Relationship between an Older Brother and Sister - Essay Example

Relationship between an Older Brother and Sister Sibling relationships are dynamic and changes occur at every stage of growth right from infancy. Siblings play important role in specializing each other’s social, cognitive and emotional development. Most siblings experience conflict during the childhood years but as they grow up, these conflicts are resolved. Birth order has a profound and lasting effect on psychological development and personality. The dynamics among brothers and sisters are complex as well as diverse. This essay would discuss the role complex and role conflict in the growing relationship between an older brother and his sister. Studies suggest that the first-born child tends to be authoritative and lead the activity of the later-borns (J Rank, 2007). They are more prone to engage in positive and negative social behaviors. Hence, when boys are older than the sister, the same role complex would persist. The first-born is mostly hostile towards the younger sister and there are stories of how badly the younger sister ahs been treated. At the same time, the three year old sister gets an opportunity to explore new territory in the company of the older brother. Even at this age, the brother is protective towards the younger sister and starts acting as the leader or guide. At the same time, the older brother tends to bully the younger sister from early childhood. If the spacing between the two siblings is more, say five years or more, the older brother starts seeing himself as the father figure as they reach adolescence. The older brother also serves as the model for cultural and social behaviors. During infancy and early-childhood, boys, regardless of their birth-position are aggressive towards their siblings irrespective of the gender of the sibling (Aguilar, 2001). The younger sisters of antisocial boys or even non-aggressive older brothers are likely to have a higher number of problems such as academic and behavior problems, and smoking and using drugs. These sisters are at an increased risk for later social and psychological adjustment problems. According to Freud, a sister’s hostility to her older brother can lead to homosexual love objects by transformation of hate into love (Brown, 1998). In the older-brother younger sister role relationship incest is very common. This can have harmful effects on the sister’s adult life. These include lowered sexual self-esteem, fear of sexual assault, difficulties in sexual relationships, depression, guilt, and repeated victimization and suicide attempts (Laviola, 1989). Incest usually starts before the onset of puberty even before the sister is ten years old. Through his male assertive power that he acquires as the perceived role, the older brother uses incentives and bribery like money to coerce the younger sister to comply for his pleasures. Once the incest ends, the relationship becomes strained between the older brother and the younger sister. When the father of the family fails to deliver the perceived role of the head of the family, the older brother invariably assumes and performs this role. This becomes more pronounced when there are stressors in the family which include the father’s physical and emotional problems. This leads to role stress because the older brother is expected to play or assumes that he is expected to play several roles at the same time. Power play on the older brothers’ part leads the younger sisters to seek attention and in doing so, the age being tender, the younger sisters do not realize what they are inviting. Incest is always initiated by the older brother and younger sister succumbs to the attention given by the brother. She fears rejection and threats if she does not comply. Even when incest has not occurred between an older brother and younger sister, a connective love/dynamic power relationship exists (Joseph, 1994). The older brother considers it to be their right and responsibility to mold the younger sister and play the role of the father. The younger sisters want the involvement of the older brother intimately in their life and would resort to attention seeking tactics. During adolescence another difference between the perceived and performed roles appears. The older brother tries to assert the male power in the name of love. They try to impress that the love of a male could include violent behavior as well. The older brother experiences role conflict as he feels he is expected to serve as the father to the younger sister. Role conflict can be stressful for both the older brother and the sister. The sister too undergoes role relationship strain as she wants the authoritative expression from the brother and at the same time idolizes the older brother as the role model or a parent substitute. This can affect the adult selection of a mate. Role conflict can lead to deviance. The expectations of any given role can be thought of as the norms of the society or laws of the country (Wright, 2007). Violation could lead to punishment. Under these unwritten pressures when the older brother asserts himself, he undergoes stress. Older siblings serve as the role model particularly if the older sibling is a brother (Ardelt, 2002). An older brother appears as a great authoritative figure for younger sister. Older brothers help the younger sister to escape parental supervision by exposing them to his own deviant group and friends. Parents too, out of ignorance transfer the responsibility of the younger sister to the older brother. This is how the differences occur in the prescribed and the perceived roles among the older brothers in their attitude towards the younger sister. Besides, the older brother tends to undermine the capabilities of the younger sister. Uddenberg, Almgren & Nilsson (1970) found that girls with older brothers also demonstrate more masculine traits than girls with older sisters while Updegraff, McHale and Crouter (2000) found that girls with older brothers are more-sexed type or more feminine. This is consistent with the model that role relationships are established between the firstborn and the second-born pairs. They differentiate themselves from one another in an effort to establish their distinct roles in the family. Having an older brother makes the younger sister to select friends that are more inclined towards intimacy. This could be because girls with older brothers get more opportunity to interact with opposite sex peers. The older brother on the other hand chooses friends who are less focused on emotional intimacy. Thus, the role relationships are affected depending upon the sequence of birth as well as the difference in births between siblings. In the early childhood, the older brother assumes the role of the guide and teaches different activities to the younger sister. In early adolescence the older brother tends to assume the perceived role of the father towards the younger sister especially if the gap between the two is higher. This becomes more pronounced if the father of the family has not discharged his duties as the head of the family. This leads to role conflict as there is deviance of roles. Role conflicts invariably lead to role strain and role complex. The relationship between older brother and younger sister even becomes incestuous when the older brother through power play coerces the sister into it. If incest is experienced between the older brother and the younger sister, after incest stops, the relationship between the two become strained. Parental support is more towards the older brother, which again demonstrates the power play and the masculine power. The younger sister tends to have more masculine traits is she has an older brother and also mixes freely with opposite sex-peers. she also looks up to him as a role model but each individual relationship differs and undergoes role conflicts and role strain at different stages up to the age of twenty. References: Aguilar, B., et al., (2001), Relationship Quality of Aggressive Children and Their Siblings: A Multiinformant, Multimeasure Investigation, Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, Vol. 29, No. 6, December 2001, pp. 479–489 Ardelt, M., (2002), Parents,Siblings,and Peers: Close Social Relationships and Adolescent Deviance, Journal of Early Adolescence, Vol. 22 No. 3, August 2002 310-349 Brown, D., (1998), Fair Shares and Mutual Concern: The Role of Sibling Relationships, Group Analysis 1998; 31; 315 J Rank (2007), Sibling Relationships, 28 Sept 2007 Joseph, S., (1994), Brother/Sister Relationships: Connectivity, Love, and Power in the Reproduction of Patriarchy in Lebanon, American Ethnologist, Vol. 21, No. 1. (Feb., 1994), pp. 50-73. Laviola, M., (1989), Effects of Older Brother-Younger Sister Incest: A Review of Four Cases, Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 4, No. 3, 1989 Uddenberg, N., Almgren, P. E., & Nilsson, A., (1970), BIRTH ORDER AND SEX OF SIBLINGS: INFLUENCE ON PARENTAL IDENTI FI CAT1ON, Psychiatric Clinic, Lasarettet, Lund, Sweden, DOI: 1600-0047. 1971.tb02218 Updegraff, K. A., McHale, S. M., & Crouter, S. C., (2000), Adeolesents' sex-typed friendship experiences: Deos having a sister versus brother matter? Child Development, Nov/Dec 2000, Vol. 71, No. 6 pp. 1597-1610 Read More