Conflict Management and Self-esteem - Essay Example

Institution : xxxxxxxxxxx Title : xxxxxxxxxxx Tutor : xxxxxxxxxxx Course : xxxxxxxxxxx @2013 Table of Contents Table of Contents 2 Executive Summary 3 Introduction 4 Conceptualizing self-esteem in interpersonal relationships 4 Conflict Management 6 Theories and dimensions of managing conflicts 9 Conclusion 10 References 11 Conflict Management and Self-esteem My relationship with my roomates looked at from the perpective of self-esteem and conflict management. Executive Summary Effective conflict management is an integral aspect for the success of interpersonal relationships. Self-esteem is a key feature vulnerable to impairment when conflict is addressed defensively, tactlessly and aggressively. This report analyses my relationship with my roommates. It looks at the perspective of self-esteem and conflict management based on a reflective perspective. I’m a Kuwaiti student living in Australia, Melbourne studying at Victoria University. The issue is that I’m living in a sharing apartment with 3 other students with different nationalities: Hebr is from Brazil, Jay is from India and Demba is from South Africa. The three make too much noise in living room while watching movies. They also tend to invite their friends to our sharing apartment which they missed up the stuff and not cleaning after leaving our apartment. I already talked with my roommates however they only insist that I should not worry as it won’t happen again. However, they have been reluctant to change their behaviours. I have considered leaving, but the location of the apartment is too close to the university and city, where I can visit my friends and spend sometime over there. Introduction When people stay together, there will be conflict and tension among individual time and again. Even in the best multicultural environment, conflict is inevitable. On the other hand, self-esteem is a major contributory factor to effective communication. It can therefore be perceived that self-esteem play a contributory role in escalating conflicts. Conflict management and self-esteem are inevitable aspects of interpersonal relationship. This essay argues that conflict and self-esteem correlate, since self-esteem is an integral element for effective communication. The two are unavoidable elements of living since they are related to power relations, division of functions of differentiation of roles. Because of their nature of ubiquity, the two concepts have obtained a range of meanings. Self-esteem and conflict management are considerably ambivalent terms which have left many scholars and theorists uncertain on their connotations and implication. Their meanings and relevance are discussed in this essay. The essay also suggests theories that can enable an effective understanding of their essence and how to cope with them. Conceptualizing self-esteem in interpersonal relationships Self-esteem refers to how individuals assess themselves favorably. Based on the case scenario, I'm particularly concerned about my self-esteem. For instance, I desire that the roommates respect my desire to see the room clean. I'm also concerned about how their friends should perceive me. This scenario can best be understood using the Sociometer theory. Sociometer theory hypothesises that people are greatly motivated to protect their self-esteem and to augment it through their actions and thoughts. According to the theory, people will often be concerned with their self-esteem and will evaluate themselves on how socially acceptable they are and how these qualities integrate them in the society (Anthony, Wood and Holmes 2005). This theory effectively enables me to understand myself and how I get to evaluate myself based on how my roommates and their friends perceive me or respect my decisions. With this regard, I’m able to understand that I have a high self esteem. Cavallo et al (2012) hypothesized that people with high self-esteem have many emotional resources that permit them to pursue positive conflict resolution in spite of the risks involves. Conversely, individuals with low esteem are given to shun away despite the potential rewards. In any case, self-esteem serves as a key factor that allows individuals to manage conflicting goals, desires or objectives. Li and Weifang (2013) sum up the causes of conflict based on the perspective of individual differences in the mode, the possibility of the source and analysis of a range of reasons of conflict based on four variables: demand difference, goal differences, value differences and perceived differences of demands and goals. Sala (2012) pointed out that self-esteem is a major contributory factor to effective communication. When an individual is true to herself, it enables her to remember and recognize that she is equal to others. Based on my case scenario, an individual’s self-esteem may fluctuate based on how she regards her abilities, physical appearance, personal achievements and most importantly, the feedback we perceive from others (Sala, 2012). A low-self-esteemed individual within an organization or network of friends is therefore vulnerable to consciously or unconsciously engaging in comparison, approval-seeking, power games to regain equality. It can therefore be perceived that self-esteem play a contributory role in escalating conflicts with my roommates. Indeed, verbal or non-verbal communication can escalate