Responsibility in Sexual Activity - Essay Example

Philosophy 5 Paul Hicks Word count Responsibility in Sexual Activity Introduction The debate as to who is responsible for sexual activity is becoming a major concern to many sociologists and philosophers. The debate has been exacerbated by the increase in teenage pregnancies, and cases of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) the world over. Research shows that a significant number of women and teenage girls become pregnant out of wedlock, with some ending up contracting sexually transmitted diseases (Hek and Hoggart 13). Nevertheless, it has not been clear to many as to who is responsible for the sexual activity. While some people argue that the responsibility for sexual activity lies solely with the woman, others feel that it lies with the man and yet others maintain that it lies with both partners. Julia Serano, for instance, maintains that women must take some responsibility for the way men behave. He argues that if women do not reward men love or sexual relationships, then men will become bad boys (Serano 16). This paper will first attempt to explore whether Serano is guilty of blame shift in light of sexual activity. Secondly, it will examine how responsible men and women are in sexual activity. Serano’s argument that women must take some responsibility for the way men behave has met serious opposition from many women who feel that men should be held responsible for their actions. Nevertheless, Serano’s assertions appear to reflect the reality in the contemporary society. This is because the behavior of a majority of men are shaped by how they are treated by their women. This means that if the women fail to fulfill the obligation conferred upon them by rewarding their men with love or a satisfying sexual relationship then the man will most likely not behave in the right way as emphasized by Evans (33). Love and sex are very crucial elements in any marriage and must be fulfilled by both partners (Hek and Hoggart 16). In this regard, men are expected to show love to their wives and be ready to play sex when need be. On the other hand,women, are ought to show their husbands love and reward them with sex for enjoyment and for procreation. However, just as Serano noted, a woman mostly takes the greater responsibility of their partner’s behaviors with regard to love and sex (Serano 21). In this regard, Hek and Hoggart note that men who are loved by their wives and rewarded with a good sexual relationship tend to become good men and stick to their relationships as opposed to seeking love and sex out of wedlock (18). In addition, such men also tend to show greater responsibility in the family because they are at peace in their marriage. On the other hand, men who are not rewarded by love and a healthy sexual relationship tend to become bad boys, just as Serano noted. This is because they feel that their feelings are not being met by their wives. As a result, they seek partners outside wedlock who will to reward them with love and sexual relationship that they so desire (Evans 33). In fact, research reveals that a majority of men whose wives are not willing to show love and offer fulfilling sex tend to have multiple partners outside wedlock (Evans 34). On the other hand, the men who enjoy loving and sexual relationships in marriage have low chances of seeking other relationships out of wedlock. The research shows the degree to which women have a responsibility over the behavior of men in light of love and sexual relationships, which affirms Serano’s argument (Serano 18). Therefore, women should endeavor to reward their men with love and affection if they expect their husbands to be respectful and responsible in marriage. Failure to fulfill these important obligations in marriage will make men become bad boys as noted by Serano (20). Therefore, Serano is not guilty whatsoever for the blame shift and women should accept the fact as it is in the society. They have to understand what men expect in a marriage for them to behave responsibly. This is because they expect their wives to show them affection and sexual relationship, which are very important in their lives. Failure to fulfill these obligations will only make them become bad boys, thereby showing that Serano is right and is therefore not guilty the blame shift according to Thomson and Scott (38). How responsible men and women are for sexual activity In many societies and cultures, sex is allowed only for married couples (Hoggart Par.3). As a result, many cultures forbid teenagers from having sex until marriage. Despite this being the case, there are numerous sexual relations that occur before marriage. This has led to increase cases of early pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, increased cases of abortions and other form of irresponsible sexual behaviors. Many researches have been conducted in an effort to ascertain the gender responsible for the sexual activity. This has led to differing opinions with some argue that responsibility lies solely with the woman while others feel it is the man (Hoggart Par.3). Some people, whoever, feel that both the man and the woman share the responsibility for sexual activity. It is vital to note that when a man and a woman come together as partners, they often do this out of free will without coercion. Nonetheless, the choice as to whether or not to have sex should be a resolution for both partners according to Chambers, Wakley, and Chambers (4). This is because both partners should be able to discuss at length and agree on whether it is right for both to engage in a sexual intercourse without coercion. This implies that the responsibility over sexual activity should be held by partners, man, and woman. Nevertheless, in the U.S. men have always bore the greatest responsibility of sexual intercourse according to Chambers, Wakley, and Chambers (4). In this case, law has always bent towards imposing stiffer penalties and punishments on men in cases involving sexual activity without taking into consideration who between man and woman is to blame for the act. It is true that men have a responsibility as far as sexual activity is concerned. Nevertheless, they responsibility they share almost equally with the women. For instance, men have been held responsible especially in rape cases where they are blamed for having forced the women into sex. In such a scenario, men are held responsible because they force the woman without the desire to have sex (Thomson and Scott 41). Apart from