Online Dating: Building Relationships Online - Essay Example

Online Dating Dating is one of the most interesting topics for discussion regardless of the age of those involved in the discussion or argument. However, because of the subjective nature of personal relationships in individual dating experiences, it is a highly controversial topic as anyone will hold his personal opinion depending on his previous experiences. To most people, the experience has a high probability of affecting their future relationship and choices they make. Due to the curiosity as well as complexity of modern dating relationships, I thought that writing about it given the facts can be really fulfilling and helpful to some people. Some people have found themselves involved in online dating, regardless of the seriousness of their involvement. Recent research has shown that more men are involved in online dating than women and various reasons have been found to be the cause. To begin with, men are naturally attracted to the physical appearance of the person who they are involved with. As a result, they may find themselves in a relationship without having thought of the consequences of their actions. This increases the possibility of someone being involved in multiple relationships without any serious inclination to the people involved (Barlow 2009, p. 61). To a woman including me, dating is perceived to be something that is very sensitive and doing it online is perceived to be a sign of desperation. I think that dating online is a show of how desperate someone is, and as a result, ladies keep off the online dating even if they are desperate in reality. This limits the number of women involved in online dating. As compared to other places such as a bar, I find it to be a more convenient way of finding a boyfriend so long as both parties share similar objectives and interests. On the other hand, research carried out by Cornell University has shown that most women believe that those who date online do that only for fun. I personally find online dating impossible and perceive it as a lie and do not believe that anyone can really find true love through the internet. Ladies have difficulty in trusting someone they have never met due to the distance and the fact that most of the information about the person is usually read on a profile. According to the research, it is perceived that meeting someone physically makes it much easier to create a bond and now the person than communicating through a text and email. It is also believed that most of the men met online are extraordinarily evil or immoral and thus may be killers, murderers or even thieves. This perception discourages most of the women from dating online. This perception is found to be a misconception because it is also possible to meet this bad people somewhere else, for example, in a hotel, in college, in the street or clubs floor. Although some of this people may be evil, there are a good percentage of other individuals who are good and can make great fathers and husbands too (Barlow 2009, p. 93). Many ladies prefer to be perceived as morally upright with a great life and in a healthy relationship. As a result, ladies think that meeting your spouse in the internet dating sites makes their story of how they met to be awkward and thus may stain their image. This scares off some of the women from online dating and may be the reason why many men are involved than women. For example, I am happy telling of how we met in school, at work or in the beach. According to some of my friends, there is the issue of first impression, where the approach used by most men dating online turns them away. For instance, a straight lady who upholds strong moral values may find it suspicious, when a man suggests seeing her nude picture during their first chat online. Surprisingly, this is a normal approach to some of the men although ladies may feel offended and avoid going back to the site again. The media, in most cases, has the power to either make or build a good image for any one, and in this case, for the online dating scenario. To most ladies, we tend to be more careful than men to our image and to rumors. A poor image displayed by most of the people in social media about online dating scares away ladies from the sites who perceive the comments from the media as completely true. It is also clear that, in most relationships, men are perceived to be the ones at fault creating a very bad image generally for men. This may scare off some of the women like for me it would be better meeting with the man I wish to get married to. I perceive dating to be something that is private and will only be comfortable with a given level of privacy. On the contrary, this is not the case with online dating where most of the information communicated by one of the parties in the relationship is visible to other people. This makes me to feel uneasy and scare me off from these sites. To make it worse I can’t imagine how bad I may feel in the event that I am rejected or do not get the expected level of attention; its shameful (Barlow 2009, p. 122). Depending on the reason for dating online some ladies may get in the scenario with the intention of getting someone who is serious immediately. In my opinion, it takes time for anyone to get serious with a relationship. As such, a lady may be disappointed to be on the dating scene for a long time or dating someone for long, and he does not propose as soon as they expect. In the event that this happens for several relationships, what follows is disappointment and frustration, as we ladies are conscious to our biological clock (Barlow 2009, p. 167). On the other hand, some of us are very choosy, when it comes to selecting a partner due to our highly specific attributes for a partner. This complicates the ability of a person to keep and uphold a single partner because they are unable to tolerate minor mistakes and shortcoming. In the process, some of my friends find themselves involved in many relationships without finding the intended partner, as they keep on fault finding in any of their partner. Most men are attracted to beautiful ladies; as a result, they will always overwhelm them with romantic messages. Admiration by most of the men towards ladies makes them send messages with the hope of building a relationship. It makes one feel good however, just like any other thing too much messages over a long period scares off the lady or even bore her due to their persistent nagging. On the other hand, it may be a challenge to anyone else; thus scarring off most of us from those dating sites (Barlow 2009, p. 130). Men have the natural attribute of being polygamous depending on their culture and upbringing. In some societies, men are brought up in an environment full of male chauvinism that may be either directly or indirectly oppressing the girls, thus affecting their future life. Although, most people overlook the environmental upbringing of a child, it has a direct effect on the individual even unconsciously. In the long run, a man may find himself involved in several relationships without intending for him to fulfill his ego. The attachment of most women to sex is strong and has a great effect on the number of partners an average woman may be involved with. A lot of women are unable to control their feelings after being involved sexually with a man. Due to this, an involvement with more than one man may result in complications in his relationships hence most of them will avoid multiple relationships. As a result, more men may be involved in online dating than women due to their less inclination to sex with other ladies other than their usual partners. In most societies, in the world, men are always perceived to be the ones to chase after women and not vice versa. Women who are seen to chase after men are perceived to be ethically corrupt and, in some cases, persecuted by their immediate family members. This creates a form of fear among the women who develop a phobia to get involved in online dating and pursue men. Due to this opinion of the dating scenario by the society, there is a tendency of more men being active in online dating than women (Barlow 2009, p. 78). Research carried out by Intrepid, an online blogger ran on OKCupid, has showed that women are more selective when choosing a partner than men. As a result, more men are involved in online dating than women, as they end up being overwhelmed by the looks of the intended partner. This moderates the number of women involved in online dating as compared to men. On the other hand, a recent research at the university of California shows that women and men do think differently thus creating a varied perception on the same thing. As a result, the perception of men as compared to that of women varies in regard to online dating. The advanced search for happiness makes ladies frustrated and to be always on the lookout for a better match. In my opinion of recent times, dating has become very complicated due to the presence of highly advanced technology and the unprecedented more increase in female population than male. This increases the exposure of people thus varying their values from their initial self; the result is a diverse culture due to modernity. On the other hand, people view relationships from completely different points of view making someone with a different opinion to vary sharply with someone with a different one. Reference Barlow, G, 2009, Cosmopolitan Guide to Online Dating, Penguin Publishers, New York. Read More