Crisis Supports for Adult Survivors - Term Paper Example

Crisis Supports for Adult Survivors Abstract The death of a mother or father affects every individual deeply whether young or old regardless of the developmental stage. Loss of a parent has been stated as one of the worst emotional experiences in one`s life. It is usually natural for one to be overwhelmed with the feelings of fear, pain and a deep level of sadness since a parent plays a significant role in one`s life. The form of grief one takes following a loss of a parent is dependent on various factors including the type of relationship they had with the parent, the gender, age at the time of loss, one`s religious beliefs, any previous experience of death as well as whether they believe it was the time of the parent to die. [Kat18]When one loses a parent, they also lose a lifelong friend and companion as well as a counselor and adviser. After the initial grief following the death, secondary loss sets in whereby one may be very remorseful during any event which they think the parent would have been part of. Events like weddings, advancements in career as well as watching one`s children grow to revive the grief. In cases where the individual is old, the loss of a parent may make them start thinking of their mortality. Introduction It has been found that following every suicidal death, approximately six people undergo a period of intense grief. When one loses a parent through suicide, it can be very difficult to deal with it emotionally. Some of the reasons that make the grieving process more complicated are the societal perceptions of suicide as it associated with shame, rejection, guilt as well as stigmatization. The stigmatization associated with suicide in various communities makes the bereaved family more isolated and vulnerable. Grief is the normal response of any individual after experiencing any loss especially the loss of a close family member. When an individual dies through suicide, the people who were close to them undergo a complicated form of stress which is a combination of many factors like shock, numbness and denial, feelings of guilt, stigma and shame, loneliness and disconnection, depression, trying to find reasons as to why it happened as well as themselves contemplating suicide.[Aik] The mixture of emotions approaches to management complicated both to the individual experiencing it as well as the people trying to help. Grief is universally a big social problem which every individual experience at any point in their lifetime. The feeling of grief is very hurtfully disrupting, and the effects can be extensive in other instances as the effects of grief can be damaging at times. In childhood, grief is normally associated with behavior and sleep disturbances, reduced interest in school, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. In adolescents, grief is associated with chronic illnesses, guilt, disruption of self-esteem, depression, difficulty in relationships and school. Adults respond to loss through an expression of anger, shock, anxiety, guilt, sadness, apathy, substance abuse, social withdrawal, disturbances in appetite and sleep. [Nit16]Following recent studies, it’s been suggested that stress should be identified as a social process and not just a private and internal event that an individual may have to deal with alone. Stages of grief Various factors have been found to influence the kind of grief an individual experience. If an individual had a difficult relationship with the deceased person, his form of grief would be different from an individual who was close to them. In other cases, when an individual succumbs to a long-time illness, the form of grief experienced is different compared to when the death is sudden or as a case of suicide. While grieving, a person may go through different emotional states.[Geo13] Shock and numbness are some of the first emotional reactions when one receives the news. In subsequent days when the individual notices how, the grieving has negatively affected their lives, the emotions begin to subside. The emotional feelings are later replaced with anger, uncertainty, denial, and feeling of loneliness. This stage may last over a long period as the emotions are intermittent.[Hai] The last phase of the grieving process is when the bereaved individual finds ways of coming into terms with the loss and that includes accepting the loss. (a) Disbelief, numbness, and shock Most of the times, when one learns of passing on of a close individual, the first reaction is usually shock, disbelief, and numbness. The phase may last for hours, days or even weeks depending on the nature of the individual or any measures taken to deal with the grief. During this period, the individual feels like they are `shut off` from the rest of the world and battling a lot of emotions within themselves. The numbness experienced by the individual can be interpreted as pangs of distress which are triggered by any reminders of the deceased person. The grieving person expresses a lot of anger associated with a lot of crying and feeling weak. Some other individuals may engage in aimless activities or appear preoccupied with their thoughts and mental images of the deceased individual. When the burial plans are being put in place, this phase is normally put into consideration to allow the family and close friends to grieve. The family and close relatives ought to be left alone during this time and minimize interactions with outsiders. (b) Dealing with the loss After a period the feelings