conflict (Adejimola 2009). Sala (2012) places communication in this regard into three forms, including aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive. Aggressive communication denotes such actions as being directly confrontation in an effort to subdue the other party. Passive communication involves such actions that denote playing the victim, as a result sulking or remaining quiet. Passive-aggressive communication involves a mixture of passive and aggressive communication (Aula and Siira 2012). It is therefore clear that self-esteem and communication during conflict correlate. Conflict Management Conflict refers to the natural outcome of disagreement that results from individuals with varying objectives, desired outcomes, goals, viewpoints and structures of reference. Such tension generates a situation where roommates can stay together upfront by seeking resolutions through negotiations rather than through destructive battles (Rahim 2002). If left unattended to, tension or conflict can inflict unnecessary disunity and distrust through internal struggles. Conflict should therefore be managed. Conflict management revolves around the diagnosis and intervention to conflicts at intergroup, intragroup or interpersonal levels and the strategies used in handling these conflicts (Rahim 2002). Interpersonal conflict is expressed upon an incongruity between needs of individuals. Bercovitch (2011) points out that interpersonal conflict manifests over time and escalates into complex behavioural and attitudinal consequences. Typically, these may vary from psychosomatic consequences (such as emotional instability) to physical consequences (such as destructive behaviour). As seen in the case with the roommates, it is perceivable that personal existence is punctuated inescapably by conflicts along with emotionally-charged experiences such as self-esteem. Based on the situation with my roommates, the four approaches can be used. In the case scenario, I have conflicting interests with my three roommates, each from a different cultural background. They tend to make the room untidy and are reluctant to clean it up despite having many visitors come around. Because of this, I have even considered finding another apartment. This scenario can best be explained by Relational Dialectic Theory (DLT). Relational Dialectics Theory (DLT) hypothesizes that all relationships, whether friendly or romantic, have some form of tensions and conflicts. According to the theory, within any form of relationship, the parties to the relationship will often value some form of independence. Three major relevant dialects to relationships include novelty and predictability, autonomy and connection, and lastly, openness and togetherness. These dialects are treated as being interactional, since the tensions or conflicts that result, originate from interaction (Baxter 2004). Conflict may thus be interpersonal. An interpersonal conflict refers to the clash between individuals, each of whom is unable to fulfil or embrace the expectations of the other. Conflict and tension happens when individuals engage in activities that are irreconcilable with those of the colleagues. The scope of conflict can further be broadened when conflict is depicted as an interactive process demonstrated in disagreement, incompatibility or discord. By referring to conflict as interactive means that is manifests when an individual interacts with others (Roche and Teague 2008). Conflicts have been viewed as impediment to social cohesiveness within an organization. Indeed, it has various implications. For instance, within an organization, conflicts have the potential to degrade organizational functioning as it can trigger accidents, resignation or absenteeism or debilitate the health and wellbeing of an individual (Meyer 2004). Based on this perspective, there is a need to sensibly and judiciously control conflicts, as since social interaction is in itself a negative force. The basis for this argument is that human beings are not capable of getting embroiled in conflict or social interaction with a possibility of destructive consequences (Bush & Folger 2005: 247). To seek the best conflict management approach that best fits the scenario. It is critical to understand the elements that underlie the conflict. There appears to be a continuum of interactional, intrapsychic, physiological and group-related variable precipitating the conflict. It would however be best to focus on one or all of the four (Kellerman 1996). As seen in the case scenario, multiple sources of collision with the roommates were revealed. Conflict management is therefore a technique of conflict control before, after or in the course of the conflict. Since conflicts are aspects of human consciousness, they can therefore not be avoided whether at home or within an organization (Bercovitch 2011). Today, the complexities of conflicts have continued to increase as organizations or institutions becomes more globalised and diverse. Therefore, to interact with others is to be in conflict, and to coexist requires conflict management. In particular, organizations or institutions have become inclined to adopting proactive strategic approaches in managing conflicts. Theories and dimensions of managing conflicts Based on the correlation of self-esteem and communication in conflict, two approaches of conflict management can be suggested. These include the