Friendship in Adolescence - Essay Example

? Friendship in Adolescence (School Introduction One of the best messages about friendship was emphasized in the 1980s film en d “The Big Chill” which states that “It’s a cold world out there, but friends can make it a warmer place.” True, friendship is one of the most important relationships in life. Through sharing, comforting, and supporting, friends can help you decide and clarify your goals (Schwartz, 2009). According to Dr. Schwartz (2009), an expert Child Psychologist, “Friendships for children provide numerous important functions including companionship, stimulation, physical support, ego-support, social comparison and intimacy, and affection.” During child’s development, the functions of friendship vary in progressive stages (Schwartz, 2009). Thus, we need to determine how friendship develops over time. Development of Friendship During the first stage, comprised of children seven years old and below, friendship is self-centered (Schwartz, 2009). Children during this time are very playful and they see friendship as to who lives near them, plays with them and talks to them. Sometimes, friendship develops during this stage to children whose mothers and fathers are close friends. For children ages seven to nine, the second stage of friendship develops where they begin to understand the feelings of the other child and start to respond to others (Schwartz, 2009). This is the start of the child’s concept of give and take. But give and take relationship fully develops at the pre-adolescent stage (Schwartz, 2009). This is the start of development of trust to children. This stage is the start of friends who help each other. However, this is also the stage where friends start to understand each other. But when times come when they argue with each other, it is very difficult for them to patch things up. During the adolescent stage, friendship provides a deeper emotional support because adolescents become more independent of their families (Schwartz, 2009).This is the stage for identity formation, thus friendship become a foundation of new values and behaviour of the adolescents such as intimacy, empathy, acceptance and deep trust. Because of this, we need to understand better the importance of friendship in adolescence. Importance of Friendship in Adolescence Adolescence is the period when individuals begin to acquire the true meaning of friendship which gives them the opportunity to discover options to be integrated into personal identity (“Friendship-Friendships throughout Adolescence”, n.d.). Adolescents discover and encounter different values and ideologies from friends. Friendships at this age provide the developmental structures needed to formation of competence of the individuals (Schwartz, 2009). Friends during this stage start to understand and support each other especially when problem arises from family and school. During this stage, children develop the sense of independence especially from parents. Even if parents are the foundation of material and financial support, children tend to exclude their parents when developing their outlooks on present and future issues (“Friendship-Friendships throughout Adolescence”, n.d.). In result, the parents usually see this as acts of rebellion and become likely to be judgmental of their children’s actions. During this time, individuals see friends as not judgmental and rely on them instead of their parents. Many times, friendship during the adolescence stage have been viewed to be one of the most problematic stages in child development. This is the stage where negative pressures exist. However, according to Crosnoe and Needham (2004), negative pressure is just one aspect of friendship in adolescence period. They believe that this the stage when more positive effects can be seen because of friendships such as good influences on how adolescents act, think and feel (Crosnoe; Needham, 2004). What should be given importance and understanding is the characteristics of friends and circumstances when unfolding this friendship. If adolescents engage to friends who did well in school and behaved well, then positive characteristics will be integrated to their system. According to the study conducted by Crosnoe and Needham (2004), they stated that friendship can also be shaped by the location and size of circle of peers. These networks of friendship influence how individuals or adolescents are affected such that those adolescents connected to a greater number of people, are most likely to be influenced the greatest by their friends. Nevertheless, according to Yu, Tepper, and Russell (2009), developing high quality friendships in adolescence is very important because it helps them avoid aggressive behaviour, high degrees of loneliness and depression, and low academic achievement that will affect them negatively in later life. This is because adolescent friendships are associated with self-esteem when during the stage of forming self-identity or image and social competence (Yu, Tepper, and Russell, 2009). According to scholars, friendships in adolescence help save youths from negative impact of family troubles and can help influence academic achievement (Yu, Tepper, and Russell, 2009). It is just a matter of how parents or people handle adolescents during the strong influence of friendships in their development. Instead of focusing on the negative pressures given by friends or peers, it is better to understand the adolescents during these times of exploring life of independence. Thus, to promote high and positive influence of friendships, it is advisable to nurture social skills such as anger management, equality, and understanding during this stage (Yu, Tepper, and Russell, 2009). It is also important to let the adolescents know and practice their expressing skills especially when it comes to emotions (Yu, Tepper, and Russell, 2009). What is important is that they understand how parents feel about their actions so that they will know where parents are coming from. Parents should be able to let the adolescents know that they can also support them whenever they have troubles with their friends. Though this will be a difficult stage, understanding can be the greatest armor during this stage. Conclusion Friendships in adolescence are generally stereotyped as stage of a very difficult time for parents. This is what people sometimes refer as stage when negative pressures are very high. But what we need to do is accept that adolescent friendships are complex, multi-dimensional and dynamic (Crosnoe; Needham, 2004). Impacts of these friendships can either be advantageous or harmful in their lives. It just depends on who their friends are and where these friendships unfold (Crosnoe; Needham, 2004). References: Crosnoe, R., Needham, B., (2004).Child Development, Vol. 75, Issue 1, Holism, Contextual Variability, and the Study of Friendships in Adolescent Development. Friendship - Friendships Throughout Adolescence, (n.d.). Retrieved November 3, 2011 from http://family.jrank.org/pages/663/Friendship-Friendships-Throughout-Adolescence.html Schwartz, P., (2009). Importance of Friendship in Childhood and Adolescence. Retrieved November 4, 2011 from http://hudsonvalleyparentblog.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/importance-of-friendship-in-childhood-and-adolescence/ Yu, J., Tepper, K., Russell, S., (2009). Peer Relationships and Friendships. 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