What makes a marriage work - Research Paper Example

?What makes a marriage work? Introduction Marriage is a vital issue in the United s because of its association with other fundamental concerns in the society. In the United States where divorce cases are in upward spiraling growth, finding on what makes a marriage work has become one of the relevant topics under study. In the following sections, the proponent emphasizes some of the important issues that are said to help marriage work. The impact of age Age of couples is said to be a strong indicator of marriage that will ultimately work. Those who marry late tend to achieve success in marriage but in poor quality while those who married younger or in their mid-twenties have great chance to achieve intact marriage and high quality as well (Glenn, Uecker & Love, 2010). However, this result does not necessarily conclude that couples who married at the age of 22 to 25 have exactly what it takes to have a perfect or successful marriage. There are still many studies needed in order to confirm this observation. The information that these studies will generate could lead to other relevant details in finding what exactly will make marriage work. As stated earlier, Glenn, Wecker and Love found that from the American data set including information about married couples, those who entered at later age in the marriage life have the tendency to succeed in it, but are found to have less quality though. At this point, it is important to consider what this quality is all about. There is a need to understand the criteria of what a quality married life is all about. Glenn, Wecker, and Love do not essentially include this point, but they could be telling the right information at some degree. It cannot be denied that people at young age have much energy to invest or share. Glenn , Wecker and Love might have been dealing about the things that young couples could do but those older could not in both their physical and emotional capacity. Thus, they pointed out that those who involved marriage at the later part of their lives can be successful, but with low level of quality because it might be about a question of maturity. This idea is supported by Smith et al. (2009). They justified that older couples have greater focus on emotional and social concerns during problem solving. Smith and colleagues implied that these couples have greater satisfaction in their marriage life which eventually leads them to stay longer together and even for life. However, on the other hand, beam and vigor and the physical needs such as sex may not be necessarily be part and of great concern among them. Thus, satisfaction among couples is another key point that is said to lead to a successful marriage. Satisfaction from expectations and needs The satisfaction of needs among couples brings them happiness over their entire married life (Tharp, 1963). Tharp emphasizes that prior to achieving a certain degree of satisfaction in the married life; couples have primary and important roles to play in marriage beforehand. Husband has specific role to play and his wife as well. However, Tharp emphasizes that there exists significant expectations among couples about their specific roles. Their happiness in their marriage can be measured on how satisfied are they with the level of expectations they have on their partner. In other words, what Tharp was trying to point out is the thought that satisfaction is associated with couple’s expectations from each other. The more satisfied couples form their expectations with their partner, the more their marriage will most likely to succeed. However, Tharp was only confined with the issue of marriage-role expectations and does not include the conventional approach which primarily involves general personality needs. The general personality needs may still have significant influence on the success of marriage. It is without question that couples have different personalities and because of this there are generally important needs that may vary among them. As the usual observation, the hierarchy of needs of Maslow can still define the level of satisfaction in each individual. From Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, there is a great deal of achieving satisfaction for psychological needs and it should be satisfied so that the needs for safety will be achieved and until finally the self-actualization is experienced. In this theory, it is important that the primary drive for something such as sex should be fulfilled first prior to achieving the need for a safe and secure environment and so on (Feldman, 2003). Marriage as environmentally and genetically influenced So far, the above mentioned points that are said to influence marriage to make it successful are in line with sociological concerns. In this section, the proponent tries to include the influence of genetic factors in marriage that is said to be the bottom line of sociological evidences that lead to the success of marriage. There is corresponding issue about marriage and divorce from a genetic and environmental perspective (Jerskey et al., 2010). For Jerskey and company, the determinant of the marital success or failure is still unknown. However, they pointed out that behavioral geneticists have found that there is a strong association between marriage and divorce with genetic influence and the environment. The result of their study shows that marital statuses were influenced by distinct genetic factors. The total number of respondents for their study is 6225 twin pairs coming from Vietnam. Jerskey et al (2010) used marital history of these twins especially on finding whether they were still