mediation competency model and the dual concern model. Rahim (2002) suggested that two dimensions can be applied in conflict management. The two include disagreements that relate to effective issues and disagreements that relate to substantive issues. The effective dimension refers to such issues typically caused by negative reactions of individuals within a system or a social network. These may include issues such as racial disharmony in multicultural settings, personal attacks by other individuals or sexual harassment. On the other hand, substantive dimension comprises the disagreements that relate to tasks, policies or any other system established by an institution or an organization (Roche and Teague 2008). The emotional approach attempts to resolve conflicts by encouraging individuals to unburden their pent-up angers built up over time. This approach uses the frustration-aggression theory (Berkowitz 1989). According to this theory, any interference or frustration with an individual’s goal-directed activities trigger her to communicate aggressively, whether reactive or innate, must in a way find expression. Therefore, the best method to avoid the aggression is to let it out through some form of expression. Group therapy could indeed be a suitable option for this approach, since it serves as a kind of laboratory that could allow my roommates and I to express our angers. The frustration-aggression theory hypothesizes that participants in the group therapy should express their angers honestly and directly, rather than with tact and restraint Conclusion It can therefore be concluded that conflict management and self-esteem correlate, since self-esteem is an integral element for effective communication in a bid to manage conflict. Both conflict and self-esteem are unavoidable elements of living since they are related to power relations, division of functions of differentiation of roles. Interpersonal conflict is expressed upon an incongruity between needs of individuals. It manifests over time and escalates into complex behavioural and attitudinal consequences. Typically, these may vary from psychosomatic consequences (such as emotional instability) to physical consequences (such as destructive behaviour). As seen in the case with the roommates, it is perceivable that personal existence is punctuated inescapably by conflicts along with emotionally-charged experiences such as self-esteem. Based on the situation with my roommates, the four approaches can be used. Under these circumstances, two conflict management approaches can be suggested. These include behavioural strategies and cognitive strategies. Cognitive strategies signify efforts to manage or control disturbing or negative thoughts and feelings that are associated with conflict and to permit an individual to pursue normal activities. Cognitive strategies include efforts aimed at pushing conflict out of existence (repression) or denial of reality. Behavioural approaches aim at enabling an individual to cope with intrapersonal conflict through aggression and withdrawal. Based on the circumstances faced with my roommates, cognitive strategy would be effective as it can be effective in the short-run thus enabling me and the roommates to restore a positive relationship. Further, it can enable us to minimise high levels of anxiety as well as diminish the tensions in the room. It can also prevent any possibility of disruptive behaviour and avert further conflict. The key strength of this approach is that it enables an individual to focus on her situation and means to assess alternatives that may have been overlooked. References Adejimola, AS 2009,"Language and communication in conflict resolution," Journal of Law and Conflict Resolution, Vol. 1 No.1, pp.001-009 Anthony, D, Wood, J & Holmes, J 2007, "Testing sociometer theory: Self-esteem and the importance of acceptance for social decision-making," Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Vol 43,pp425–432 Aula, P & Siira, K 2012, "Organizational Communication and Conflict Management Systems: A Social Complexity Approach," Nordicom Review, Vol. 31 No. 1, pp. 125-141 Baxter, L 2004, "A Tale of Two Voices: Relational Dialectics Theory," The Journal Of Family Communication, 4(3&4), 181–192 Bercovitch, J 2011, Conflict and Conflict Management in Organizations: A Framework for Analysis, viewed 5 Sept 2013, http://www.aspheramedia.com/v2/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/5000214.pdf Cavallo, Justin V., John G. Holmes, Grainne M. Fitzsimons, Sandra L. Murray, and Joanne V. Wood. Managing motivational conflict: How self-esteem and executive resources influence self-regulatory responses to risk. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 103.3 (2012): 430-51. Viewed 5 Sept 2013 http://uwspace.uwaterloo.ca/bitstream/10012/5295/1/Cavallo_Justin.pdf Kellerman, PF 1996, Interpersonal Conflict Management In Group Psychotherapy: An Integrative Perspective, Sage Publications: London Rahim, AM 2002, "Towards a Theory of Managing Organizational Conflict," The International Journal of Conflict Management, Vol. 13 No.3, pp.206-235 Roche, W & Teague, P 2008, Do Conflict Management Systems Matter?, Queen’s University: Belfast Sala, M 2012, What Happens When We Argue Part Iv: Self-Esteem And Clear Communication, viewed 5 Sept 2013, http://choiceconflictresolution.wordpress.com/tag/self-esteem-and-conflict-resolution/ Read More

