Characteristics of Reflective Journaling - Coursework Example

Reflective Journal By Omar Alosaimi Course Tutor: Victoria University Date Table of Contents Table of Contents 2 Week 2- Communication 3 Week 7- Conflict management 4 Week 8- Managing your emotions 6 Week 10 – Interpersonal effectiveness 8 Performance Evaluation Table 9 Introduction Reflective journaling is a sure way to aid in self-reflection on the setbacks and accomplishments along this course of study. Moreover it is a tool that helps me in processing new experiences while keeping track of the growth I achieve over time. This journal details the lessons I learn and the efforts I make to ensure these lessons become an integral part of my life through school. Week 2- Communication Giving and receiving criticism has often proven to be a hard nut to for me to swallow and I have often found myself feeling contempt towards people around me who give feedback with much ease. Well I guess it all goes back to how effective a communicator one is and this lecture has been a great eye opener for me to evaluate my communication style. Watzlawick, Beavin and Jackson (1967) argue that any form of communication implies the existence of a commitment that defines a relationship. This happened to be my case because a few days after the lecture, I had a conversation with my mentor which required me to provide him with feedback (positive and negative) regarding our mentor-mentee relationship. I have to admit that for a while I felt ambushed and did not know what to say or do, but this had to be done regardless of any seeming mental obstacle. Keeping in mind the steps of giving effective criticism learnt in class earlier on, I started off by appreciating his input detailing the positive lessons I had learnt in the course of our relationship. Honestly, at this point I felt like it would be rude to point out his weakness especially one that was so important I, but I think he was quick to notice the hesitation and prompted me with a quick question, “so does it mean I have no weakness?” Relief washed over me and I grabbed the opportunity to point out his weakness which was poor communication. I have always though him to be a very poor communicator and to my greater relief, he laughed out loud and confirmed it to me that he also knew he was poor at communication. This then confirmed to me the meaning of Watzlawick’s, Beavin’s and Jackson’s (1967) argument that communication aids in creating a relationship which in turn creates communication. Now that I was free to explore this, I suggested to him to give a try at taking other people seriously and create time from his busy schedule to reply to messages and emails awaiting his attention. He was receptive of my suggestions and promised to give it a try. Revisiting this scenario, I admit that my communication style which is the supportive type caused me to beat around the bush because I was unconsciously seeking my mentors’ approval. However, at the end of it all I felt relieved and I was happy to achieve one step towards giving criticism which is being honest and prompt. Therefore when I have to criticize in the future I will remember to start on a positive note, be prompt in pointing out a weakness and remember to offer a solution to the problem identified. If I was to repeat this exercise I would remember not to let my communication style interfere with the message I intend to put across and at the same time have in mind the fact that I do not have control over the other person’s behavior once they hear from me. Week 7- Conflict management This is a very interesting topic I must say because everyone gets into a conflict every now and then and no matter how subtle it is, the main goal is to resolve and move on. According to Pace (1983) people develop a habitual way of handling conflict, probably because they are comfortable with repetition. The exercise in class requiring us to deal with the ‘lost in the moon’ scenario proved to be one such experience because of the different personalities, who have totally different priorities within the group. These personality differences brought about different opinions and there was no cooperation at all. The less dominant members of the group took a backseat and allowed the more outspoken ones to come up with a worthy solution. The solution arrived at was not very effective and I can attribute this to a poor conflict management strategy and according to Fraser and Hipel (1984) a strategy is best described as a set of options taken by or applied by any participant. I do think that we should have appointed one person to lead and moderate the process. This way every person would have given their opinion so then we could choose from the best ideas. That way we could have applied the win/win strategy instead of the win/loose and loose/loose strategies that dominated the process. Five weeks ago, I experienced a conflict with a friend that almost jeopardized our friendship. He failed to honor a promise he had made and both of us reacted in different ways. I was determined to prove that he was wrong and wanted him to apologize, while he thought I was being insensitive because the reason he did not honor the promise was my cold attitude towards him at that particular time. This became a blame game with every party determined to prove a point and later we both resulted to using the avoidance style of conflict management and for a while we did not speak. However after three weeks of silence, the differences were swept under the carpet without much discussion. In this case the conflict was not resolved to any party’s satisfaction because we did not speak about it and since this approach has worked this time, I know it is likely to bring about problems later on. Therefore, I realize that I should have applied the problem solving style (win/win) just like the owl, making sure that my friends’ needs as well as mine are met in resolving this conflict, ensuring the strengthening of our bond for future purposes. As I evaluate this scenario, I realize that I was ridden with pride and did not realize that it crippled my ability to resolve the conflict effectively. As Khan and Boulding (1964) argues, the goal of managing conflicts is to ensure that conflicts remain on the creative and constructive side of an important and invisible line that serves to separate the good form the bad and unnatural conflict. I now know better and in the future I believe I will be able to evaluate my reaction to conflict and examine that strategy I apply, and compare that to the best strategy depending on the situation. According to the lecture slides I prefer to use the problem solving style, which is also the win/win strategy of conflict management because at the end of it all relationships are fostered and the goal achieved. Every party involved is heard and their opinion is considered such that team work is upheld and when every person is content with the outcome, relationships are strengthened. However I do not