How to Get Over a Disappointment - Essay Example

? How to get over disappointment Purpose: To inform Audience: The public Tone: frank Thesis: Five Steps on how to get over disappointment Pattern of development: Analsis and synthesis Organizational approach: Categorical I. Introduction II. Steps How to get over disappointment A. By making-up ones mind B. Figure out how to avert the same disappointment in future C. Stop going over the details D. Get ongrossed in something to create fun E. Take the disappointment in strides III. Conclusion A. Introduction Disappointment is the feeling one gets when his expectations go unrewarded. This results in dissatisfaction. Everyone gets disappointed, whether the issues are big or small, one should not let them ruin his day, nor derail people from their life goals. However, it is possible if we avoid dwelling too much on disappointments. Many disappointments are emotions allowed into people’s hearts, and the same way we can control them from taking over us. The human heart can as well destroy what it builds (Brown, 2008). This comes when time and determination gets a chance in one’s perceptions. Disappointments manifest themselves in one’s thoughts, perception, will, emotions, imaginations and in our memory according to how we deal with situations. One can get over these through: total make up of the mind, figuring out how to avoid the same in future, stopping going over the details, getting engrossed in something fun and taking the disappointment in stride (Lachman, 2009). Below are some of the feasible steps one should follow in order to get over disappointment. I. Steps: how to get over disappointment A. Making-up one’s mind First, one should always make up his mind in an event when disappointment strikes (Lachman, 2009). It is healthy to draw your mind into conscious thinking, to wish away the past and accept what the future. Once a disappointment hits, what follows is remembrance. Constant thinking about dissatisfaction inputs people’s mind into regretful memoirs. No matter what happens one must try to forget it as first as possible. Making up ones mind to move on is the best starting point for every disappointment. Studies have shown that continual thinking of something that one loves or wishes for generates intense and strong feelings about it. Therefore, in the event that one falls short in his desire, then the windows of disappointment open up. For example, if one separates from his lover, the first positive move one should make is making up his mind to come into terms with his decision. One should stop thinking about the other and incline in the mental atmosphere that things will turn better. It is also healthy to find fault in one’s desired wish in order to distract the temptations of going back to that disappointment (Brown, 2008). It is only through the mind that we can get over the disappointment. What we allow into our heart, through our subconscious brain reflects in individuals physical being. This explains why some people will ease themselves out of any disappointment they come across while others will develop cold and frustrations upon every slight disappointment they encounter. Therefore, it is rational to involve thinking and reasoning whenever disaster strikes. Once we make up mind that indicates we have incorporated our knowledge as well. The decision to move on with a positive attitude is a sign of having total control of emotions (Lachman, 2009). No matter the scenario, purpose to carry on, and this, all starts from the heart. B. Figure out how to avert the disappointment in future Moreover, one should figure out how to avoid the same disappointment in the future. This is the second tantamount step. Life is colored with disappointments, which we ought to brave ourselves to face. No matter the issue, one should not assume to know all the facts about it (Brown, 2008). One should purpose to pull out all the details that propel him to triumph come next round. For example, if a lucrative job position has gone in favor of your friend, one should not ignore. Instead, one should find out why. By doing this, you should not try to change the mind of the employer. On a more profiting approach, your disappointment can only turn as a benefit if you engage the employer in knowing the details you need to improve to avert such failure in the future. For example, one should inquire about what could have been a better approach or the required personalities required for a person in such a position (Lachman, 2009). Through such perceptions, one is able to examine his own actions and learn positively instead of engaging in self-blame, which will worsen the disappointment. Obviously, it is easier to accept a disappointment when you discover the area, where you went amiss. This poises one into the controlling seat of your life since one is aware of what to improve or avoid, averting the same disappointment in the future (McKinney, 2011). This is a theory that spreads into dealing with any type of disappointment in one's life. In addition, instead of beating oneself up for the disappointment there in, knowing the factual reasons for the cause of disappointment helps one to make an important step. When we learn how to treat every set back as a learning opportunity, we prepare our personalities for adversaries which might befall us tomorrow. In this respect, we consciously award ourselves with a winning mentality (McKinney, 2011). This makes us prepare for tomorrow or the next big step in life. With such kind of awareness and mental strength, disappointments cannot override our life goals. Whenever a disappointment strikes, having internalized all these facts and concept on how to overcome frustrations, one will not cling long to any disappointment rather he will always bear the propensity to carry on no matter what the situation. C. Stop going over the details of disappointment Furthermore, one should stop going over the details of the disappointing issue repeatedly (Brown, 2008). This should not look contrary to my earlier point of allowing one to examine and know the details of your disappointment. In this, it is good to understand that the best you can do is simply to thrive to understand and come to terms with the situations. There are those who will want to talk about the issue