Conceptualizing self-esteem in interpersonal relationships Self-esteem refers to how individuals assess themselves favorably. Based on the case scenario, I'm particularly concerned about my self-esteem. For instance, I desire that the roommates respect my desire to see the room clean. I'm also concerned about how their friends should perceive me. This scenario can best be understood using the Sociometer theory. Sociometer theory hypothesises that people are greatly motivated to protect their self-esteem and to augment it through their actions and thoughts.

According to the theory, people will often be concerned with their self-esteem and will evaluate themselves on how socially acceptable they are and how these qualities integrate them in the society (Anthony, Wood and Holmes 2005). This theory effectively enables me to understand myself and how I get to evaluate myself based on how my roommates and their friends perceive me or respect my decisions. With this regard, I’m able to understand that I have a high self esteem. Cavallo et al (2012) hypothesized that people with high self-esteem have many emotional resources that permit them to pursue positive conflict resolution in spite of the risks involves.

Conversely, individuals with low esteem are given to shun away despite the potential rewards. In any case, self-esteem serves as a key factor that allows individuals to manage conflicting goals, desires or objectives. Li and Weifang (2013) sum up the causes of conflict based on the perspective of individual differences in the mode, the possibility of the source and analysis of a range of reasons of conflict based on four variables: demand difference, goal differences, value differences and perceived differences of demands and goals.

Sala (2012) pointed out that self-esteem is a major contributory factor to effective communication. When an individual is true to herself, it enables her to remember and recognize that she is equal to others. Based on my case scenario, an individual’s self-esteem may fluctuate based on how she regards her abilities, physical appearance, personal achievements and most importantly, the feedback we perceive from others (Sala, 2012). A low-self-esteemed individual within an organization or network of friends is therefore vulnerable to consciously or unconsciously engaging in comparison, approval-seeking, power games to regain equality.

It can therefore be perceived that self-esteem play a contributory role in escalating conflicts with my roommates. Indeed, verbal or non-verbal communication can escalate conflict (Adejimola 2009). Sala (2012) places communication in this regard into three forms, including aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive. Aggressive communication denotes such actions as being directly confrontation in an effort to subdue the other party. Passive communication involves such actions that denote playing the victim, as a result sulking or remaining quiet.

Passive-aggressive communication involves a mixture of passive and aggressive communication (Aula and Siira 2012). It is therefore clear that self-esteem and communication during conflict correlate. Conflict Management Conflict refers to the natural outcome of disagreement that results from individuals with varying objectives, desired outcomes, goals, viewpoints and structures of reference. Such tension generates a situation where roommates can stay together upfront by seeking resolutions through negotiations rather than through destructive battles (Rahim 2002).

If left unattended to, tension or conflict can inflict unnecessary disunity and distrust through internal struggles. Conflict should therefore be managed. Conflict management revolves around the diagnosis and intervention to conflicts at intergroup, intragroup or interpersonal levels and the strategies used in handling these conflicts (Rahim 2002). Interpersonal conflict is expressed upon an incongruity between needs of individuals. Bercovitch (2011) points out that interpersonal conflict manifests over time and escalates into complex behavioural and attitudinal consequences.

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