Transformation, A Gift of Emerging Adulthood - Essay Example

? Transformation: A Gift of Emerging Adulthood of the of the Interview Q: What is your occupation? A: I am a basically. I am taking an MBA course in distance learning. But I am also working as a part-time sales representative at a local retail food store. Q: How do you feel about your job? A: I like it! In fact, I love the challenge of selling. It is not an easy job, you see. Q: What would you change about it, if you could? A: Oh! Definitely I will change the salary part. (Laughs) I feel I deserve little more. Q: How does the job or career look compared to the vision you had when you were younger? What do you want for the future career-wise? What are you doing to get there? A: (Thinks a little and frowns). I had my vision, or should I say dreams? I dreamt of becoming a famous tennis player. But unfortunately, I was never good at playing. It was very late that I realized that I was wasting my time and energy. I was not destined to do it. I have learnt a lot in last three years. I have started believing in the language of ‘heart.’ My heart says that I love being with people and dealing with people. So my future career will be anything that is related to dealing with people. Maybe my own business or a job that allows me to interact with people. I would love to manage people, and maybe do something similar to what I am doing currently. (Takes pause) But to tell you the truth, I am not sure what lies ahead in future. My past experience has taught me that life is full of different opportunities, provided you are open to it. Q: What do you do for fun? A: I watch movies and hang out with friends. I find great fun in going for a long drive. So I do that a lot with my girlfriend. Sometimes, I also love spending time with my mom and just chatting with her. She is my source of strength. So yes, friends, family, and long drive is fun! Q: What does your physical activity look like? How has it changed as you have gotten older? A: As I said, I wanted to become a great tennis player (giggles embarrassingly). So I used to play and practice a lot. But that was during my teenage. After I stopped playing due to lack of resources and talent, I also stopped exercising. But I am still in shape, as my diet is very good. I am lean and active so I don’t really put on weight. Also, my job as a sales rep keeps me on my toes. Standing works as a good exercise. I can feel that with the growing age, I have learnt to use my energy in proper way. Q: What do you mean by using energy in proper way? A: (Thinks for some time) Well, I don’t take rash decisions or spend unwisely. For me, thoughts and money are also a part of energy. During my teenage, I was very impulsive and was used to get influenced by things like media, fame, and advertisements. Now, I am calm and focused. I do only those things which my heart harmonizes with. Social acceptance is not my priority now. So my energies are directed towards my satisfactions. My energy is not distracted anymore. So, in this way, I use my energies in proper way. Q: What does your internet/social networking involvement look like? A: Oh, I am not a computer person!! I love meeting people and going out. I am an outdoor person, you see. My internet and social networking is limited to e-mail checking and Facebook. But I am not that active on Facebook. I enjoy chatting and meeting friends face to face rather than on Facebook. (smiles) No, I am not that involved in social networking and internet. Q: What is your relationship status? A: I am dating. I have a girlfriend. I love her and would love to marry her. Q: Describe your family. What is your idea of family? A: I live with my mother. She has made me what I am today. I lost my father when I was 3 year old. (Pauses for some time). Since that time, my mother has raised me as single parent and has done two jobs to pay for our home and my education. Fortunately, I have amazing grandparents and they visit us often. In spite of their age, they are healthy, active and happy. That is my family. So my idea of family is a loving bond and trust between people who are there to love you unconditionally and support you no matter what. Q: Describe your friends. What do you do for fun with them? How often do you see them? A: My friends are from my neighborhood. They are simple people. Two of them are married. We usually get together on weekends, go for long drive or watch favorite TV series/movies at home. Just meeting and spending time with my friends is fun in itself. So activity doesn’t really matter. Sometimes, we just find fun in watching TV and just ‘being’ ourselves (smiles). Nothing is more fun than just ‘being’. I meet with my friends often on weekends. But if time and job permits, then on weekdays also. Q: Where/How do you meet new friends/relationship partners? A: I already have a girlfriend, so meeting a new partner is out of question! Also, one girlfriend is more than enough (Laughs loudly)! I meet new friends at job or through current friends. I also meet new people at my mediation class. My meditation class meets once a week. So it is a healthy interaction with balanced and like minded people. That is another group of my friends. Q: If you have children, how has your marriage/relationship(s) changed since you had children? How? A: No I do not have children. I am yet to marry. Q: Is not having children and not being married your choice? Why or why not? What are your expectations of future family? A: Well, yes and no. I am not married and I do not have children, because I want to have a secure and