Non-Self-Disclosure as the Act of Withholding Personal Information - Research Paper Example

? Non-Self Disclosure NON-SELF DISCLOSURE Non self-disclosure is the act of withholding personal information and not telling someone the unknown aspects of your own life (Forrest, 2010). The facts withheld in this case should be personal and unknown to the listener. On the other side, self-disclosure is the act of giving personal information to unknown people. Non self-disclosure depends on a number of factors. One of the factors that determine; self-disclosure, or non-self-disclosure is the relationship of the involved individuals. To add to this, the urgency of need of the information will also determine. The state of mind of an individual also plays an important role in determining the extent to which self-disclosure can go up to. Non-self-disclosure by itself has advantages and disadvantages in different situations. All these are discussed below. One of the advantages of non-self-disclosure is that it helps one to create a good first impression (Forrest, 2010). When meeting new people in life, it is advisable that we do not disclose too much about ourselves. This mostly is best for people with a low profile. It helps to avoid many questions and uncertainties pertaining to the individual; what he or she is up to. Self-disclosure to new people in an individual’s life should be gradual and should fall in place by itself. When the need to disclose something arises, it is then that it is supposed to be told. Too much self-disclosure, at the first time, is bound to scare off people and make them feel uncomfortable. It makes them think that you are after something which after getting, you might not be interested in sharing with them anymore (Willock et al, 2009). However, on the other side, people with high profile like politicians and those contesting for any position in a contest should be open to share personal information with their audience. The information to be shared in such a case should be related to the contest or rally and should be geared towards helping them gain favor from their audience. This will help them to show a good management of their life and thus good role modeling which will help them in gaining votes. For couples, non-self-disclosure can work negatively on their relationship. It creates tension and a feeling of cheating or withdrawal to the opposite partner (Willock et al, 2009). To promote love and intimacy, there is a need for both partners to be very open to each other. Self-disclosure acts like a bond that binds the souls of the couple together. It is advisable that you open up to your partner after you have been in a relationship for some good time. It is healthy for the relationship and helps to make it stronger. The information though needs to be examined so that it does not cause alarm or distrust. In the case, of a patient and a doctor, non-self-disclosure on the side of the patient is not healthy. The patient is supposed to be very open to the doctor so that the doctor can know exactly how to deal with the illness (Willock et al, 2009). This is because a patient with family related illness may be treated differently from that having the same illness as the first one in their family. Doctors also need to be outgoing to tell their clients some personal information. This helps the clients to open up more and makes them feel normal even if the information they are sharing is very alarming. This creates a bond of trust between a patient and the doctor. Non self-disclosure is also advantageous as disclosure of personal information can be accompanied with a number of challenges. The receiver of the information may use the information to create indifference with you (Forrest, 2010). This is because one may think that you are different in a way and thus no need to be close. Disclosure of personal life can also cause rejection and betrayal if the person is not for your information. The information can be used against you such that it impacts negatively on your life. Hence, it is good to keep some personal information to self and not to share it with others. Non self-disclosure is also good in a situation of a leader and junior staff members. For the leader, non-self-disclosure will help him to maintain respect and power. Since a leader is a role model in a place of work, disclosing personal information can be taken by the junior staff and used against them or used to look down upon them. This can lead to loss of control and power to guide your staff at the place of work. They are thus supposed to keep a high level of non-self-disclosure for healthy leadership (Willock et al, 2009). Non-Self-disclosure also has the advantages of keeping you from states of anxiety and shame (Forrest, 2010). Anxiety builds in an individual in the event that the disclosed information met negative reaction from the people that received it. Because of the above, an individual becomes confused and lost, in addition to making them anxious, to know the outcome of the disclosure. This is also accompanied with issues of stress and withdrawal of self from people. It is an effect resulting from shock as one may have thought that the information is not bad in its nature. Non-self-disclosure helps a person to be strong in dealing with situations. Having the habit of not exposing your difficulties and fears helps you develop ways of dealing with the situations and consequently become strong. This will make you a helpful resource in helping others having the same problems as yours. It also keeps you away from gossip and social ostracism. Your social life will continue smoothly as people will use the little information they know about you and not burden you with a lot of questions. Non-self-disclosure also is advantageous as it keeps you away from fear of future recurring experiences. People knowing your behavior or life experience at a certain time may put you as the point of focus at a similar period in the future. This can impact negatively to your life at such a time (Willock et al, 2009). However, non-disclosure has negative effects to a person. It makes him feel lonely and out of place. Mostly, this is because they have a lot of problems and issues pulling on them but lack the courage to share with someone. Consequently, the weight of the whole problem wears down on them. Thus, loneliness and feeling out of place arises. Such people mostly are not free with many people socially. This makes it difficult for them to form strong social relationships because they hold back a lot of information, which makes their counterparts to shy away. Withholding personal information also makes it difficult for a person to have a close friend with whom they can solve issues together. This behavior tends to drive away close friends and thus leaves one without a person to share ideas and problems (Willock et al, 2009). It also acts down on you, as you can easily be a testimony to others. One’s experiences and lifestyle can be a great motivation to others, and they can see you like a hero. You can then serve, like a role model, to encourage others to tackle a similar situation the way you did it. It is thus important that you disclose your information to those you think need encouragement and help. However, this should be only done at the right time and in the right manner to avoid questions and worries in those being advised. Non-self-disclosure also has the disadvantage of keeping one from finding others who have the same experiences in life. Finding those with the same experiences in life helps one to gain confidence in himself and improves one’s self esteem. It makes one feel in a family and normal. Approving of your information by fellow friends is healthy for one’s self as it improves his social interaction and his way of thinking. Non-self-disclosure makes a person live with a dark part in his life and heart. This is a thing he thinks is not good to share with others, and it is evil. He feels dark and evil and can lead him into doing even bad things in the future. It can slowly transform one into a criminal and a bad person in society. The experience of withholding a secret from others and still living comfortably makes one think that he is good at concealing information and hence can engage in dangerous things with the mentality that he will hide it from friends and family (Willock et al, 2009). Another disadvantage of non-disclosure is that it does not give a person a chance to change the bad things one has been doing (Forrest, 2010). Individuals in a rehabilitation center are supposed to be very open in sharing their experiences in life and the dark things they have engaged in. This is the only way that can assure them of improvement and finally living a reformed life. Sharing of such things makes them feel freed from a heavy load and thus free from all that was haunting them. It is actually the first step that leads to a better and reformed life. In conclusion, non-self-disclosure is a good thing but should be done with precaution (Forrest, 2010). One needs to take into consideration any disadvantages that can be accompanied with the non-self-disclosure before deciding to withhold information. If the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, it is better opening up and getting assistance for your problem. It is important to put into consideration the time and associated events that will help to make speaking up effective. Too much non-self-disclosure is harmful to you and to your friends as it pulls you apart and impacts negatively to your relationship with them. Thus, it should be done with moderation. References Forrest, G. (2010). Self-disclosure in psychotherapy and recovery. Lanham: Jason Aronson. Willock, B. Curtis, C. & Bohm, C. (2009). Taboo or not taboo : forbidden thoughts, forbidden acts in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy. London: Karnac Books. Read More