of numbness, shock, and disbelief wear off, and the reality of the loss starts to sink. The new phase is also known as the phase of confrontation, and it is during this period that the loss is felt more intensely and most painfully. It is during this phase that the bereaved person faces the loss and realizes how the loss has affected their lives. The intense emotions felt are individualized as different people grieve differently. The feelings of distress are intermittent in most people, and the individual may appear disorganized, difficulties in thinking, memory and cognitive skills. The phase can last for several weeks or even extend to months. Unlike the first phase of shock, numbness, and disbelief when the individual doesn't need any help, during this second phase the individual needs a lot of moral support from close friends or even a professional psychologist. (c)The phase of accepting the loss In this phase, the individual has appreciated the impact of the loss on their day-to-day lives and have felt the grief quite enough. The acceptance phase usually occurs for about a month, and it majorly entails adjusting the way of life without the deceased person. It has been observed that this phase may take even a year to happen and for the individual to be able to live their lives comfortably without the deceased person being in their plans. The pain from the loss becomes less intense but its normal for one to feel emotionally connected with the deceased even for years. After a period, the individual regains the energy they had invested in the relationship with the individual to build other relationships. Management The individuals should take various actions to cope with the stress and continue being productive in the community. The first most effective step to take is to freely communicate how they feel about the loss openly and honestly and get support from a trusted source who will help them understand what happened, be able to cope with the grief and how to be able to live with the loss. Loss of an individual through suicide can have significant negative effects on the mental and physical health of those who were close to them. It is then important that great compassion and support is expressed to those bereaved to enable them to cope.[Ost] Despite the knowledge on the negative social consequences of grief, very little efforts have been invested in the empirical work to find out how effective supportive communication can be from social networks. Helping a bereaved person especially the manner of death being suicidal can be a challenge. The affected person is very vulnerable, and anything said or done by the person trying to help can easily aggravate the situation. The other challenge faced is because grief is a very personalized experience whereby no method of alleviating it can be standardized for all. With that, great caution is put into finding a suitable method for each bereaved individual.[Ran] There are certain principles which have been developed to help bereaved individuals and have proved to be effective if used effectively. The first step in helping an adult who has lost a parent to suicide is to reach out to them. Often, people tend to keep off a person who has been grieved for lack of better words for expressing their condolences and instead wait for the grieving person to call for assistance. While doing that, the grieving person could be dealing with so much emotionally to the extent that thinking of seeking help maybe not in their ideas. In most communities, mental health is associated with evil powers, and its concept is not well understood.[Bro16] On the other hand, the grieving person may also be hesitant about seeking help for fear of being labeled weak so as not to be able to deal with his challenges. Having a close friend or a family member to seek help from is of great help to the individual. The help offered to the grieving person should be more specific like telling them to ask out for assistance in the various activities they undertake if any challenge is encountered rather than giving them the general statement of calling you when they need help. [Ame16]A grieving person`s mind is very crowded and hence not able to think straight on what areas they specifically need help with. Some of the helpful tasks that can be done for them include cleaning the house, cooking for them as well as taking care of a pet as the grieving person may not be able to accomplish that. After the first step of reaching out, the next one would be discussing the loss without trying to minimize it. It can be a challenge trying to figure out the best words of encouragement to the bereaved person. Statements like `it was God`s plan,` `It was their time` could make the grieving worse instead of alleviating the stress as such statements are used to frame the loss to a tradition or trying to getting the big picture which may not of help to the bereaved individual. The statements reveal that one is trying to downplay the loss and discrediting the grief the bereaved person is experiencing. The best expressions to the bereaved person would focus on the condolences one has towards to loss like `I am sorry for your loss.