later grades. The children with the highest levels of depressive symptoms in 4th grade were more likely to be bullied by 5th grade” (Szalavitz, M., 2012). The results also showed that “Children who show symptoms of depression — having low energy, social withdrawal, passive behavior, excessive crying, and having an obsessive, negative self-focus — may first be rejected by peers and then targeted by bullies” (Szalavitz, M., 2012). The problem is that this depression may lead to suicide. “Most of the studies that have examined the association between bullying and suicidality have been cross-sectional. Those studies show that bullying behavior in youth is associated with depression, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts. These associations have been found in elementary school, middle school, and high school students. “Moreover, victims of bullying consistently exhibit more depressive symptoms than non-victims; they have high levels of suicidal ideation and are more likely to attempt suicide than non-victims” (Klomek, et al, 2011). Even though, bulling is not the main factor of suicide, but it is still one of the cases that lead to it (Harpaz, B. 2010). “Six teenagers were charged recently in South Haley, Mass., in the case of Phoebe Prince, an Irish student who killed herself after she complained of being tormented by kids in her high school” (Harpaz, B. 2010).A study conducted the Center for the Study has found that more than 10,000 high school students have absented one time monthly to avoid being bullied from other students who bulling them ( DRoberts123, 2011). Children who do bullying could lie about their victims. The other point is that when the victims are with special needs they are made fun of and laugh about their words mistakes or how they walk. Children who do not care about other’s feelings make fun of other children in a group. Because they know the children with special needs are delicate and weak. Verbal bullying Happen among children in elementary school. The bullying children take other children’s toys or pen even when they have because they enjoy it. Sometimes when they go to playground after lunch also they get deprived to play with others. Of course all that happens if they do not see the teachers watching them. They try to control all the games if they can. They enjoy their behaviors and think they will have what they want anytime from others children who are their victims. Verbal bullying also happens when teachers punish some children in front of their peers. So after class, they get exposed to bullying because they witnessed teacher punishing. In addition, when they see the victim scores are down they laugh and tell other children, which make victims sad and shameful in class. Children who usually use harsh words with other children always become severe in behavior even with their siblings at home. Verbal bullying not just at school as it may happen even between the siblings at their home or outside. For instance, sometimes it may happen when parents prefer one of their children over the others because he/she has good responsibility than others, which make the other children bully him. According to Caffaro “ give their children labels that sow divisions — like “the smart one” and “the athlete” (Caffaro, cite O'connor)2013. They start detesting their siblings and try to bully them and this could make their life miserable. They cannot tell their parents why they do it because they think their parents do not like them. They continue to bully their siblings and cannot give them any chance to play with them. The child who gets bullied from his/her siblings will become shameful and upset because he/she feels guilty. Child in this case tries to get satisfaction from his/her siblings so that could make him easy to bully him. Therefore, parents sometimes play a role to support their children getting bullied by their sibling without their attention. Actually, they do not do something wrong when they praise him in front of his/her siblings. They allow their children get bullied without their knowledge. In addition, the children who bully could they have problems in future because they have bad experiences which make them do something wrong. For example, they might get alcoholic or become thieves. They might get involved with group of children with bad behavior if they do not stop from their parents or teachers from the beginning. “Not all children who bully are on the trajectory that leads to violence and criminality later in life. But of all children, these are the ones most at risk for eventually committing violent”. (Bullying is serious). Bullying might affect the children in future and make them more violent with others people. Usually, they do not have to change their life or find someone who can help them to change their behaviors to go on the right direction. It becomes difficult especially in adulthood. These children have group of peers encouraging