Infidelity and Divorce - Research Paper Example

Running Head: Psychology Working with Infidelity and Divorce Issues: A Great Challenge to Therapists SubmissionConnected to this assumption that total honesty is vital for an intimate relationship is the truism in the field of couples’ therapy that discovery or confession of an affair is an inexcusable conduct for individuals in marital therapy who think about saving the marriage. Specialists in infidelity and divorce issues may have varying insights about how much should be revealed, but majority of them claim that it is imperative for the person who had the affair to inform the spouse and to disclose the facts (Olmstead, Blick, & Mills, 2009).

This common guideline does not consider the empirical findings that for women specifically, confessing an affair could have permanent implications, such as divorce and other grave attempts of retribution, like brutality and murder. An outcome of this principle is the idea that it is unhelpful to the therapy, and even unprincipled, for a therapist to keep a truth undisclosed. The traditional model of therapy has been that if a partner disclosed an affair in individual sitting, the therapist should persuade the partner to reveal the secret in a conjoint sitting, and then s/he should aid the couple in dealing with the outcome of this episode (Bernstein, 2007).

The assumption here is that intimate relationship is expected to surface from the revelation and from dealing with the trauma (Olmstead et al., 2009). If a person declines to abide by the recommendation of the therapist, the expert response is for the therapist to pull out from the course and recommend the couple to individual counselors (Bernstein, 2007). Nevertheless, this rule appears unsound. Above all, the rule does not value freewill. Furthermore, if the person refuses to comply with the treatment of the therapist, the couple is abruptly abandoned with nobody to give a binding foundation for the relationship just when the couple requires it most.

This principle is founded on family therapy’s development, in which triangulation has been perceived as an immense threat, evidently making the therapist incompetent (Milner & Singleton, 2008). However, an inflexible attitude about discretion or secrecy is a much greater threat compared to triangulation. The principle of disclosure incapacitates the therapist, not capable of exercising discretion in perhaps one of the most crucial events in the relationship of the couple. Working with infidelity and divorce cases obliges the therapist to deal with the problem with a flexible attitude and a broad understanding.

The therapist should also be capable of coping with numerous uncertainties. The role of the therapist is certainly subtle because each individual has a quite distinctive point of view, and both should be completely acknowledged, understood, and valued. It is the mission of the therapist to regulate the stances of both partners, specifically in relation to the pain and harm that an affair can bring about. However, it is this twofold stance of the therapist, that is, with sympathy for the serious implication that an affair may have for a spouse, and sympathy for the longing of the partner with the affair, that will create the needed binding foundation for the couple in this crucial period in their relationship.

ReferencesAviram, R. & Spitz, H. (2003). “Substance abuse couple therapy: clinical considerations and relational themes” Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 14(3), 1-18.Bernstein, A. (2007). “Re-visioning, restructuring, and reconciliation: Clinical practice with complex postdivorce families” Family Process, 46(1), 67-78.Milner, J. & Singleton, T. (2008). “Domestic violence: Solution-focused practice with men and women who are violent” Journal of Family Therapy, 30(1), 29-53.Olmstead, S.B., Blick, R.W., & Mills, L.I. III. (2009). “Helping couples work toward the forgiveness of marital infidelity.

Therapists’ perspectives” The American Journal of Family Therapy, 37(1), 48-66.