Ideas of Parenting in the Western and Chinese Cultures - Essay Example

Ideas of Parenting [The of the will appear here] [The of the will appear here] Introduction The Western and Chinese cultures differ on many points. Both the Western and Chinese have very different lifestyles and many of these differences rise as a result of different mind sets. In the article, Why Chinese Mothers are superior, Amy Chua brings forth the differences in the parenting styles among Chinese and Western mothers. She claims that Chinese parents are more successful at raising perfect children as compared to Western parents. This claim is refuted by Hanna Rosin in her article, Mother Inferior. Rosin supports the Western parenting style. In this paper, a comparison will be developed between the parenting styles of both the Western and Chinese parent as seen from the perspective of the two authors. The paper does not claim that any style of parenting is better but rather that each can learn something from the other. A balance between the two styles could help achieve the best parenting style. Discussion The Chinese parenting style is quite strict., Chinese parents have strong expectations from their children and they ensure that their children come up to these expectations. For this reason, the Chinese are expected to follow the guides laid down by the parents and these guides often leave no room for fun. Chinese children are expected to have fun from the activities that their parents decide for them. Chu defines the limitations on children by stating that Chinese children are not supposed to attend sleepovers. They cannot participate in any plays or many extracurricular activities at school. They cannot have a play date and they cannot watch television or play games (Chu, 2011). On the other side of the spectrum, Western children are allowed to participate in as many extracurricular activities as they want. Their parents, in fact, encourage children to participate in activities and events outside the academic curriculum. According to Rosin, children need to lighten up and roam free, to express themselves in ways not dictated by their uptight, over-invested parents (Rosin, 2011). Both Chu and Rosin want the best for their children and are thinking through their own perspectives and cultural lens. A balance between these two styles would be best. While children should be allowed to roam free and express themselves, it is also important to ensure that children are motivated in a positive direction. If you allow a children to watch television without controlling what he sees, there is a lot that he will be exposed to. All this exposure may not be positive for him at his age and the role of parents here is to monitor and control what their children see on television. This, however, does not mean that parents should not allow their children to watch television or play games. Another manner in which Chinese parents differ from Western parent is the way in which parents teach their children. Chinese parents highly stress the importance of grades on their children. They do not accept anything less than A from their children. For them, getting an A is a the sign of failure. Other than academics, Chinese children are only allowed to play violin and piano; but not just play it but master it perfectly. For this, children are expected to practice this for eight hours (Chu, 2011). Rosin, in her articles, condones the above practices empathically. She argues that instead of strictly controlling the skills that children master, parents should let their children show skill and interest in something before pushing him to adopt that skill permanently. Rosin, further argues that Chinese children sometimes grow up to hate piano and violin for the simple reason that they were pushed too far to excel in the skill (Rosin, 2011). Rosins argument makes sense here. The Chinese ideology is very narrow and does not take into consideration the fact that other sports and skills are equally important. Too many Mozarts would ruin the charm of the violin. The world equally needs Mozart and Messi to entertain them. Children should be allowed to show interest in a skill because being forced into a direction. However, when they do show interest in a skill, they must be forced to practice that skill. Interest and talent only is not enough to churn out geniuses. It is only through practice that a football player can win Football World cups. Chu makes a point when she says that one or two hour practice is not enough. Children should understand that perfecting a skill would not always be fun but requires perseverance and hard work. Reinforcement is vital for the children. Another interesting observation that Amy Chu makes about Chinese parents is that they are direct with their children. They feel no pain or regret in calling their children fat, lazy or any other word that they may find fitting. Chinese parents are direct with their children and they can order their children. Chinese parents are not concerned with developing the self-esteem of their children in the same way that Western parents do. They assume that being cautious around the children in the use of words would yield fragile children (Chu, 2011). Rosin agrees that Western parents are highly concerned about the self esteem of their children. She disdains the act of calling children names in order to motivate them to lose weight or to motivate them to take academic life seriously (Rosin, 2011). Calling children names is not the right thing to do. This does in fact negatively affect the childs self-esteem. But it is important to be honest to the children. If children are gaining too much weight, their eating habits should be monitored. It is important to relate to the child that gaining too much weight would present a problem to them in the future. While a childs self-esteem is important, it should also be kept in mind that they would be called fatty by the peers. Therefore, here again, a balance is needed to ensure good parenting. Conclusion Amy Chu and Hanna Rosin are parents who are limited to the parenting style that their culture endorses. Chu does not respect the permissive western parenting style while Rosin openly rejects the demanding eastern parenting style. However, much can be achieved when parents take inspiration from both the parenting styles; in the end both parents have the best of their children in mind. Allowing the children to explore is important but it is equally important to control children. Children should be allowed to chose the skill they want to pursue but parents should be there to reinforce the importance of hard work and practice. Honesty is important and so is self-esteem. In the end, parents should be open to a mix of parenting styles and love their children above all. References Chua, A. (2011) Why Chinese Mothers are superior, The Wall Street Journal, Retrieved from http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754?mg=reno64-wsj&url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2FSB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html Rosin, H. (2011) Mother Inferior? The Wall Street Journal, Retrieved from http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748703959104576082434187716252?mg=reno64-wsj&url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2FSB10001424052748703959104576082434187716252.html Read More