Reflections on Life Coach Experience - Essay Example

Reflective essay [Student’s Name] [Institution] [Instructor’s Name] [Course] [Date] Introduction Part of the requirements in fulfilling this course was carrying out a real life motivational speaking and life coaching session with a client. As a student, I was responsible for identifying a client with a need. After careful considerations, I settled on one client by the name Nichola. She was a female a practicing psychologist recovering from Khron’s disease. As part of her treatment, Nichola had undergone a series of operations and was finding it hard to carry on with her life as usual as she could no longer engage in her regular fitness routine. Additionally, she claimed having difficulties to venture out and mingle with people freely due to her illness hence was constantly depressed. Therefore, she was in need of guidance in her post-illness life and at same time find the balance to move on with her life. My duty as a motivator and life coach was to help the client go about her chosen path of life with confidence and motivate her to pursue and push her goals. The session with the client was to be recorded on camera and presented in class for assessment. In this personal reflection of my real-life experience as a motivational speaker and life coach, I present my insights and views on the whole experience indicating how the exercise resonates with learned theory in class. Ethical issues One key ethical issue that faced me during the exercise was my relation with the client on a personal basis. During the session, the client started flirting with me. At first, I was surprised because I had expected such scenarios to be rare, but this was happening with my very first client. From my class work, I understand that personal relationships between clients and professionals are discouraged and are unethical. Professional ethics for therapists, life coaches and counsellors condemn intimate or sexual relationships with clients. Yahav and Oz (2006) term sexual relationships between therapists and clients as a betrayal of the professional ethics of therapists. Nonetheless, this does not mean that the trait is not common. The authors note that in Israel, 2% of male patients and 10% of female patients reported to have had sexual relations with their therapists. One of the issues that have contributed to increased cases of sexual relations between therapists and clients is the use of touch therapy which remains controversial (Bonitz 2008). Though touch therapy has its therapeutic benefits, it is largely discouraged between therapists and clients of different sexes. So does this mean that should be overly abandoned? Professionalism contexts Clegg, Kornberger and Rhodes (2008) indicated that ethics are not about principles. In business ethics, deontological approaches that are based on predetermined values are not important. For instance, while relations between clients and therapists are not encouraged, it would be insensitive for a therapist to outright turn down the advances of client in the name of upholding professionalism. Such an approach does not acknowledge the changing socially and discursively constituted environments in which therapists enact their sense of duty. In this regard, I took keen interest in maintaining friendly relations with the client during the interview and the same time dodging her advances. In essences, I recognised that what the client was doing was wrong and she had the capacity of leading to acting in an unprofessional manner, but I had to be professional and clever also in turning down her advances to avoid upsetting her and avoid jeopardizing the whole session. Harassment is a common issue in client therapist professional relations. In most cases, clients are viewed as the most potent victims of harassment of any from their clients. Sexual harassment is the most common as earlier indicted. However, given that the issue of touch is highly recommended for its therapeutic purposes, the issue of other forms of harassment comes in. Sommers-Flanagan and Elliot give the issue of boundaries in professional relations. They indicate that violating some professional boundaries, which are not necessarily clearly stated, amounts to harassment. They write that rules regarding sexual harassment are clearly outlined in most cases, there are other boundaries that define a professional relationship which when once crossed, they redefine the relationship. The boundaries are also critical in managing cases of harassment. In addressing the challenges posed by the session with Nichola, I clearly defined the boundaries of the relationship. I made clear to her in a kind and repressed manner that there was need for me to retain professionalism and keep to my professional and business ethics and treat her only as a client. However this did not mean that taking such a stand would affect my counselling skills. I thus managed to contain her advances without embarrassing her or making her feel awkward and being polite and smiling about it as I made clear my position. Skills applied Given Nichola’s unique situation, I had to respond to the issues at hand contextually. To gain a better understanding of her situation, I asked her a number of questions. I used both open ended and closed questions in order to assess her situation. In responding to such questions, I ensured that I did so with a lot of empathy and showed her how good I understood her situation. However, for her to genuinely and honestly answer the questions posed, I had to earn her trust. Bosede (2010) writes that counsellors and therapists have to earn the trust of their clients. The author also notes that empathy and integrity as critical traits of a therapist. In so doing, I asked the client additional information to clarify on certain areas or sought further explanations on answers given. This I could only do by showing empathy and integrity and thereby winning her trust. Evaluation of skills The conversation with the client has to keep flowing as a sign excellence in the profession. In the same manner, the types of questions posed to the client were engaging and conversational. For instance, in suggesting new alternatives for working out, here what was said: Client: I live a very simplistic quiet life and I’m just not sure which way to go about my exercise. Myself: oh, ok (See the dog out the corner of my eye I glance over at it) Myself: so do you feel like walking the dog much? Client: I do, some days I can walk him for an hour other days only 30 minutes Myself: excellent, uum so with your yoga, have you started to look for any around your area? Client: no I’ve just been doing it at home? Myself: ok, would you like to do it in a group do you think? Client: oh I’m a bit shy, I don’t know about that. Client reflects on the idea for a few seconds Client: maybe, yeah maybe it could be good for me socially, maybe, I could maybe do that, yeah perhaps. Myself: I think it’s something worth looking into. Client: you think so Myself: I think so. Such conversations create a relaxing environment or the client to discuss and even divulge important information that will be critical in assisting her. Furthermore, in suggesting the option of joining a walking dog group, I made it sound just like a simple suggestion and not part of the professional role. Bridges (2001) says this is an important strategy in expanding the comfort zone for a client. The author even suggests that a therapist should reveal or share some feelings with the patient. Such instances also offer a window of self scrutiny for the therapist. Overall effectiveness The whole exercise was an eye opener to me. It gave me a boost in confidence in the sense that I achieved what I had set out to do. I was able to convince the client to take a different option in working out and also suggested to her on the best way of meeting a better suited partner as opposed to me. During the session, I was able to apply key ideas learned in class such as listening with empathy and being open and engaging. The most fascinating moment in the session was how quickly I was able to pick up the idea of walking her dog which I had not seen earlier during the session. By noticing it with a single glance, I was quickly able to incorporate the dog into the conversation successfully and was the basis of a strong idea. Possible improvements Some of the areas that I felt I can improve on is my ability to present myself in an authoritative manner. This is because I felt that the client assessed me in the wrong manner by hitting on me. I presume that I looked vulnerable to her or I just looked like an easy target. This is something that I plan to work on in future by most importantly changing my dress code to a more ‘mature’ one. The second thing that I felt I should improve on is my conversational abilities. After watching the recording, I realized that I used a lot of “mmmh” during the conversation. Conclusion The exercised gave a sneak preview or me as a professional life coach motivational speaker. It allowed me the space and chance to work with a client with little assistance. This made me own up the whole process and directs it to the best of my abilities and skills. The case of Nichola and the fact that she was ready to flirt with me at the very first instant opened up my eyes wide to the need for professional ethics in this profession. Other than that, I put into practice my learned theories whereby I noted my strengths and which I need to retain and also the areas that I need to work on. Other than that, I successfully handled a client and assisted her in putting her on a path that will see her adapt to a new life after the challenges she has faced in her life. References Bonitz, V. (2008). Use of physical touch in the “talking cure”: A journey to the outskirts of psychotherapy. Psychotherapy, 45(3), 391–404 Bosede, A. F. (2010). Ethical principles of guidance and counselling. International Journal of Tropical Medicine, 5(2), 50–53. Bridges, N. A. (2001). Therapist’s self-disclosure: Expanding the comfort zone. Psychotherapy, 38, 21–30. Clegg, S., Kornberger, M., & Rhodes, C. (2007). Business ethics as practice. British Academy of Management, 18, 107–122. Sommers-Flanagan, R., Elliott, D., & Sommers-Flanagan, J. (1998). Exploring the edges: Boundaries and breaks. Ethics & Behavior, 8(1), 37-48. Syme, G. (2006). Fetters or freedom: Dual relationships in counselling. International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling, 28(1), 57-69. Yahav, R., & Oz, S. (2006). The relevance of psychodynamic psychotherapy to understanding therapist-patient sexual abuse and treatment of survivors. Journal of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and Dynamic Psychiatry, 34(2), 303–331. Younggren, J., & Harris, E. (2008). Can you keep a secret? Confidentiality in psychotherapy. Journal of Clinical Psychology: In Session, 64(5), 589–600. Read More