good financial status first. I need to be sure that I will be capable of fulfilling the emotional, material, and psychological needs of my family. Hence, I do want to marry but when I am strong enough to handle that responsibility. I plan to get married in next two years or so. Fortunately, even my girlfriend thinks the same. As far as my expectations of future family are concerned, I can say that I want to take things as they come. I would love my kids to enjoy the blessings of loving parents and grand-parents. I am a family person and love being together. I value love, bonding, and relationships a lot. So I always take care to nourish them. Q: How have your friendships changed since you were younger? What activities do you do with your friends? A: (Closes his eyes and thinks a little) I have made some different friends since my early twenties. Now I get attracted to people who are mature and value spiritual growth and relationships more than material wealth and temporary pleasures. When I was young, I wanted to live a sort of ‘rock star’ life, but not anymore. So accordingly, my friendships have also changed. As I told you earlier, we do simple activities like cooking or playing cards, when we meet. Q: How was dating different when you were teen from how it is today? A: Oh, a lot different! In my teens, dating meant sex. So the focus was physical and sexual attractions. Physical beauty was prominent. Dating was also a means of gaining social recognition and popularity. So, there was always a competition with other guys to get ‘that’ beautiful girl. Those days are over now. Now, dating is about compatibility, charm, harmony, and understanding. It is more about comfort and bliss than about sex. Q: Are your friends more of the same sex or the other sex? Has it changed? Do you and your partner have friends of the opposite sex? How did you feel about that? A: Well, my friends are both male and female. My girlfriend’s friends are also from both genders. We hang out more as a couple than single people. So there is no particular choice about the gender. Compatibility matters a lot. I like the fact that my girlfriend gets along well with both genders. It builds confidence and makes one socially capable. So yes, we enjoy company of both male and female friends. Q: What are your views about divorce? A: Personally, I think it is devastating experience. At the same time, I feel that if a couple is not getting along with each other, then they should separate. There is no point in spreading the poison of hate and rage. Q: What do you think are the guidelines for successful marriage/relationship? A: Harmony and compatibility are two requirements for successful marriage. If partners accept each other as they are, then nothing can go wrong. Expecting a lot from other person can be damaging to relationship. So understanding that my partner is an ‘individual’ and needs her space is good nourishment for marriage. Understanding between partners nourishes and beautifies the relationship. Q: When you have personal problem, to whom do you turn? A: I turn to my mother or my girlfriend. I believe that transparency in relationship avoids trouble and makes you stress free. My mother knows me inside out. So she is the best person to provide solutions. Q: What are your thoughts about sex before marriage? A: I think it is alright if partners are mature. However, one should be very careful before indulging in sex with someone. If the partners are seriously committed, then it is fine. However, I am not in favor of casual sex. Q: Is the anything you have learnt that you didn’t know during teen years? A: Yes, I have learnt that life is beautiful when you know how to keep it simple. Fame, wealth, and power do not guarantee happiness. Happiness is in fulfillment of your true nature and desires. Happiness comes from self-acceptance and not from social acceptance. Q: Finally, what is your idea of ideal life? What is the secret of happiness? A: A simple life with no expectations or future dreams. I was lucky to learn meditation early in my life. I learnt to meditate two years back. Meditation helps me enjoy my present and ‘be in the now’. That is the ideal life for me. Just ‘be in the now.’ Reflection The interview was a very pleasant experience for me. I was very happy to see a young man so mature and balanced in his outlook. I learnt that if a person is open to new experiences and learns from mistakes, then he or she can achieve happiness and fulfillment in the present. I learnt that happiness and contentment are not attached to anything external but lie in accepting oneself and nourishing all the good things in life. What surprised me was the maturity and intelligence of a man so young. I could see that he had learnt from hard lessons in life. His dreams were shattered when he realized that he did not have the talent and resources to become a tennis player. However, rather than becoming negative, hateful, and depressed, he transformed his life by accepting the reality gracefully. Moreover, his idea about marriage/relationship and the efforts to maintain bonding with people he loved also surprised me pleasantly. I was interviewing a 24 year old man but I felt like I was talking to a wise man in his forties. The interview taught me that human beings have great potential to transform. Even though psychology has identified different developmental stages in life, the human life can take quantum leap into transformation through spiritual methods and love. Hence, life is all about being open to blessings of life and enjoying the ‘now’ as it is. Read More