apply this strategy all the time and I have often found that I will apply the win/loose strategy which proves to be tricky because it can bring about imbalance. I know better now and will resolve to apply the win/win strategy in days to come for better human relations. Week 8- Managing your emotions The lecture on managing emotions has been a real eye opener and I am delighted to discover what it means to attain emotional intelligence. On the same note I remember the discussion in class concerning optimism and pessimism. It was such an interesting discussion exploring an area that I had not given much thought before. However, during this discussion, I found out that I am an optimist supported by Cabell B.J’s (1926) view that an optimistic person believes and that we live in the best of all possible worlds while the pessimistic person is afraid of the truth of this fact. My partner also affirmed that he is an optimist and he likes to face challenges with an open mind, and often seeks help when necessary. As an optimist, I think that sometimes I tend to be delusional and other times I really am the strategic optimist. Looking back, there have been situations in my life that were challenging and I now realize that my behavior and the choices I made during such situations were driven by my optimistic nature. There are those that required me to plan seriously in order to get through, but I do realize there are other situations where I allowed emotions to get in the way thus getting delusional, maybe because I would panic or think I might not be able to solve the problem in question. Such a situation would be like a time when I had a project to work on, and by the time I received the instructions, I was so exhausted that even reading through them was a challenge. At this point my mind interpreted this to be a difficult project and panic set in. The only option at that point was to take a nap in the hope of relaxing and after the worthy rest, I reviewed the situation and laid ground plans for executing the project. I was able to come up with very systematic steps to follow which were very helpful because I was able to complete the project which was quite huge in a very short period of time, unlike my friends who took a very long time to complete. According to Willis J.B (2005) adopting an optimistic cognitive style is known to protect one from depression in the face of adversity. This type of attitude has often helped me through situations that initially appear hard though I admit that sometimes I get overly optimistic, and overestimate my ability to execute particular targets. Needless to say, I have often times had to seek help too late just because I underestimated a situation and got stuck halfway. Looks like it is a weakness I had not identified until now and I believe this reflection is helpful because I will use this discovery to improve on the way I handle situations in the future. Week 10 – Interpersonal effectiveness I most certainly enjoyed this subject of interpersonal effectiveness because every day we are in contact with other people and the quality of the relationships we form is based on our ability to relate with them and there are factors that will act as glue to keep the relationships intact. One such factor is leadership which many people tend to run away from. It is a responsibility that calls for great interpersonal skills and according to Gilley, McMillan, and Gilley (2009) any one in leadership needs to develop skills like motivation, communication and teamwork since they are interrelated and they complement each other. In my group we figured out that a leader is responsible for other people therefore he/she has to posses the following abilities; effective communication, decision making and assertiveness. We argued that a leader has to be able to communicate clearly to his people since communication is the tool that makes or breaks a team. According to Watzlawick, Beavin and Jackson (1967) communication aids in creating a relationship which in turn creates communication. In addition he has to posses the decision making ability which aids him in making important choices for his team, and this will greatly influence the level of confidence his people will place on him. Finally we felt that a leader has to be assertive in the way he expresses his opinions as he executes leadership for his team. An assertive leader makes firm and informed choices and this helps in moving the group forward. However, I think that the most important ability for a leader to posses is effective communication since it is involved in every aspect of the teams work or activity. I take a moment and reflect on one leadership trait that I do not posses and would like to develop and I realize that has effective communication. This skill is the backbone of every association and as Hocker and Wilmot (1985) argue it, every individual defines a relationship in each communication transaction, and the relay that relational definition to others along with the specific content. The plan here is to evaluate on a daily basis whether I managed to live up to the challenge and reward myself with affirmations when I manage to do so, and for the days I do not manage to do, I will use negative reinforcement by keeping away from something I really love to do, until I notice a change. Performance Evaluation Table No. times desired behaviour was demonstrated Reward given? Yes/no if yes specify reward Was reward effective in reinforcing behaviour? Day 1 1 Yes- I congratulated myself since this was day. Yes Day 2 2 No Day 3 4 No No Day 4 3 Yes- I borrowed a self help book that promised to improve my interpersonal skills Yes Day 5 5 Yes- I joined my friend and we had a fun indoors activity yes This exercise has been a great exercise and I am determined to carry on with it. I realize that reading the self help book really boosted my desire for improvement and I will definitely surround myself with more of such books. In future I will also involve other people in such an activity and we could form a support group aiming at self-improvement. Reference list Cabell, B.J (1926) The Silver Stallion. bk. 4. Ch 26 (np. np.) Fraser, N.M. and Hipel, K.W. (1984) Conflict Analysis. New York: North Holland Gilley, A., McMillan, H.S., and Gilley, J.W. (2009) Organizational change and characteristics of leadership effectiveness, Journal of Leadership and Organizational Studies, 16(1): 38-47 Hocker, J. L. and Wilmot, W.W. (1985) Interpersonal conflict. Dubuque, Iowa: Wm.C. Brown Publishers Khan, R.L. and Boulding, E. (1964) Power and Conflict in Organizations. New York: Basic books Inc Pace, R.W. (1983) Organizational Communication. Englewood Cliffs N. J: Prentice Hall inc Watzlawick, P., Beavin J.H., Jackson D.D. (1967) Pragmatics of Human Communication: A Study of Interactional Pratterns, Pathologies and Paradoxes. New York: W.W. Norton and Co Inc Willis, J. B. (2005) Cracking the stress problem. Alma Park, Grantham: Stanborough Press Ltd Read More