them to continue to bully children and even for other bad behavior. Children who usually do this may feel bad later and cannot have choice in future. In conclusion, although bullying is of different types and happen in different situations for different reasons. It always brings same bad results. Bullying is one of the harshest behaviors ever because the act of bullying has dangerous effect on victims. Losing self-esteem is one of its serious effects. Children can be easily harmed due to verbal bullying by which the bullied person continues directing bad expressions to the victim. These bad and negative expressions are usually received by the victim as facts. Gradually, the victim will reach a level of losing self-esteem because all the facts she/he believes about her/himself are negative. Therefore, the victim is always a person who is not proud of him/herself. Besides affecting the self-esteem, verbal bullying also causes the victim to lose his/her friends because she/he doesn’t feel secure among them anymore. Victim always feels embarrassed to be bullied in front of her/his friends. Therefore, we usually find the victims alone. In addition, severe depression is another effect of verbal abuse. The victim becomes hopeless person who does not enjoy the activities she/he used to. Verbally abused person always thinks about what is being said to him/her. This silent negative thinking is a very dangerous indication of severe depression. Verbal bullying results in loss of self-esteem, withdrawal from friends, and severe depression. All parents all over the world are trying to raise their children as good as they can. No parent likes to see his/her children in bad condition or having bad personality. However, home is not the only place where children emerge with characteristics. School is a very important platform for characteristics and personality development as they spend considerable time there. Unfortunately, school can change the children’s personality and affect it in a bad way. Therefore, it is unfortunate that parents are trying their best to see their children succeed but do not get what they expect. Parents should take into consideration that their children may become victims of bullying such as verbal one .Teachers and school authorities should do serious efforts to raise more awareness of verbal abuse to make children brave and to defend against it. In fact, all of these factors, stories, causes and effects mean one thing. Words can be very dangerous. Honestly, words can even lead to death. It is so awkward that words are sometimes more dangerous than actions. Works Cited Anat Brunstein Klomek, Ph.D., Marjorie Kleinman, M.S., Elizabeth Altschuler, M.A., Frank Bullying Statistics"School bullying Statistics”Web2/16/2014 Bullying is serious” Bullying can have damaging effects on both the person bullying and the person being bullied. In some cases, the negative impact of bullying can be long term”. Web. Feb20,2014 Bullying." Journal of abnormal child psychology 32.2 (2004): 159-73. ProQuest. 2 Feb. 2014 . Dake, Joseph A., James H. Price,James H and Tellijohann,Susan K. "The Nature and Extent of Bullying at School." The Journal of school health 73.5 (2003): 173-80. ProQuest. Web. 6 Feb. 2014 Deroberts. (2011) Effects of Bullying. Study Mode. Retrieved from.Web 19,2014 Dufur, Mikaela J., Toby L. Parcel, and Benjamin A. McKune. "Capital and Context: Using Social Capital at Home and at School to Predict Child Social Adjustment*." Journal of health and social behavior 49.2 (2008): 146-61. ProQuest. Web.Feb 6. 2014 O’connor,Anahad” When the Bully Is a Sibling”. June17,2013.Web. Feb 20,2013 Hartnig,Sarah “Student bullying on increase, federal statistics”Web. Feb 16,2014 Hartnig,Sarah” Student bullying on increase, federal statistics”Web 2/16/2014 http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200706/field-guide-sarcastic-masters.Web 18,2014 Klomek, Anat Brunstein, PhD., Sourander,Ander, M.D; and Gould, Madelyn,PhD., M.P.H. "The Association of Suicide and Bullying in Childhood to Young Adulthood: A Review of Cross-Sectional and Longitudinal Research Findings." Canadian Journal of Psychiatry 55.5 (2010): 282-8. ProQuest. Web. 2 Feb. 2014. Klomek, et al. (2011) Bullying and Suicide. Psychiatric Times. Retrieved from Marrocco, Ph.D., Lia Amakawa, M.A., and Madelyn S. Gould, Ph.D., M.P.H. High school Bullying as a Risk for Later Depression and Suicidality. online 2011 July 27.Web. Feb 3,2014 Szalavitz, M. (2012) The Relationship Between Bullying and Depression: It’s Complicated. Time: Health and Family. Retrieved from http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/09/the-complicated-relationship-between-bullying-and-depression/ Web.19/2/2014 http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/suicide/bullying-and-suicide .Web.18/2/2014 http://www.nbcnews.com/id/36688350/ns/health-childrens_health/t/bullying-red-flag-depression/#.UwbSTWJdUfV Web.19,2014 Read More