For instance, while relations between clients and therapists are not encouraged, it would be insensitive for a therapist to outright turn down the advances of client in the name of upholding professionalism. Such an approach does not acknowledge the changing socially and discursively constituted environments in which therapists enact their sense of duty. In this regard, I took keen interest in maintaining friendly relations with the client during the interview and the same time dodging her advances.

In essences, I recognised that what the client was doing was wrong and she had the capacity of leading to acting in an unprofessional manner, but I had to be professional and clever also in turning down her advances to avoid upsetting her and avoid jeopardizing the whole session. Harassment is a common issue in client therapist professional relations. In most cases, clients are viewed as the most potent victims of harassment of any from their clients. Sexual harassment is the most common as earlier indicted.

However, given that the issue of touch is highly recommended for its therapeutic purposes, the issue of other forms of harassment comes in. Sommers-Flanagan and Elliot give the issue of boundaries in professional relations. They indicate that violating some professional boundaries, which are not necessarily clearly stated, amounts to harassment. They write that rules regarding sexual harassment are clearly outlined in most cases, there are other boundaries that define a professional relationship which when once crossed, they redefine the relationship.

The boundaries are also critical in managing cases of harassment. In addressing the challenges posed by the session with Nichola, I clearly defined the boundaries of the relationship. I made clear to her in a kind and repressed manner that there was need for me to retain professionalism and keep to my professional and business ethics and treat her only as a client. However this did not mean that taking such a stand would affect my counselling skills. I thus managed to contain her advances without embarrassing her or making her feel awkward and being polite and smiling about it as I made clear my position.

Skills applied Given Nichola’s unique situation, I had to respond to the issues at hand contextually. To gain a better understanding of her situation, I asked her a number of questions. I used both open ended and closed questions in order to assess her situation. In responding to such questions, I ensured that I did so with a lot of empathy and showed her how good I understood her situation. However, for her to genuinely and honestly answer the questions posed, I had to earn her trust. Bosede (2010) writes that counsellors and therapists have to earn the trust of their clients.

The author also notes that empathy and integrity as critical traits of a therapist. In so doing, I asked the client additional information to clarify on certain areas or sought further explanations on answers given. This I could only do by showing empathy and integrity and thereby winning her trust. Evaluation of skills The conversation with the client has to keep flowing as a sign excellence in the profession. In the same manner, the types of questions posed to the client were engaging and conversational.

For instance, in suggesting new alternatives for working out, here what was said: Client: I live a very simplistic quiet life and I’m just not sure which way to go about my exercise. Myself: oh, ok (See the dog out the corner of my eye I glance over at it) Myself: so do you feel like walking the dog much? Client: I do, some days I can walk him for an hour other days only 30 minutes Myself: excellent, uum so with your yoga, have you started to look for any around your area? Client: no I’ve just been doing it at home?

Myself: ok, would you like to do it in a group do you think? Client: oh I’m a bit shy, I don’t know about that. Client reflects on the idea for a few seconds Client: maybe, yeah maybe it could be good for me socially, maybe, I could maybe do that, yeah perhaps.

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