Parent-Child Attachment - Essay Example

Parent Child Attachment Parent-Child Relationship Parent-child relationship refers to the connection, bond, and link that exist between the child and paternal parents. The bond nature of the relationship shapes the child’s cognitive, emotional, behavioral, social, and psychological growth and development (Yen & Yawkey, 2014). Parent-child relationship aims to nurture the connection that the parents can have in relation to their children (Sue, 2011). Nurtured connection is ideal in the upbringing of a secure, independent, and emphatic child (Fearon et al., 2010). Sensitive and emotionally upright parent-child relationship helps children to form a secure lifestyle, which aid in enhancing the child’s socio-emotional development and well-being (Healy, Sanders & Iyer, 2015). Children raised in secure parent-child relationships have the capability of responding to stress in a healthy manner and establish a meaningful relationship with their peers. Should a child miss to have a secure parent-child relationship, he or she becomes vulnerable to stress and less healthy (Carnes-Holt & Bratton, 2014). A parent’s age, experience, and self-confidence affect the quality of parent-child relationship. Based on relevant literature, mothers and fathers contribute equal roles in the relationship that enhances parent-child attachment and promotes child’s emotional or behavioral development (Fagan & Lee, 2010; Groh et al., 2012). Eight Principles of Parent-Child Relationship in Child Upbringing and Development There are eight principles that guide and determine the child parenting. All parents are equally important in developing a successful parent-child relationship. The first principle asserts that both the parents should prepare appropriately for pregnancy, childbirth, and upbringing (Berrick & Gilbert, 2008). Adequate preparation for pregnancy reduces stress and anxiety that could arise among the parents. The stress could pass to the unborn child and will shape and dictate the child’s emotional and behavioral growth. The ambient massage within this first principle is essential to parents in evaluating pregnancy care, childbirth decisions, and upbringing mechanisms. Properly planned for childbirth with a stronger bond between the parents signifies the best start to the parent-child connection (Nicholson & Parker, 2013). Both the parents must show equal love to the child to the will raise and enable the child grow emotionally upright (Carter, Briggs‐Gowan & Davis, 2004). The second principle affirms that both parents should take part in feeding their child directly or indirectly with love and respect. Breastfeeding is an ideal way of creating mother to child bond (Brown & Arnott, 2014). The father should be close to the mother as it determines the mother’s responsiveness towards her child. The aftermath of breastfeeding is promoting a high degree of maternal responsiveness, and it creates positive results. Father can bottle-feed the child to enhance his bond with the child. The third principle is responding to the child with sensitivity. The parents attach and express emotions in response to the child’s needs. Both the parents should take part in meeting their children’s needs. Emotions, which the parents attach and show in response to their children, dictate the emotions the child will express (Mesman, Oster & Camras, 2012). The next is to accord nurturing touch to the child. The principle indicates that children exposed to skin-to-skin attachment with both the parents grow with a stronger bond between the child and both parents. Both the parents should hold their children in their arms to boost their relationships (Zagel, Kadar, Jacobs & Glendinning, 2013). The fifth principle is ensuring safe sleep and engaging in nighttime parenting. Emotionally mature children sleep in the same room with the parents. Some of the children share the same bed with the parents during their early stages of development. The children integrate the parents’ emotions and reflect them in behavior during their development (McIntosh, Smyth & Kelaher, 2013). The sixth principle encourages the use of constant and loving care. Research reveals that secure parent-child bond depends on continuity of care by the parents (Fearon et al., 2010). The upbringing should incorporate the value instilling as this instills better behavioral habits in the children. The seventh principle asserts that parents should practice positive discipline towards the children. The parents should guide, redirect, and distract the children to model positive and constructive behavior (Devore, 2006). The parents monitor the children’s behaviors at each stage of development to ensure that the children grow morally and behaviorally upright. The final principle urges the parents to strive for equilibrium between their personal and family life. Both the parents should create and delegate a portion of the schedule to spend with their children. Research shows that parents spending most of the time with their children have a closer bond among themselves (Kuzmich, 2007). In addition, the parents