A Path to Happiness - Essay Example

Lecturer: A Path to Happiness Happiness can be described as a feeling of joy and contentment and an overall sense of wellbeing. Happiness is viewed as many people as an ideal that can be pursued or as an achievement that once they fulfill certain things in their life they will achieve happiness. This is wrong and leads to many people living lives feeling discontent and unfulfilled and can even result in ulcers, heart attacks and other stress related diseases. Indeed, it is for this reason that psychologists have taken a lot of focus on the achievement of a state of happiness by their patients; however, as shown below happiness is a state of mind that cannot always be achieved through counseling and material goods. Happiness cannot be pursued indefinitely but for an individual to say that they are happy, there are some prerequisites. It is important for a person to have good health as the body detects everything, it is almost impossible for someone to claim that they are happy while they are ailing from a sickness more so if it is causing extreme pain, or even a fever. Research has overwhelmingly proved that good health is associated with happiness and even more valued than material possessions across cultures. There is a correlation between sickness and negative states of health and the healthier an individual is the happier they rate themselves as (Davey and Selin 145). Another physical prerequisite for good health is having a sense of belonging and having a sense of community and friends to offer both material and physical support for the individual. Human beings are still social animals and in spite of the progress we have made in development, the effects of isolation of an individual are still significant including a reduced mortality rate among lonely people and a much higher risk of depression (Ashton 147). Personally, I am a happy person having learnt that happiness is an individual pursuit and not one for others to provide. Therefore, I believe that while it is important for an individual to have a community of friends and family to support you during hard times, it is also important for me to understand that it is not for them to provide the feelings of contentment. This is because what they want out of their own lives and what they expect of mine are not always the same as what I want for my own life and what I expect of myself. Further, I believe that my independence plays an important role in my happiness is that I acknowledge the fact that while the rest of the community might try their best to make me happy to a certain level; overall, they are still human and different and occasionally they are bound to fail me, as I am bound to fail them. For that reason, I live with them and appreciate them, but I acknowledge the fact that I am the one responsible for myself. As discussed above good health is an important part of happiness and so I have strived to live a healthy life to the extent which I can. I exercise regularly and ensure that I go for a medical checkup at least once a year, and this way I ensure that no silent ailments will develop unexpectedly. Moreover, I do engage in community activities and help those who do need help and acknowledge the fact that from time to time I too will need help. However, good health does not mean being able to complete a marathon, while it is important for someone to be healthy, we should not exert ourselves to much competing with others in tests of fitness more so if we are not professional athletes. There is no denying that from time to time I feel sad and the first step I take to hanle the situation is to reflect inwards as to what is causing this sadness feeling. In case the problem is something insignificant then I do try to rectify it; more so if it is within my powers to make the changes causing me discomfort. On the other hand, if it is a problem too serious then I ask my friends what they think about it and then see if they can give me any good advice on the problems that I face. While I do listen to advice I do not always follow it as I have observed that when someone gives another advice they are not necessarily telling them what they should do, but instead what they would do if they were in my situation. Consequently, the advice given always varies from person to person and sometimes they do not always understand the situation or its full context in relation to me. In case after I’ have tried everything and still cannot find a solution to the problem, then I accept and focus on the positive about it, since there is no point in complaining about something that has already passed or cannot be changed. In case the sadness is because somebody has offended me, I often find a way of discussing with the party involved about why I think that they wronged me. This is not always possible, for instance, I have a part time job and sometimes the supervisor would offend me, but there was no way of telling the supervisor that I have a problem with him. This is because he being in charge, complaining can get me easily fired and being viewed as petty; more so, if ones only complaint is that he spoke in a tone one did not like. In such cases the only thing one can do is to forgive the person and forget about the offence, not just because there’s nothing one can do in the present, but it works against somebody when they have to deal with somebody on a daily basis and are holding grudges with them. Bitterness will in the long run work against them as it will affect their mood and has been shown to cause high blood pressure and even heart attacks (Giacalone and Promislo 112) There are several events in my life where I have felt very sad, one of which was when I was about to join college. There was a lot of pressure for me to pursue another course which was viewed as more marketable and which could improve my employment chances. I was sad since this was not the course that I wanted to pursue, and therefore hoped that I would get sufficient support from home, but this was not to happen. I believe this was the point where I learnt that while it is important to have family and friends, it is important for one to understand that it is up to them to define their own happiness. In addition, while it is important to have friends and family to support you, sometimes one will have disagreements with them due to their difference in expectations for you. To overcome my sadness, I simply accepted that we were different and that from time to time I must disappoint people because what they are asking for is either not practical or is going to cost me my own desires and aspiration. I have also felt sad when I once failed my exams with some very disappointing grades despite working hard and diligently. I later came to understand that exams are a part of student life and that while it is good to hope for success there are times when failure will come along. The reason I was so disappointed is that I had put a significant amount of effort, and in the worst-case scenario, I expected an average grade. However, the only consolation was that the exam was particularly hard and the rest of the class did have a poor performance showing that it was not entirely my fault. Happiness is not a target that can be ran after like completing a mortgage or buying a car, and I would not recommend to anyone to let their happiness be defined by material possessions. It would mean a constant feeling of discontent and underachievement until one has purchased a certain good or service, and once this item has been achieved it is almost certain that a new one will be seen and so the cycle would continue. People should also avoid focusing on their own personal achievements as well because failure and disappointment are sure to come. It might be getting overlooked for a promotion at work or performing poorly at school or even missing the league title by two points for an athlete it does not mean that one should feel like they are not entitled to feel good about themselves. I would recommend focusing on the positive parts of life as one tries to improve on their negatives, life is not also about accepting everything as it comes and as such an individual must strive for self-improvement even as they focus on the positive no matter how little it is. It is also imperative that people do not isolate themselves from society, as they themselves are a part of it. The other part for happiness is for society not to have unrealistic expectations of people as this will mean that only those who are extremely talented have a right to claim a membership to the society. Excessive pressure to succeed while many think will only help the individual usually results in people being more reserved about making attempts and can lead to depression or even suicide by those who think that they have yet to achieve and are therefore failures. Happiness from a sense of belonging requires appreciation by people and an acknowledgement that they are valued members of the community in spite of their shortcomings. Happiness is a feeling of contentment and pleasure that an individual feels for many reasons. It has been seen that good health and a caring community are basic prerequisite without which an individual cannot be happy. It is therefore important that we accept one another for who we are and as an individual be able to let go of past mistakes so as to focus on future positive expectations in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert, to find happiness one must eat, pray and love. Works Cited Ashton, Acton. Issues in Sociology and Social Work—Aging, Medical, and Missionary Research and application. Georgia: Scholarly editions, 2013.Print Giacalone, Robert, and Promislo, Mark. Handbook of Unethical Work Behavior: Implications for Individual Well-Being. New York: Sharpe, 2013.Print. Davey, Gareth, and Selin, Helaine. Happiness Across Cultures: Views of Happiness and Quality of Life in Non-Western Cultures. New York: Springer, 2012.Print. Read More