Revisiting this scenario, I admit that my communication style which is the supportive type caused me to beat around the bush because I was unconsciously seeking my mentors’ approval. However, at the end of it all I felt relieved and I was happy to achieve one step towards giving criticism which is being honest and prompt. Therefore when I have to criticize in the future I will remember to start on a positive note, be prompt in pointing out a weakness and remember to offer a solution to the problem identified.

If I was to repeat this exercise I would remember not to let my communication style interfere with the message I intend to put across and at the same time have in mind the fact that I do not have control over the other person’s behavior once they hear from me. Week 7- Conflict management This is a very interesting topic I must say because everyone gets into a conflict every now and then and no matter how subtle it is, the main goal is to resolve and move on. According to Pace (1983) people develop a habitual way of handling conflict, probably because they are comfortable with repetition.

The exercise in class requiring us to deal with the ‘lost in the moon’ scenario proved to be one such experience because of the different personalities, who have totally different priorities within the group. These personality differences brought about different opinions and there was no cooperation at all. The less dominant members of the group took a backseat and allowed the more outspoken ones to come up with a worthy solution. The solution arrived at was not very effective and I can attribute this to a poor conflict management strategy and according to Fraser and Hipel (1984) a strategy is best described as a set of options taken by or applied by any participant.

I do think that we should have appointed one person to lead and moderate the process. This way every person would have given their opinion so then we could choose from the best ideas. That way we could have applied the win/win strategy instead of the win/loose and loose/loose strategies that dominated the process. Five weeks ago, I experienced a conflict with a friend that almost jeopardized our friendship. He failed to honor a promise he had made and both of us reacted in different ways. I was determined to prove that he was wrong and wanted him to apologize, while he thought I was being insensitive because the reason he did not honor the promise was my cold attitude towards him at that particular time.

This became a blame game with every party determined to prove a point and later we both resulted to using the avoidance style of conflict management and for a while we did not speak. However after three weeks of silence, the differences were swept under the carpet without much discussion. In this case the conflict was not resolved to any party’s satisfaction because we did not speak about it and since this approach has worked this time, I know it is likely to bring about problems later on. Therefore, I realize that I should have applied the problem solving style (win/win) just like the owl, making sure that my friends’ needs as well as mine are met in resolving this conflict, ensuring the strengthening of our bond for future purposes.

As I evaluate this scenario, I realize that I was ridden with pride and did not realize that it crippled my ability to resolve the conflict effectively. As Khan and Boulding (1964) argues, the goal of managing conflicts is to ensure that conflicts remain on the creative and constructive side of an important and invisible line that serves to separate the good form the bad and unnatural conflict. I now know better and in the future I believe I will be able to evaluate my reaction to conflict and examine that strategy I apply, and compare that to the best strategy depending on the situation.

According to the lecture slides I prefer to use the problem solving style, which is also the win/win strategy of conflict management because at the end of it all relationships are fostered and the goal achieved.

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