spending minimum time with their children have a higher probability of having a weaker relationship between them and the children. The children brought up with good parenting relationship with both the parents tend to exhibit positive and healthy behavioral habits (Lerner, 2003). Attachment Theory Attachment theory is a psychological pattern that describes dynamics of extensive interpersonal relationships between humans (Obegi & Berant, 2009). The theory states that children have a tendency of seeking enduring emotional bond and closeness to another person and feel secure in the individual’s company. Attachment is the sense of connection with a particular person aiming to achieve a child’s safety, security, and protection. Bowlby John first proposed the attachment theory in 1969 (Fonagy, 2014). Attachment theory promotes attachment guides the children to seek closeness with a recognizable caregiver in cases of looming danger with the hope of getting protection and emotional support. The child grows and develops with the same feelings and mentality about the person through to adulthood (Lyddon & Sherry, 2001). Both the parents must spend time with the child to win his or her trust and confidence. The theory suggests that the quality of care provided to the child especially by sensitivity and responsiveness leads to a secure or insecure attachment. Good and quality care leads to secure attachment that molds and guides the child’s future and developmental behavior and emotions (Webb, 2001). Both fathers and mothers have a role to play that contributes positively towards the children’s behavioral and emotional development. Both should extend skin-to-skin touch with the child to earn the child’s trust. After gaining the child’s trust, the child will hence imitate the parent’s behaviors as he or she develops (Dalton, Frick & Kitzmann, 2006). The theory does not discriminate on the paternal role each parent should play; any of the parents can take up any role. The indiscrimination indicates that both the fathers and mothers are equally important in the development of the relationship between parent and child. Fathers and Mothers impacts on the Relationship between Parent and Child Parent-child relationship is not exclusive. Every parent incorporates attachment-minded techniques in child upbringing (Fidler, Bala & Saini, 2013). Research reveals that the quality of parent child bonding is a vital feature of child development, and the impacts persist in the child through to adulthood (Carnes-Holt & Bratton, 2014). Frequent hugs or touch on the shoulder triggers sensitive responsiveness that deepens as the child matures. The parents bond with the children is vital and lays an excellent platform for the parents to offer guidance to the children. The guidelines offered control the child’s behavioral practices as he or she grows and develops. Understandably, fathers contribute equally important role in shaping the behavior of their children during their development (Nelson et al., 2011). High level of parent involvement associate with high and positive levels of academic achievement. Academic performance excellence encompasses socio emotional competence (Kusterer, 2010). The excellence attributed to parental attachment indicates the significance of parental care to the child’s development. From the attachment theory, the children learn basic trust as a value. Trust acts as a basis for future emotional relationships. The value helps the child to have a positive relationship with peers, this in turn changes and control the child’s behavioral practices. The child tends to be rational in every step he or she makes and ensures he or she is safe and free from harm (Fielder, 2006). Parents should employ behavioral management mechanisms to their children aged three upwards. Research conducted reveals that children without proper behavior management mechanisms employed during childhood ages engage in violence and criminal acts (Peterson, Durfee & Coulter,2003). Shaping the child’s behavior involves the inputs from both the mother and father, as the child requires close monitor. Behavioral management becomes successful when the parents have a close relationship and bond with their parents (Graham, & Reynolds, 2013). Mothers and fathers offer their children an internal working model of social affiliation (Kirkpatrick, 2005). If a child experiences his or her parents’ security, warmth, and comfort, he or she exhibits a higher probability of portraying positive self-image. The child will also react positively to different scenarios faced in the course of development (Healy, Sanders & Iyer, 2015). Children treated to care responsiveness to their emotional needs grow maturely with a better capability of managing their feelings, emotions, and behavior. Parenting Styles Parenting style forms the core determinant of a child’s future emotional and behavioral outcome (Swinney, 2007). Parenting factors both the fathers and mothers as each has a unique contribution that will shape a child for the future. Each of the prevailing parenting styles makes it easier to predict and describe parent-child