Family and Relationship Counseling Issue - Essay Example

Family & Relationship Counseling, Ass 2 Institution Tutor Date Family & Relationship Counseling, Ass 2 Introduction The purpose of this essay is to critique the counseling session I did and discuss the issues raised during the session. In this essay, I will describe the counseling style that I used, the counseling skills that I used as well as the positive aspects of my counseling session and the area of skills that I need further improvement. Through discussing this counseling session in detail, I will identify the specific skills and technique that a counselor can utilize within different situations of clients in order to encourage the clients to take positive actions by themselves. The counseling session consisted took approximately 22 minutes of counseling with my clients. Before embarking on my reflection, I will give a brief description of my clients. My clients were Sarah and Dan who separately recently after a 15 year old marriage. They have two sons aged 12 and 10 years. For the last two years Sarah has not been happy with their marriage and suggested they try counseling. Dan was not for the idea since according to him; there was nothing wrong with their relationship. This followed Sarah leaving their home to reduce the upset for their sons and then Dan realized that Sarah was serious. According to Dan, he understands that this is Sarah’s matter but does not understand why she wanted separation because he believes they can work it out together. He is currently living with his mother and he does not like the idea. His mother suggests that Sarah is not his perfect wife and encourages Dan to stay with him as long as he wants. Basically, during the entire session, I focused on micro skills rather than therapeutic skills because in believe that micro skills are more important in counseling skills. The micro skills like questioning, minimal encouragement, empathy, paraphrasing, voice, observation, body language, reflection and such are extremely important during a counseling session (Farah, 1995). At the beginning of the counseling session with my clients Sarah and Dan, I started working towards building a stronger rapport with them by greeting them and asking them how they are faring on. While greeting them, I addressed them by their names, which according to Daniel (2012) is important in making clients feel comfortable and accepted. I also introduced myself which can help in breaking down the equality barriers. Additionally, introducing myself was one way of being polite to my clients and showing them that I respected them and this can help in building rapport with the clients as well as building trust with them (Janice, 2012). With this, I felt that I had made a connection with them. After greeting them, I started the session by introducing the topic of the session and asking them how they felt about the last session and this was to establish if the counseling was going to be helpful to them. My opening sentence was emphatic which illustrated my self confidence and is also important for a counselor in that it shows that one has the strength to offer the required support an it is also a positive message about my professionalism as a counselor (Strupp, 1994). They were seated facing me and my posture demonstrated that I was ready to listen to them. However, regarding the question on how they felt about our last session, at this moment, I feel that I did not give equal time since during this time it is only Dan who talked while Sarah only intercepted when Dan said that the children were fine and Sarah did not agree with this. This is the part that I should improve on during my next counseling session to ensure that all counseling participants contribute equally. In addition, I asked the clients to face each other and talk to each other. This was meant to ease the tension between them (Daniel, 2012). During the entire counseling session I maintained eye contact with them and this is very important in that it shows the clients that the counselor is listening to them, helps one understand the problems of the clients better and also motivates the clients to share all that they need to share (Bentler, 2000). I tried to ask open ended questions as much as possible, like when I asked them if they thought that the tension between them was being caused by his family origin and such. Asking open ended questions is important during counseling because it promotes free flow of information from the client and one understands the problem better since the information is detailed and also builds rapport with the client. This is the reason during the entire session; my clients were giving detailed answers to my questions instead of “NO” and “YES” answers. However, there are some instances where I found myself asking closed ended questions, which is something I should work on. For instance, I asked Sarah how she felt about Dan’s opinion. Sarah’s answer was somehow defensive where she accused Dan of always trying to seem superior regarding any issue. ‘Why’ and ‘How’ questions tend to put the client in a defensive opposition position (Walmpold, 2001). Apart from the few closed questions I asked them, I kept my other questions open from the beginning which kept me in the mind set to continue asking open ended question during the entire session. Some of the questions I asked were too long and could have been shorter for a stronger question. To enhance my open ended skills, I need to take the same questions and reword them as shorter open ended questions. Additionally, I realized that I interrupted my clients several times, especially Dan and this is also something I need to work on. The interruption was not intentional but because it took place more than once, this is something I will keep in mind and work on during the next counseling sessions with my clients. Generally, interrupting a client when he/she is talking can make the client nervous leading to the stoppage of information flow, can make a client feel intimidated and lose confidence in him/herself and the client can also have a problem in communicating with me as the counselor in future (Daniel, 2012). Therefore, this is something I should rectify in my future counseling sessions. Probably the reason I found myself