out in order to get sympathizers or those who will want to vent the disappointments out. This is understandable and one-way off to going over any disappointment. Having done this, the disastrous moments are when one keeps on oscillating on the same issue (McKinney, 2011). This rattles the issue of disappointment afresh into one’s mind hence more dissatisfaction drools in one’s heart. Therefore, ceasing to go over the details repeatedly, having dug out the parts of improvement is the best procedure for overcoming disappointment. Some disappointments come and seem to have no logical reason why they have struck. Others even pose as scary happenings, which controlling them in the future seems a near to impossible thing. Despite all this, managing to walk past life disappointment is the best deal even when you cannot get a good understanding as to why this happened (Brown, 2008). For example, people start relationships and describe them as love made in heaven, and then just unbelievably-it collapses. Why and who can explain that? Some disappointments seem to have a million reasons for their happening. Therefore, it is understandable to let it go if one cannot fathom the rationale beyond what happened. Allowing something like a relationship break-up to go over your mind is inflicting pain hence more disappointment. One should always allow the details to slim off his mind and not get too much concern about it. This is much easier and healing for even going over to unearth details even after the disappointment has struck give one no answer. The best one should understand in order to overcome any disappointment is not avoiding making the situation worse (Brown, 2008). When one has done his best upon understanding any dissatisfaction, leave it at that level and positively climb your way for better achievements. This leaves a feeling of satisfaction upon your personality as opposed to dissatisfaction, which breeds disappointment. D. Get engrossed in doing something that creates fun In addition, one should totally get engrossed in doing something that creates fun with him rather that wallowing in disappointment (McKinney, 2011). This comes as the most constructive fourth approach. This level should come when you have done your best in understanding the causes of disappointment and avoiding rethinking on the issue in your head. One should think of something that will generate amusement and relaxation. One should create time to have fun; through this, one’s energy is completely absorbed and worrying of the former disappointment eases. For example, after facing an unbelievable disappointment, one can purpose give a surprise to visit a friend. This kind of approach involves secretive planning so as the other does not abort your plan. Through such, one pays more attention into the details of his plan and by involving your mind too much into the plan; the memoirs of disappointment get lost. Studies have shown that one cannot distract nor prevent his mind from thinking about a particular thing (Brown, 2008). It is even worse for something that causes worry. The only feasible act one cannot engage his mind into shifting to other issues of less concern is through active participation. When one gets his body, mind, and soul into attending into something crucial, he is able to divert his reasoning and energy into that issue. This automatically carries the person away from the disappointment saga. Therefore, it is worth to conclude that engaging in doing anything that will generate fun is a good way of managing any disappointment life (McKinney, 2011). E. Take the disappointment in strides Finally, once a disappointment strikes, one should learn to take it in stride (McKinney, 2011). It is important to remember that even when disappointments knock you subsequently, it is not about you. The better idea is to have the internal synthesis that disappointment does not highlight your own failures or shortcoming or define one or what someone is capable of achieving (Brown, 2008). For example, in life, the greatest have been born out of their disappointment. A perfect example is set back that Abraham Lincoln went through before finally clinching U.S. presidency. His twenty-nine subsequent failures formed his basis to climb a notch higher. On the other hand, failure to clinch a position in a certain job does not brand one as a failure. This rather provides you enough periods for self-improvement. Rising past disappointment is knowing that no matter what they say, if your parents forget your birthday or stammer during your best job interview, it is not about self (Lachman, 2009). This gives one an innate power to compel oneself to continual improvement and the fruit of this is one is able to brace him up to any disappointment no matter the weight. That is a sure recipe into fighting one’s life disappointment down (Brown, 2008). Taking disappointment into strides is remembering that success depends not from previous successes. It sprouts by learning from prior disappointments. One should take each disappointment as it comes, learn from it, leave them behind , and work upon the disappointments to propel oneself to greater heights. II. Conclusion In conclusion, everyone needs to discern how to prevail over the disappointment. No one is perfect and this explains that we cannot melt away from facing life's disappointments (Lachman, 2009). The best we can do is not to find out how we can live without disappointment but how we can create our way out of them no matter the setback (McKinney, 2011). If we learn how to overcome disappointment, we form a crucial part of self-development. One should learn how to get over them. This will pave the way to self-happiness and contentment in life. One deserves to enjoy life even when disappointments come around. Therefore, everyone is capable of having this, get over this disappointment and start living and dreaming big (Brown, 2008). References Brown, N. W. (2008). Children of the self-absorbed: A grown-up's guide to getting over narcissistic parents. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. Lachman, V. D. (2009). Ethical challenges in health care: Developing your moral compass. New York: Springer Pub. McKinney, H. M. (2011). How to get past disappointment. Eugene, Or: Harvest House Publishers. Read More