Solving People Puzzle - Essay Example

? Solving My People Puzzle Table of contents………………………………………………………………………...2 ………………………………………………………………………………..3 Body: Solving My People Problem………………………………………………………4 Developing and Managing My Relational Style…………………………………4 Case Study—Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness……………………………….5 Mentor Relationship………………………………………………………………6 References………………………………………………………………………………...8 Abstract The purpose for this project is to be able to describe one’s personality; strengths and weaknesses thereof. A mentor was selected to help with the understanding of personalities and provision of advice on how to improve my relational styles. The aim was to get familiar to the various tools used to describe personalities and relation styles, to be able to identify the various types of styles and personalities that exist. The effectiveness was looked at. A case study was assigned from the movie ‘Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness’ to see how well I could use these tools in a practice. That is identifying their style, design the best way to relate to them and counseling them. Developing and Managing My Relational Style Personality refers to the different ways in which people think, feel and behave. Knowing ones personality may be important in understanding why people talk, act and respond the way they do. This report aims to give one insight into their personalities and how they may be able to improve them to what they desire. There are various methods of determining one’s personality, one of them being the DISC method. This tool is very easy to understand and use. The initials stand for: Dominance which is the ability of a person to overcome competition (John, Robins, Pervin, 2010), Influence which refers to ones ability to influence or persuade people (Jackson, 2008, p. 63). Then we have Steadiness which refers to one’s ability to be a good team player (Jackson, 2008). Finally Conscientiousness which simply put is being critical to ensure quality and accuracy of work (Haslam, 2007). The qualities shown by this test include patience, good listening skills, social recognition and how a person deals with disapproval among others. These qualities are good exhibited in moderation. For example being too dominant may hinder good relations between the person and others and having too much influence may build a person’s ego to a point they don’t listen to anyone. Steadiness on the other may lead to being overlooked. For example a person who is too humble in a competitive industry is like not to survive. The DISC tool may be used to improve communication let’s say in a company environment thus improving cohesion hence better workmanship. Through this method one is able to one can identify possible career choices that are best suited to a person of their type of personality. In this method, a set of questions is administered to the candidate and their answers are evaluated using a set of algorithms or predetermined answers that were preset into the computer by professionals. This type of method tends to reveal to candidates who they want to see in themselves and not who they really are. People are usually not very honest when it comes to these questions. This method is therefore a guide into knowing the person one is and the person one wants to be so that one can make necessary improvements. This is good, considering most people are unaware of the various personalities that are existent in our world today or into which group they fall. These tests may be self-administered or given by professionals such as a counselor. The results of this test have various applications including determining the compatibility between one and their life partner, the education centers where one can go to attain recommended degrees The opinion of a counselor was sought during the writing of this report. Through this method the relation style and their percentages that I found myself belonging to was the INTJ: Introverted 67%, Intuitive 25%, Thinking 50%, Judging 67% type of person. This type of person likes being alone and enjoys intellectual pursuits as opposed to spending time with family or having relationships. They are perfectionists, detached and tend not to like most people. This is as defined in http://similarminds.com/jung/intj.html. The thinking and intuitive aspects are moderately expressed. The greatest challenge shown here is that of intuitiveness. This must be managed as this quality may be of great value to a pastoral counselor. Counselors are supposed to be able to relate on a personal level with the counselee that is align their personalities with those of the counselee in a way that assures them. This encourages them to open up about the issues they are facing hence a speedy arrival at a solution. These relational styles on their own can be ineffective and therefore have to complement each other. For example, being too submissive might hinder the progress of a person in life since they are afraid to take risks. A hostile-dominant person may be hard to relate to because they have too high an opinion of themselves and take advice from no one else. Being hostile in itself is ineffective if one is to improve their relational capabilities. Case Study—Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness The movie starts on a very tragic note when the lead actor looses his daughter and wife in road accident. This throws him into a revenge phase in which he seeks to find out what happened to his family. He found out that his family was the victims of a street race accident involving another driver, 17 year old Justin Gutierrez. Justin was a victim to communication traps as evidenced by his remorse after his terrible deed. The police had stated in their findings that Bruce’s wife was to blame for the accident. The communication traps experienced were mostly from the cops ending up in wrong conclusion in the case. Filled with revenge, the widower is intent on making sure Justin pays the price for the loss he had suffered. Though, as the case continues he is overwhelmed with the urge to convert the tragedy into something constructive that may help others. Bruce Murakami, the lead actor, is the care-seeker in this case study trying to find closure with the death of his family. He is in dire need of a grief counselor to prevent him going into the deep end. He is driven. He is determined to find out what exactly happened to his family; through this we can clearly see his inquisitive nature. He is also calm and organized as evidenced by his efforts to find out what happened to his family. His style is friendly and secure seeing as he was able to forgive the deeds of Justin and plead with the court to give him a lighter sentence (Carbonell & Renard, 2013). He instead took Justin around with him to talk to schools about the dangers of reckless driving. He found a tool that is more important than justice if one needed to heal and that was forgiveness. Through this he was able to move on with his life with lesser burden on his shoulder (Cusinato et al., 2010). Flat brain tango is a perfect tool to be used in such a situation since it is a way of understanding the care-seekers stresses in a non-judgmental way ensuring the best results. Bruce applied it on Justin and achieved the best results. Mentor Relationship The candidate has to identify a mentor, from the fields their personalities are most suited for or from the psychology field that is a person that understands the workings of human behavior and personality. A mentor should be someone the candidate relates to since they are to influence their lives. It can be a relative or an impartial party. The mentor also took the test so as to see how well we are aligned. The best way to communicate with the mentor is by trying to understand his style and personality. This way, the candidate knows what makes their mentor tick or what might make them uncooperative and therefore avoid them. A mentor-student relationship is delicate and should be handled so. The one being mentored should have the uttermost respect for the mentor if they expect to gain anything positive from them. One should keep in constant communication unless told otherwise; through email, telephone calls among others. From the DISC and M-BTI results one will be able to know how best to handle relations with the mentor. The tests give a rough idea of what the mentor’s hobbies might be. These methods have proven to be very efficient in their application (Cooper, 2008). The student may use this to their advantage to gain the most from their relationship. During communication, the candidate should be a good listener and should be open minded to the opinion of the mentor. One should be patient since good results don’t necessarily come immediately. References L'Abate, L., Cusinato, M., Maino, E., Colesso, W., & Scilletta, C. (2010). Relational competence theory: Research and mental health applications. New York: Springer. Wright, W. C. (2009). Relational leadership: A biblical model for influence and service. Downers Grove, Ill: IVP Books. Dryden, W., & Reeves, A. (2008). Key issues for counselling in action. Los Angeles: SAGE. Uhl-Bien, M., & Ospina, S. (2012). Advancing relational leadership research: A dialogue among perspectives. Charlotte, NC: Information Age Pub. Haslam, N. (2004). Relational models theory: A contemporary overview. Mahwah, NJ [u.a.: Erlbaum. Curtis, R. C. (1991). The Relational self: Theoretical convergences in psychoanalysis and social psychology. New York: Guilford Press. Read More