interrupting Dan and at times being hard on him is due to my protective nature regarding children’s welfare. I somehow felt that Dan could have done something to prevent Sarah from leaving the children alone and creating a good environment for the children. Generally, if the counselor has faced has experienced his/her own pain, then he/she can be in a position to make the reflective statement which is utilized in educating the clients who are not aware of their emotions and thus this is a central skill in counseling (Bernes, 2005). There were times during the counseling session that Sarah seemed to be completely closed off. She would have her leg crossed but was still ready to talk about her issues. Therefore, although her body language was somehow negative, I managed continuing to get helpful information to help her. Towards the end of the session I worked on trying to relax her to focus on our discussion by asking them to face each other once again and speak on how they feel about their relationship (Bentler, 2000). This worked since Sarah was able to talk freely about her feeling on their relationship. This helped in them restating her current goals regarding their relationship. Still, during the session there were times when both Sarah and Dan ran out emotions and spoke ill of each other. For instance, Sarah accused Dan of always thinking of himself while Dan accused Sarah of not being in a position to match his mother who according to him is perfect especially regarding tidiness. Such points are important since as a counselor I was able to decipher the cause of their differences and thus put me in a better position to give them counseling. During the session there were times when I advised them regarding their relationship for example the importance of being in the same page as partners and parents. Basically, this is not very advisable because advising a client during a counseling session can affect his/her self confidence negatively, can impact his/her decision making power adversely and can also create a feeling of dependency in a client (Bernes, 2005). During this role-playing counseling, I was generally active and asked my clients several questions. I came out as a confident and sure of myself as a counselor. I also seemed to have a good understanding of where the clients were coming from with their issues at hand. These are several areas that I feel are my strong points. As a counselor in training I feel that I built a strong rapport with both Sarah and Dan. Additionally, I feel that I managed to follow the conversation effectively with active listening. While sitting with my clients, I kept my body posture in mind and tried to maintain it as open and welcoming as possible. Even though I was somehow nervous, I tried focusing my nervous feeling into positive energy to assist me to continue with the conversations with my clients. This shows that my body language was very good during the entire session which is very important. I also made my clients feel relaxed as much as possible and this can be demonstrated where I gave them a chance to talk freely save for a few interruptions on Dan. Basically, creating a relaxed environment makes the client easy to talk and discuss his/her problem, gives the client confidence in the counselor as well as in self, encourages the client to give any information that otherwise he may not give and also sharing of difficult experience turns to be easy for the client (Evans, 1998). Perhaps this is the reason why both Sarah and Dan voluntarily gave information regarding their relationship. Other additional strengths during my counseling includes how I phrased my questions to the clients, turning the tables around on clients when they made statements, reviewing the previous session which indicated good active skills, having good non-verbal communication skills, welcoming the client in a positive way and coming across as a truly friendly and caring person. The clients still have issues that could go either way. All these aspects are important in making the client comfortable, motivated and confident as well (Farah, 1995). Nonetheless, regarding improvement on my counseling skills, my opinion is that during the next counseling sessions with my clients things will begin looking better for their relationship and also for improving my counseling skills. I now know the new areas of my counseling styles that should be improved. Some of areas that need improvement include avoiding using close ended questions and completely avoid interrupting or advising the clients. Finally, I think after greeting my clients just before starting the session I should complement them in one way or the other. Complementing them make a person feel good and therefore can assist in breaking barrier of shyness and lack of enthusiasm for the client, indicates that one cares and is taking notice of the client and also creates a friendly and easy to talk atmosphere. References Bernes, K. (2005). The Elements of Effective Counselling. , Alberta: Lethbridge. Bentler, L. (2000). David and Goliath: When empirical and clinical standards of practice meet. American Psychologist, Vol. 55, 997-1009. Walmpold, B. E. (2001). The great psychotherapy debate – models, methods and findings. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Evans, N. (1998). Student Development In College. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. Daniel, K. ( 2012). Effective Counseling Skills. MSW College of Mental Health Counseling. David , S. (2000). Western Models of Counseling and Psychotherapy within Turkey: Crossing Cultural Boundaries, The Counseling Psychologist, Vol. 28: 281-298. Farah, I. (1995). Effective Cross-Cultural Counseling and Psychotherapy. The Counseling Psychologist. Vol. 13/4. Janice, Y. (2012). Balancing Multicultural Competence With Social Justice: Feminist Beliefs and Optimal Psychological Functioning . The Counseling Psychologist. Vol. 40: 1101-1132 Strupp, H. (1994). Differences in the effectiveness of psychodynamic therapists: A process- outcome study. Psychotherapy. Vol. 31, 114-123. Tracey, T. (2012). Counseling Psychology. Journal of Counseling Psychology. Vol. 5/73. Wilkins, W. (2004). Psychotherapy: The powerful placebo. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. Vol. 52/570-573. . Read More

