Sex and Sexual Activity of Women - Essay Example

Your Full Your WMNST 100 October 4, Critical Reflection Essay Even though a lot of variant views are held by our societies when it comes to “sex” and “sexual activity” of women, not enough care has been given to define just what exactly having sex is and what it entails. Mostly, society goes by the heterosexual definition of it, but even then it is not clear as to what exactly would fall under the category of having sex (even though, mostly it is considered to be the penetration of vagina through a penis). When it comes to sexual freedom of women, there is still a long way for feminism to go. Bell hooks states that it is because feminism questioned the prevalent sexual norms that women were sexually liberated, and had sexual freedoms that seem so commonplace to us – dependable birth control being one such thing whereby having sex need not be a life-long responsibility in the shape of a pregnancy (85-86). However, it is imperative that sexual freedom not be confused with sexual integrity. Sexual integrity entails that you respect yourself and your body and do not crumble to the societal pressure of having a sexual partner or a spouse in order to feel fulfilled. What is more, it is also linked with sexual freedom in the sense that a woman should not feel ashamed of making her sexual needs be known to her partner, as she is just as worthy of a “man” to have her sexual needs met. There is a need to define sexual intimacies, and sex itself, in more ways than the compulsive heterosexual way society does it right now. Such practices are still found in the sexual practices of our society. Men and their sexual needs are still given more importance, and sex is defined from a masculine, heterosexual viewpoint still. I found it particularly interesting when I read that “foreplay” or acts that lead up to sex in heterosexual couples are not considered to be “sex” per se (Shaw and Lee 175), especially when one keeps in mind that these are often acts that heterosexual women enjoy the most. But since there is no vaginal-penile intercourse, it cannot be termed sex. It is absurd when one considers homosexual sex, especially that between lesbians, and tries to define sex still in terms of vaginal-penile penetration. When it comes to the disparate importance given to the sexual needs of a woman and a man in a relationship, feminism has a long way to go. Even though, in a heterosexual relationship, there exist a defined discrimination and a misbalance of power in favor of men, it is clear that such a misbalance exists in homosexual relationships too, thereby pointing at the insidious nature of the cultural norm of there being a dominant and a submissive party in any given relationship. Feminism has brought many issues to the forefront, including the rights of bisexuals as well as homosexuals to have their status recognized in the society and for them not to be defined in heterosexual terms. But, even today not only are non-heterosexual people discriminated against worldwide, (as is also evident from the parts of World Report 2010 cited by Shaw and Lee 168-169), but their very existence is defined in heterosexual terms. It is not limited to their sexual life alone, but it encompasses all parts of their life. This is also evident when people still insist on asking which person is the “husband” and which one is the “wife” (Shapiro) when they meet a homosexual couple, clearly demonstrating the societal insistence on a heterosexual definition of marriage. It is all the more interesting when it is seen in the light of the power play that occurs in most heterosexual marriages, where the wife is the submissive party dominated by her husband; this shows a macabre curiosity on the part of the person who poses question whereby he wants to know that since there is no gender difference between the couple, how do they decide which party is the dominant one (or the husband). To extend on what bell hooks said about sexual integrity and sexual freedom being different but not anathema to one another, I have noticed that society still has a very negative attitude about a woman who possesses and utilizes sexual freedom. It is often thought that a woman who is sex-positive, so to speak, especially if she practices non-traditional forms of sex, is considered to be “easy” or “up for it”. Clarisse Thorn, a BDSM educator and activist, has had men grope her because they think that because she talks about such “taboos” so openly, she does not have any sexual integrity or boundaries (Thorn), what is more, she says that it is not only society in general, but even radical feminists who consider sexually free women to be synonymous to “freely sexually available”. It is not the same when it comes to sexually free men; no such availability is ascribed to men who practice their sexual freedom. With the current onslaught of bringing the “traditional” values of sexuality back into the mainstream and limiting the sexual freedom that women gained through feminism, and with more and more onslaughts on this freedom, it is imperative that the feminist movement rally together and gives back the women the right and freedom to choose when and where to have sex without having any judgment being passed on them and their morality. It is important for women to stop society from judging their morality through their sexual activity; women have come a long way to end this masculine domination on their sexual freedom, and we need to ensure that this freedom is not taken away from us again. Works Cited hooks, bell. Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge: South End Press, 2000. Print. Shapiro, Ari. “Gay Marriage and the Evolving Language of Love.” NPR: National Public Radio. 29 Mar. 2013. Web. October 3 2013. http://www.npr.org/2013/03/30/175682777/gay-marriage-and-the-evolving-language-of-love Shaw, Susan, and Janet Lee. Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings. 5th ed. New York: McGraw Hill, 2012. Print. Thorn, Clarisse. “Sex-positive Women aren’t Out to Steal your Man.” Clarisse Thorn. 30 Dec. 2009. Web. October 3 2013. http://clarissethorn.com/2009/12/30/sex-positive-women-arent-out-to-steal-your-man/ Read More