Unrealistic ideals - Essay Example

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So often, we find ourselves inside a trap we ourselves have created. I believe that each person has established a set of standards of how things should go based on our own perception of perfection. …
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07 August 2008 Unrealistic Ideals So often, we find ourselves inside a trap we ourselves have created. I believe that each person has established a set of standards of how things should go based on our own perception of perfection. Each of us wants things to work the way we envision them to be-we all want to have perfect relationships where we are socially acceptable and desirable. However, we often find ourselves grappling with the reality that our lofty ideals can never be more than just a dream and standard. And that's where our struggles begin.
When setting up our ideals, we often envision that people around us will contribute to their attainment. Recounting the story of Clint in "The Kind of Light that Shines on Texas," what he most wanted is to be accepted and equally treated as whites. Yet, he is black and no matter what he does, racism is a fact of life which can never be avoided. In the same manner, Cleofilas in "Woman Hollering Creek" dreamed of the ideal relationship with his husband, where she is adored, provided, and cared for. Yet, she's slapped with the reality that marriage is not a bed of roses but the ultimate test of endurance. These examples shed light that so often, individuals face failures and hardships no matter what they do because they cannot control the entire situations much less the people around them. Instead of blaming it to the other people in the story, I realized that these failures occur because of Clint and Cleofilas setting of highly unrealistic goals amid life's bitter realities.
When I was a child, I dreamed of the perfect family where parents do more than just provide their children's needs. I have always envisioned my parents to be perfect. I thought that they would always be there to guide me, lead me, develop and enhance my capabilities, and support me in everything I do. However, as I grew older I have witnessed their weaknesses and shortcomings. My first reaction was disappointment and rebellion. My hopes of having a perfect reality faded as I found myself entangled with the difficulties of maintaining a harmonious relationship with parents who are joggling work, social ties, and family life. My expectation was shattered and I could only be disappointed.
Like Clint and Cleofilas, I felt really hurt and disillusioned. But as I grew older, I turned to my past mistakes, shortcomings, and weaknesses amid my desire to live a perfect life. These realizations slapped me with the fact that my parents were also like me-struggling to attain the ideals they have set for themselves yet failing because of life's complexities. I have learned to forgive them and have this renewed commitment of living the best that we can be. I knew that I could also never live up to their expectation of a straight-A student and that virtuoso that they long want but they still accept me and support me in their endeavors. We could never be the portrayal of a perfect family, but I left my unrealistic ideals behind and am living the real life. Read More
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