married or not. Specifically, if they were no longer married the reasons on how their marriage ended were also recorded. The univariate analysis was used in order to determine the extent on how genetic factors influenced marital success among these twins. There might be a significant truth in this finding considering that today’s perspective in psychology includes biological approach (Feldman, 2003). In this approach there is a remarkable inclusion of the idea on how the inheritance of characters is passed on from generation to generation and how could it influence the human behavior in general. The idea behind why twins were studied by Jerskey and colleagues was to logically trace the significance of genetic factors in the success of marriage. Twins who might have failed marriage is considered a significant proof that indeed genetics factors may be useful in the argument. However, this result might just be a coincidence so Jerskey and company made it a point to include the environmental factors. Such factors may include politics and other relevant human decisions from a complex interaction. For instance, in the United States where divorce is legalized, it is not a question why there is always an easy way out for couples who wants to break free from the bond of marriage. Thus, the study of Jerskey and her colleagues only implies that marriage may not just be explained by using purely the biological perspective, but also through environmental perspective that combined humanistic and behavioral viewpoint. Other factors There are other factors that are said to influence marriage and these include male dominance, female attractiveness and similarity between couples (Weisfeld et al., 1992). Weisfeld and colleagues pointed that in the United States, the more similar couples are, the happier they can be and stable in their relationship. However, this specific trend in the United States may not necessarily be the same with couples in other countries. In Britain, couples with dominant husband in decision making are most satisfied in their marriage (Weisfeld et al., 1992). This is due to the fact that wives are satisfied if their husbands dominate in the decision-making process, but they also tend to be dissatisfied once there is over dominance. Furthermore, Weisfeld and company added that husbands are happier in their marriage if their wives are moderately attractive, but this has no significant result in the United States. On the other hand, cultural orientation and even religion were not included in the study of Glenn, Wecker and Love. They merely focused on their observation on how early couples should get involve in a marriage life and the likelihood that it would succeed. One of the most interesting points they pointed out is the association of age with the level of success in marriage. For them, marriage should be experienced in the mid-twenties because couples have the chance to give it a shot with high level of quality. However, there are other issues that may be linked to the success of marriage and that is about understanding the couples’ cultural background or religious orientation. In this case, it may be interesting to include cultural orientation of couples about marriage. Some cultures have given specific and great value on marriage and some do not. Some countries have legalized divorce, but other few do not. In fact, nowadays only the Philippines as the remaining Christian country in the world still does not have divorce in its constitution. Conclusion There are indeed different factors that need to be looked at in understanding what makes a marriage work. It is important to understand that there are different perspectives in psychology that need to be considered in understanding this. In particular, it cannot be denied that today’s perspective in psychology especially in understanding the success of marriage is not only confined in behavioral or humanistic approach. Due to increasing number of studies that aim to understand the success and failure of marriage, other psychological perspectives may apply. However, these perspectives are all interrelated and end up associating with the behavioral perspective. After all, have the capacity to impart their behaviors and even influence others too. Furthermore, couples are humans with potential to interact and define themselves based on their social interaction with the environment. The idea of a happy marriage is therefore a clear proof that marriage should be designed as a success and not a failure. However, in the end, the bottom line is that humans are the ones responsible for how they want to enjoy or live their married lives. References Feldman, R. S. (2003). Essentials of Understanding Psychology (5th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill. Glenn, N. D., Uecker, J. E., & Love, R. W. B. Jr. (2010). Later first marriage and marital success. Social Science Research. 39, 787-800. Grant, D., Schultz, M., Eisen, S. A., Tsuang, M. T., & Lyons, M. J. (2010). Marriage and divorce: A genetic perspective. Personality and Individual Differences. 49, 473-478. Smith, T. W., Berg, C. A., Florsheim, P., Uchino, B. N., Pearce, G., Hawkins, M., Henry, N. J. M., Beveridge, R. M., Skinner, M. A., & Cerny, C. O. (2009). Conflict and Collaboration in Middle-Aged and Older Couples: I. Age Differences in Agency and Communion During Marital Interaction. Psychology and Aging. 24, 259-273. Tharp, R. G. (1963). Psychological patterning in marriage. Psychological Bulletin. 60, 97-117. Weisfeld, G. E., Russel, R. J. H., Weisfeld, C. C. & Wells, P. A. (1992). Correlates of satisfaction in British marriages. Ethology and Sociobiology. 13, 125-145. Read More