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My Personal Faith Journey as a Roman Catholic in the Context of Fowler’s Stages of Faith of the Religion and Theology of the Concerned Professor November 4, 2011 My Personal Faith Journey as a Roman Catholic in the Context of Fowler’s Stages of Faith I was born in a typical middle class Irish Roman Catholic household, and my parents were devout Catholics. In consonance with the Fowler’s stages of Faith, during my early childhood, I perceived God as a Father in Heaven. I simply believed that God loved me and if I be a good girl, one day I will go to heaven.
My whole understanding of God revolved around the ideas of sin and grace, right versus wrong. I distinctly remember one day I picked up a candy from a store, and my mother took me back to the store, to return the candy and to apologize for stealing. For days I believed that I had tainted my soul, for which I needed to beg forgiveness from God. During my childhood days the Church services were very traditional. I still remember that at that time the Mass was said in Latin. I attended the Mass more out of an allegiance to family practices, without really understanding as to what was being said.
The Church fascinated me and I listened to the Jesus stories with rapt attention and interest. I very soon realized that there existed different approaches to faith such as the Catholics and the Protestants. However, my grandparents being from Ireland often spoke unfavorably of Protestants. So in a way I preferred to imitate their views regarding religion by holding that there was only one true approach towards faith as espoused by the Roman Catholic Church. I must say I experienced an exposure to different religions not until my teens.
Most of my friends were Catholics and we avidly participated in the activities organized by CYO (Catholic Youth Organization). At the age of 13 I felt a strong desire to devote my life to the service of God and humanity. I aspired for a meaningful social identity through selfless service. To learn more, I actively corresponded with the nursing nuns serving in Pennsylvania. During my high school years, I aspired to be a nursing nun after my graduation. This is the time I affiliated to Fowler’s third stage of faith that is Synthetic-Conventional Faith.
I felt so happy and confident that I was going to lead a meaningful life, serving the Church and the faithful. My course was almost set when; surprisingly I graduated to Fowler’s fourth stage of Faith, the individuative-projective faith. With the passage of time as I came across people from different faiths, I felt an innate need to question my beliefs. I realized that my focus was quiet narrow, which didn’t allow for understanding and appreciating people who were not Catholics. Somewhere I also started to believe that as God was the creator of all, the non-Catholics were as much God’s creation as the Catholics.
So these religions also need to be recognized. On serious introspection, I arrived at the conclusion that though I wanted to serve people by becoming a nurse, the lifestyle of a nun was not in consonance with my aspirations. Somewhat, hesitatingly I started to analyze the traditional assumptions I adhered to and felt a dilution of the inner barriers that prohibited me from experiencing and understanding other approaches to faith. It was at this time that I befriended a girl who was a Southern Baptist, and who exposed me to her beliefs and religion.
I even attended her church, which was so different from what I had known. The people there sang while feeling the “spirit”, not hesitating from professing things before the congregation. Their approach was warm and friendly, unlike the formality of the Catholic Church. However, this friendship was short lived owing to career constraints, yet, it taught me to appreciate the alternate approaches towards faith. I innately reverted to the Catholic Church during my nursing school years. Those were trying times and I oft drew on God for strength and inspiration.
The school I attended had Masonic affiliations. I was really impressed by the Masonic altruism, benevolence and faith. Deep down, I strongly gravitated towards my Catholic roots and yearned to grow into a true Catholic person in thoughts and deeds. I feel that for the time I am still parked at Fowler’s stage 5. Being an active participant in the Catholic Church, I consider the Church to be more than a mere building. To me it is a living community with needs and issues. I have brought up my children as per the Catholic beliefs and traditions.
Still, sometimes I fail to understand as to why they are not close to God. However, I do believe that faith is also about freedom and choice. Eventually, it is for an individual to decide as to whether one intends to lead one’s life with or without God.
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