relationship. There exist four fundamental styles namely, authoritarian, permissive, authoritative and detached. The parents’ developmental background, education, and personality dictate the choice of parenting styles. Authoritarian parents are the firm parents in their set rules (Williams, Ciarrochi, and Heaven, 2012). They expect full obedience from the children without any forms of questioning. The child must comply with the family values, beliefs, and principles. The parents rely on physical punishment and withdrawal of affection as a means of correcting and disciplining the child thereby shaping the child’s behavior (Gershoff, 2002). The parenting style raises children who are often moody, ill tempered, fearful, and gloomy. The children tend to express lack of self-confidence throughout their development from child through to adulthood. In situations where parents withhold love as a means of punishment, the children grow as rebellious and unfriendly. Hence, the nature and manner of parent-child relationship contributes significantly to the child’s emotional and behavioral changes (Coon et al., 2010). The parenting involves both the mother and father since each has a unique contribution towards the satisfaction and completion of the style. In permissive parenting, the parents express little or no control over the children’s behavior. The children have no consistency in following the domestic rules set by the parents (Swinney, 2007). The children have the power to decide whether to follow the rules or not and to what extent. Even though the parents are responsive, they are not demanding. The parenting style gives the children the notion that they can go unpunished for any sought of unjustified behavior. The parenting style is not recommendable because it fails to positively mold and shape the child’s emotional and behavioral practices in the course of development (Gazelle & Rubin, 2010). The children grow and become disrespectful, disobedient, irresponsible, and rebellious. It is an insecure strategy of upbringing a child, as the children tend to lack guidelines to tame and control their behavior. Authoritative parenting involves the parents showing respect for the opinions and views of the children allowing the children to be dissimilar (Aldort, 2005). The parents accept and address the children’s questions and opinions concerning the set household rules and policies. Both the father and mother take part in setting the rules signifying the fundamental role each equally play in parenting. The parents are both responsive and authoritative (Shaffer & Kipp, 2010). The parents are rigid though they execute discipline on the children without withholding their love and affection. The children from this type of parenting style exhibit high self-esteem and are always inquisitive (Kerns & Stevens, 1996). The children also tend to be independent, assertive, social, and happy. The parenting style shapes and produces good and desirable emotional and behavioral qualities and values towards the development of the children. In disengaged parenting style, the parents are neither responsive not demanding. It is a direct contrast to the authoritative parenting style (Steinberg, 2010). The parents tend to be insensitive to their children’s desire for affection and discipline. The products of this kind of parenting tend to develop emotional, behavioral, and psychological difficulties. The fathers and mothers have a chance in determining the children’s future behavior, and emotions through parent-child relationship and the parenting style applied (Joussemet, Mageau & Koestner, 2014). Conclusion Parent-child relationship has a fundamental role in molding the child’s future emotional and behavioral characters (Kindsvatter & Desmond, 2013). Parent-child relationship is not exclusive as each parent has a fundamental and significant role to play in the child’s development. A good parenting style adopted translates in good and desirable emotional reactions and behaviors (Arnott & Brown, 2013). Both fathers and mothers have a task to play towards emotional and behavioral practices in the child’s development. The parents should evaluate and adopt a good parenting style that aims to shape and mold a child’s emotional and behavioral practices positively (Lewis and Rudolph, 2014). References Aldort, N. (2005). Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. Bothell, WA: Book Publishers Network. Arnott, B., & Brown, A. (2013). An Exploration of Parenting Behaviours and Attitudes during Early Infancy: Association with Maternal and Infant Characteristics. Infant & Child Development, 22(4), 349-361. doi:10.1002/icd.1794 Berrick, J. D., & Gilbert, N. (2008). Raising children: Emerging needs, modern risks, and social responses. 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Zagel, H., Kadar-Satat, G., Jacobs, M., & Glendinning, A. (2013). The Effects of Early Years Childcare on Child Emotional and Behavioral Difficulties in Lone And Co-Parent Family Situations. Journal of Social Policy, 42, 235-258. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/S0047279412000967 Read More