` [Jes]The fact of being available to the bereaved person and providing a listening ear is a very significant factor when trying to help them. Instead of looking for the best words to offer to the individual, just sitting and listening to what they have to say is very vital. Most bereaved people who are grieving so much sometimes all they need is someone they can pour their overwhelming emotions to even when the listener doesn’t offer any help. When helping the person in grief, one should not be afraid of mentioning the lost person. Often, there is the tendency of not mentioning the name of the deceased person with the fear of making the grieving worse. Contrary to that perception, mentioning the name of the deceased helps the bereaved as it indicates that one appreciates the relationship they had with the deceased and that what just happened is significant. Acknowledgment of the loss is vital in the process of the healing. [Sey56]Mentioning the names is not only a sign of respect to the deceased person but also to the bereaved as it shows that one is not trying to make them feel child-like but that maintaining their normal relationship. When the above principles have been followed, it is also important to suggest seeking of professional help by the grieving person. When it is evident to friends and family that the grieving person is having a challenge processing the loss or the loss affecting the health of the bereaved person, it is important to recommend them to seek professional help. A trained psychiatrist or a medical doctor could be of great importance to the individual as other modalities of treatment including medications would be incorporated. Trained psychologists help individuals deal with grief by helping them build up their resilience as well as developing strategies that would help them get past the feelings of sadness.[Mic16] Evidence-based techniques especially psychotherapy is used by the psychologist in a bid to improve the lives of the individual. Among all the causes of stress in an individual, grief has been identified as an intense and lifelong stressor. Compared with other stressors, grief is unique as the loss experienced is permanent regardless of what one may want to do to alleviate the situation. Most of the other life stressors one experiences and upset their equilibrium are temporary and the individual lives with the hope of being free of that stressor one day and that makes it more bearable. On the other hand, grief can be present in one`s life forever as the bereaved experiences the loss daily with various triggers of life. It is a loss that cannot be regained. The bereaved individual has to go through all the stages of grieving and facing the loss in each of the stages.[Cle] The loss of a loved one and the absence of the individual for the rest of the life renders grief as one of the worst emotional experiences. Grief is associated with other physiological changes in an individual that occur to mediate the health effects linked to stress. When the bereaved is trying to deal with the loss, the body goes through changes to balance the hormonal changes and achieve homeostasis as grief disrupts the balance. It is during this process of the body trying to adapt to the changes that one becomes ill or even dies. The body wears itself out during the grieving process, and it is at the point of exhaustion that one falls sick. In another perspective, the process of grieving puts stress on one`s normal physiology as well as upsetting the immune system. As a result of this attempt to maintain the body at balance, the immune system is affected and exposing the body to several infections. The hormonal changes are marked by great influxes of corticosteroids as well as catecholamines which impair the immune system, digestive system as well as the circulatory system.[Min15] Almost every part of the body is affected and plays a role in the grieving process. Symptoms commonly associated with stress include indigestion, excessive sweating, skin rashes, chest pains as well as episodes of fainting. Not only does one become ill but also the chances or mortality are increased. Conclusion Mourning the loss of a parent through suicide can be the worst emotional experience which on the positive side can make one re-evaluate their purpose in life as well their direction. Following the loss, one may adopt a healthier lifestyle and end up living a more quality life. Loss is a natural part of life, but one can still be overcome with confusion and shock which lead to a long period of depression and sadness. The feelings of sadness diminish with the passage of time, but the grieving process is important in appreciating the good moments experienced with the deceased. People react differently to stress, and research has proved that most people can get over the grief on their own provided they get support from family and adopting healthy habits.[Ame17] There are no standard time limits for grieving, and most people do not go through the stages of grief progressively. Factors like the relationship with the deceased affect the grieving process as those who had a difficult relationship with the deceased take much longer time to heal and get back to their normal lives. Human beings are naturally resilient considering the amount of stress one undergoes daily and still be able to pull through life. People who struggle with grief for long periods of time need the help of a psychologist to deal with the complicated form of grief they are experiencing. References Kat18: , (Kathryn Patricelli, 2018), Aik: , (Aiken), Nit16: , (Johnson, 2016), Geo13: , (George S. Everl, 2013), Hai: , (Haig), Ost: , (Osterweis), Ran: , (Rando), Bro16: , (Brockoop, 2016), Ame16: , (Society, 2016), Jes: , (Jessica J. Rack), Sey56: , (Seyle, 1956), Mic16: , (Michael R. Leming, 2016), Cle: , (Cleiren), Min15: , (Porter, 2015), Ame17: , (Association, 2017), Read More