Four Aspects of Loneliness - Term Paper Example

What really is loneliness and how does it differ from aloneness? Is loneliness a feeling? Is it a state of mind? Is it discontentment or sadness? Is it dependence? Is it fear or insecurity? Is it alienation or seclusion? How the word ‘lonely’ was coined? Loneliness cannot be defined although it can be described. It is a feeling, a state through which a person undergoes. The first record of the word ‘lonely’ being used was in a play by William Shakespeare (Wikipedia). Spitzberg & Canary (1985) state that lonely people tend to be deficient in communication skills and Perse & Rubin (1990) further explain that these deficiencies sever people from the very social activities that might reduce loneliness (cited by McCutcheon et al., 2004). Loneliness is more than communication skills and social activities.

The word ‘loneliness’ gives rise to a negative connotation but it is neither depression nor grief. Loneliness is the manifestation of fear and insecurity.  It would appear that a person is complete only in the company of others. A lonely person does not merely seek the company of people, he feels secluded, disconnected and alienated. Loneliness is the darkness in life. Such people reach the conclusion that it is impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. They depend upon the material world and the material pleasures to find a purpose in life.

Loneliness is not to be connected to others; loneliness is the inability to connect to your inner self. Loneliness is a painful, unwelcomed experience that has consequences detrimental to one's emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being (Ernst & Cacioppo, 1999; McWhirter, 1990, cited by Rokach, 2005). Weiss (1973) defines loneliness as a chronic, distressful mental state whereby an individual feels estranged from or rejected by peers and is starved for the emotional intimacy found in relationships and mutual activity (cited by Devereaux, n.d.).