Too Much of a Good Thing by Dr. Daniel Kindlon - Article Example

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING SYNOPSIS OF THE BOOK This extraordinary work d as, ‘Too much of a good thing’ was written by Dr. Daniel Kindlon, clinical and research psychologist specializing in the behavioural problems of children and adolescents. In this book, he has clearly depicted how the children of our age possess alarmingly high levels of depression, anxiety, body image problems, and weak character. According to him, parents in the intensions of making their children happy, they actually give way for them to increase their depression. By being indulgent towards their children they are actually spoiling their future. In the name of protecting their children, parents actually drag them away from facing challenges and fighting against failures. This really shatters their growth and strength and finally they loose their mental stability at times of depression. He says that many of them blame their parents for being too protective, and just because of this they loose all the chances of meeting new and varied challenges. In this way, the book also examines children’s attitude towards their parents. "What we want for our children is a perfect life devoid of hardship and pain," Kindlon states. "But their happiness as adults is largely dependent on the tools we give them, tools that will allow them to develop emotional maturity-to be honest with themselves, to be empathetic, to take initiative, to delay gratification, to learn from failure and move on, to accept their flaws, and to face the consequences when theyve done something wrong." The book stresses on the point that parents should spend much of their time with children discussing about their actions, desires and so on. They should talk to them freely and must always create a friendly atmosphere. The book also teaches how parents can reach out to their children, teach them engagement in rewarding activity, and promote emotional maturity and a sense of self-worth. MY REFLECTION ON THE BOOK The book, in my opinion is really a wonderful expression of the relationship between parent and child. The main focus of the author is on the parents, who according to him are too indulgent towards their children. Being protective and indulgent is not wrong but, when it is goes out of control, the children are really affected. Children do not have the opportunity of facing the problems by themselves. And as the children grow, they become more dependent towards their parents and develop less courage to face the world. Parents should leave their children to sort out things by themselves, so that they will be able to get more knowledge out of every experience. The author states clearly that instead of encouraging them to take lifes challenges and work hard toward their goals, parents try to protect them from every failure. Kindlon argues that societys focus on achievement and success has replaced the emphasis on developing an inner moral compass; its absence makes it hard for kids to take responsibility for their actions and have meaningful, fulfilling relationships. He brings out the reality of parents who never spend time with their children. In this case, the children have no opportunity of expressing their feelings to their parents and the overall relationship between the child and the parent is ultimately spoiled. Such children grow, alienated living in same family. They develop their own interest and make decisions in their own and this could lead to dangerous consequences later on in their life. Children should enjoy the love and warmth of their parents and should feel that they are supportive always. Though the author says that parents should listen to the opinions of their children, he mentions clearly that the final decision should be made by parents. In my view, if the desire or wish of the child is good, we should not stand in their way. We should help and support them to achieve their goals and only then we can be right parents. The book also throws light on the material possessions of the children. The author says that parents provide many things to their children in the thought that their children should be happy, but the first and foremost thing that every child needs is the time to talk to their parents. Money or whatever it is, when given adequately only spoils the children. And when parents seem to take less importance of their children as they are busy with their works, things become worse. Because of this lacking love and care, children suffer depression and get disinterested towards everything easily. The contents of this book can also be applied to the relationship between a teacher and a child. Teachers are actually the second parents, who mould and shape them to face the competitive world. They not only teach them, but also train them in such a way that they could stand against all pressures. Following the guidelines of this book, in my view a teacher should listen to his students and respect their opinions and support them. The teacher should observe that the students’ motivational level is always high and should be always available to guide them properly. The author says: "Lets all do the same thing, let’s all resolve to make a habit of spending time with our children. There is nothing more important that we could do to help an overtly angry child, or a child who has turned his or her anger inward and become listless, anxious, and depressed." Thus, the most important thing of all is to spend our time with the children. It can be applied to both parent and teacher. In order to have a fruitful relationship with our children, parents should take up the responsibility of being, loving, kind and supportive. Caring for their progression and encouraging them and letting them to work out on things by themselves will develop good character, ability and attitude in their children and make the relationship better too. BIBLIOGRAPHY Kindlon, Dan. “Too much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.” Read More