At the beginning of the counseling session with my clients Sarah and Dan, I started working towards building a stronger rapport with them by greeting them and asking them how they are faring on. While greeting them, I addressed them by their names, which according to Daniel (2012) is important in making clients feel comfortable and accepted. I also introduced myself which can help in breaking down the equality barriers. Additionally, introducing myself was one way of being polite to my clients and showing them that I respected them and this can help in building rapport with the clients as well as building trust with them (Janice, 2012).

With this, I felt that I had made a connection with them. After greeting them, I started the session by introducing the topic of the session and asking them how they felt about the last session and this was to establish if the counseling was going to be helpful to them. My opening sentence was emphatic which illustrated my self confidence and is also important for a counselor in that it shows that one has the strength to offer the required support an it is also a positive message about my professionalism as a counselor (Strupp, 1994).

They were seated facing me and my posture demonstrated that I was ready to listen to them. However, regarding the question on how they felt about our last session, at this moment, I feel that I did not give equal time since during this time it is only Dan who talked while Sarah only intercepted when Dan said that the children were fine and Sarah did not agree with this. This is the part that I should improve on during my next counseling session to ensure that all counseling participants contribute equally.

In addition, I asked the clients to face each other and talk to each other. This was meant to ease the tension between them (Daniel, 2012). During the entire counseling session I maintained eye contact with them and this is very important in that it shows the clients that the counselor is listening to them, helps one understand the problems of the clients better and also motivates the clients to share all that they need to share (Bentler, 2000). I tried to ask open ended questions as much as possible, like when I asked them if they thought that the tension between them was being caused by his family origin and such.

Asking open ended questions is important during counseling because it promotes free flow of information from the client and one understands the problem better since the information is detailed and also builds rapport with the client. This is the reason during the entire session; my clients were giving detailed answers to my questions instead of “NO” and “YES” answers. However, there are some instances where I found myself asking closed ended questions, which is something I should work on.

For instance, I asked Sarah how she felt about Dan’s opinion. Sarah’s answer was somehow defensive where she accused Dan of always trying to seem superior regarding any issue. ‘Why’ and ‘How’ questions tend to put the client in a defensive opposition position (Walmpold, 2001). Apart from the few closed questions I asked them, I kept my other questions open from the beginning which kept me in the mind set to continue asking open ended question during the entire session. Some of the questions I asked were too long and could have been shorter for a stronger question.

To enhance my open ended skills, I need to take the same questions and reword them as shorter open ended questions. Additionally, I realized that I interrupted my clients several times, especially Dan and this is also something I need to work on. The interruption was not intentional but because it took place more than once, this is something I will keep in mind and work on during the next counseling sessions with my clients. Generally, interrupting a client when he/she is talking can make the client nervous leading to the stoppage of information flow, can make a client feel intimidated and lose confidence in him/herself and the client can also have a problem in communicating with me as the counselor in future (Daniel, 2012).

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