The Difficulty of Choosing the Future - Essay Example

Choices The sun unbendingly sheds light onto the basketball court where varsity players are practicing. Nearby, daffodils are dancing and yielding fresh scent to give joy to a disconsolate heart. Students rush by to the near buildings of the school, walking hastily to make it to their classes while I sit complacently at one of the benches, waiting for the sun to come down. It was right at this place where I met him. The memory of the fresh innocent smile still gladdens me, and I could see that whenever I visit this place and see the young men playing. The bench where we used to sit has been broken, reminding me of the years that past and the distance between now and the time I first felt love. I was a senior high school when I first met Fitsum. He was playing basketball and I was studying at the bench. The ball went over the fence and hit me on the shoulder. Although I wasn’t hurt, I got irritated and when I turned my face towards the player who would retrieve the ball, I made sure he knew I wasn’t OK. But when our eyes met, the anger flushed out quickly. His eyes expressed how sorry he was for having hurt me. I looked away to dismiss him as he said sorry. After the game, Firsum approached me at the bench and said sorry again. I tried to avoid him but he asked too many questions. He was very amiable and claimed to know some of my friends. He even said he has gone to our place and he knew a lot of my neighbors. I didn’t believe him, of course. One couldn’t be that friendly and popular, I thought. We ended up eating out at a pizza parlour next to the school. He was very handsome and many girls looked at him and tried to call his attention but he never paid interest in them. Several months passed and we’ve been together for three months. It was graduation day and Fitsum was neatly dressed. He waved at me with a bright smile as he held his diploma. It’s been seven months since we’ve first met. Days passed without my knowledge because we were so in love. Fitsum seemed to be the ideal man, the best I could ever have. He introduced me to his parents on the day of graduation. They shared the charismatic smile that Fitsum had on the first day we met. They were a lovely couple. Mom had known Fitsum all along as he usually hanged out at our house every weekend. However, like other love stories, we needed to put an end to a chapter in order to continue with life. The graduation day marked the day of our parting but we promised to communicate as often as we could. Fitsum took up Mechanical Engineering at the University of Pennsylvania while I decided to take up Business Administration at the University of Delaware. The distance between us was never an issue because we always found time to communicate with each other. My friends knew him well as he always escorted me in school activities. Fitsum, as they said, was an ideal guy. I felt proud whenever I heard this comment. Fitsum was still a varsity player in college. Every girl in school adored him and it sometimes felt awkward for me to see girls flirting with him while he tried to get rid of them. The first two years of college life was quite simple. Adjustments were necessary but they were all part of life. Fitsum continued to be popular in his school while I got busy with my studies. Taking up major subjects was quite difficult. As days went by, I felt there was a growing distance between us. Fitsum seemed to be the same but things around us have changed. He became extremely popular There came a time when I got tired of his popularity and so avoided watching his games. I could feel the pressure as girls looked at me when they saw us together so I would see him after the game and that was how we celebrated. Things got more complicated as he wanted me to watch all his games, saying I was his inspiration. I made alibis every now and then, which made him feel like I was not interested in what he did. He reacted the same way towards me by never showing up when I invited him to our school activities. I ran for the council and won as Vice President without his presence. My friends asked why they did not see Fitsum anymore and I told them he was too busy with his games. Deep inside, I was hurting and could feel the end of our relationship. Two weeks passed after the elections and I have not seen Fitsum. I missed him so much but did not know what to do. Alas, I decided to come to his game and learned that he had an injury. I took strength to visit him at home the next morning only to find out that they were moving to Hawaii. To my surprise, he did not want to inform me because he said he did not want to break my heart. I was flustered and felt it was unfair for him not to tell me about his plans so I broke up with him right away. Fitsum tried to contact me several times. He also sent me mails but I never wrote back. In fact, I didn’t read two of his letters. I put them straight to the bin after realizing it was from him. I was deeply hurt by what he did. After some time, I realised I still loved him but Rocky, a common friend said he’d already got a new girlfriend. Picking up the pieces of my heart, I tried to befriend other guys and went out with some but his memories always struck me whenever I went to similar places we’ve been to. Everything, even the street lights reminded me of him. It was very difficult to move on because the pain was too deep. I cried every night for him but was so afraid to confront my feelings. Later, after two years, I sent him a birthday card but there was no reply. I did it again in the next year and in succeeding years but still there was no reply. I was stuck with him for almost six years and maybe until now. “Mom, are you OK?” I heard Kirsten as he held my arm. “Yes, darling. Just remembered something. Shall we go now?” I replied, still feeling flustered. I walked with him towards the gate, still remembering the steps to the nearest pizza parlour where Fitsum and I ate the first time we dated. Kirsten, my son, didn’t have any clue on what I was thinking that time. Strange feelings filled me and I didn’t know how long I could live with them but I knew I had to make the right choices this time. Read More