rape cases, are considered to have some responsibility in a sexual activity because research indicates that most sex intercourses are initiated by men due to their higher sex crave for women. As a result, some women just end up having sex merely because they do not want to disappoint their male partners despite their dislike according to Thomson and Scott (41). Research also indicates that men have a greater say than women do as far as safe sex is concerned. In most cases, men tend to bar their women partners in choosing whether to use a condom or any other safe sex method. As such, men determine substantially the modernity to use. However, Thomson and Scott note that a majority of men do not like using condoms during sexual intercourse, something that leads to several unwanted pregnancies in America (46). This has led to many cases of abortion being witnessed in many hospitals among teenagers. Most of the girls who have abortion claim that men as responsible for their own behavior because they do not like to use protection such as condom during sexual intercourse. As a result, they are obliged to take part in insecure sex just to keep their relationships. These scenarios show the extent to which men are responsible over sexual intercourse. Nevertheless, woman does share the responsibility in any given sexual activity. For instance, women share the greatest responsibility in any sexual intercourse that results into pregnancy. This is because before engaging in sexual intercourse, women have an absolute right to ‘say no’ when they believe that it is dangerous to engage in sexual activity. In fact, research shows that women have a greater likelihood of turning down sex than their male counterparts do. This implies that they are supposed to be held highly responsible in case they engage in a sexual activity that results into any pregnancy, whether the pregnancy was intended on not (Tabberer et al. 14). For instance, despite men having a higher craving for sex than women, the women are widely expected to say ‘no,’ when they feel that it is wrong to play sex. This is because it not easy for a man to know ovulation time when a woman can get pregnant. In addition, it is not something straightforward for a man to know t when a woman is in her periods, and when it is not safe to play sex. Nevertheless, many women tend to allow sex despite the situation. As a result, women do have a greater responsibility as far as pregnancy is concerned (Tabberer et al. 15). Incidences of rape cases have also shown that women are partly responsible for sexual activity. In this regard, research shows that a majority of women who are raped are those who in one way of the other trigger the activity themselves. The dressing that the woman wars has been reported as a significant contributor of rape cases. This is because records show that most women who are raped are noted to have been indecently dressed somehow in order to entice men to sex. This is by either dressing half necked, which naturally results into sexual desire. As such, women are to bear the greatest responsibility for rape cases since they are the ones who entice men by dressing indecently thereby resulting in rape (Thomson and Scott 46). It is also an acknowledged that a woman has a lot of control as to whether a sex will occur or not (Chambers, Wakley, and Chambers 6). For instance, there have been many cases where woman end up engaging in sexual intercourse with adolescent boys. Certainly, such sexual intercourses are aided by the women themselves, showing how much they are responsible for sexual activity. This is because it is not right for such women to argue that they have been forced into such a sexual activity since it is them who have a greater control over the sexual activity than the male adolescent who will only engage in sex because of being overwhelmed by surging hormones according to Bancroft (175). Moreover, as much as men tend to dominate women in making choices whether to use protection in sex, women also have a say because they are the one who determine whether sex will occur or not. As such, they have a right to decline advances for sexual intercourse, which they believe put their lives at risk of either becoming pregnant or contacting sexually transmitted disease due to failure to use protection during sexual intercourse. Therefore, women become partly responsible for any sexual activity that is engaged in without the use of protection. There is no way a woman can direct all the blame to the man when she has greater control as to whether sex can occur or not (Hoggart par.6). Conclusion Certainly, love and sex are very important aspects in any person’s life and must be rewarded whenever necessary. Love and sex are particularly important to men because it determines the behavior of men in any given marriage. Therefore, Just as Serano noted, it is important for women to reward their husbands with love and affection if they expect them to remain faithful and responsible people in the family. This is because failure to do this is likely to make them become bad boys. However, it is evident that as much as men are responsible for sexual activity, women too are also responsible as far as sexual activity is concerned. It is, therefore, imperative that each case involving a sexual activity be considered in its own merit to determine who between man and woman is most responsible. Work Cited Bancroft, John. Human Sexuality and Its Problems. Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning. 2009. Print. Chambers, Ruth, Wakley, Gill & Chambers, Steph. Tackling teenage pregnancy: Sex, culture and needs. Abingdon: Radcliffe Medical Press. 2001. Print. Evans, Mary. Introducing contemporary feminist thought. Upper Saddle River, NJ. Polity Press. 1997. Print. Hek, Rachel & Hoggart, Lesley. Young women, sex and choices: A study of young motherhood in Shropshire. Middlesex: Telford and Wrekin Primary Care Trust and Middlesex University. 2004. Print. Hoggart, Lesley. Risk: Young Women and Sexual Decision-Making. Open Journal Systems, Volume 7, No. 1, Art. 28 – January 2006. Print. Serano, Julia. Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Feminity. New York, NY: Seal Press. 2007. Print. Tabberer, Sharon, Hall, Christine, Prendergast, Shirley & Webster, Andrew. Teenage pregnancy and choice. New York, NY: Joseph Rowntree Foundation. 2000. Print. Thomson, Rachel & Scott, Sue. Learning about sex: Young women and the social construction of sexual identity. London: The Tufnell Press. 1991. Print. Read More