We Are Inherently Social Beings - Essay Example

People have to conform to what others expect, for example, during a job interview, while introducing themselves to fiancé’s or bride’s parents or just meeting new people, to be liked and accepted. As a social creature, I also seek recognition and acceptance, and thus, sometimes I also try to conform to what others expect.

The last event during which this thing happened was my classmate’s birthday party. We used to be good friends at school, but then he left the city. I have not seen him for quite a significant amount of time. Of course, we kept in touch, mostly via social networks; however, nothing can replace face-to-face communication. So, it is not a great surprise that the relationship has changed. Not so long ago he returned home, and we met. As his birthday was approaching, my classmate texted me and invited me to his birthday party, which surprised me a lot. I decided to go but at the same time, I worried about who would be there, whether my friend changed and a lot of other things.

When I came, I saw a lot of people I had never met before, and this fact confused me somehow even though I am quite an easy-going person. Frankly speaking, this fact even upset me a bit but I showed no sign of confusion. My concerns were not groundless as I started noticing the way my friend and others behaved. I do not mean they were drunk or something like that. The party was very loud, and it seemed that everyone just tries to shout down others. My friend noticed I felt out of place and told me he wanted me to keep it real for he had told his new friends about me and about how funny and easy-going I am. Therefore, in order not to upset my friend and not to disappoint his friends, I also tried to behave like they did. I made jokes, laughed at their jokes, which were sometimes not so funny, and kept the conversation with unknown people alive on topics that did not interest me at all. In other words, I conformed to what my friend expected in order not to upset him and spoil his birthday party, even though I did not like what I was doing at all and felt uncomfortable and felt a bit scrunched because of such pressure. Everyone seemed to like me, and my friend was happy, but I did not feel like meeting all of them anymore.

Conformity is not a pleasant experience, at least for me. I did not want to do what I was expected to but there was my personal need in it because I did not want to make my friend upset. There was a moment when I just wanted to leave without saying goodbye even to my friends but I thought it would be an egotistic deed so I stayed. Of course, at some point, I had fun as well but I had to make efforts to feel that way. In general, it was disturbing. I just wanted to talk to my friend and recall old memories but I saw it was impossible at that moment. From this experience, I got the understanding of the fact that very often a person is not a master of a situation he/she gets into, and that in many cases people depend on circumstances rather than influence them. Also, I have got the understanding that other people’s opinion is important to me even though getting acceptance and recognition can be disturbing and upsetting. For me, to conform means to yield to norms established by others. Of course, I could behave the way I felt at that very moment but that would spoil the impression and make others like me less or even dislike me. Perhaps, those were not the circumstances under which one should conform to expectations but, as I see it now, I could do nothing but yield.