First Day at the University - Essay Example

February 3, First Day at the Communicating as a mate My first day of school is filled with enthusiasm and nervousness. I usedJohns Model of Reflection to help me analyse my experiences during this day and to reflect on the processes and outcomes of my communication style and actions. The model is useful in engaging critical reflection that will examine and resolve communication issues (McLure, 2011, p.3). Description of the Experience I will focus on the paired activity where we discussed how we speak with other people. I honestly thought that the pair discussion went well, until afterwards, while outside the class, I overheard a comment about me. One of my pair’s friends commented that I did not give enough time for my partner to speak out. I was surprised and I reflected if I did hinder my partner’s communication in any way and why I did not become more aware of it. Using Johns Model, the significant factors that might have affected the experience (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2) were the limited time of the discussion, my extrovert personality, and my impatience in waiting for others to express themselves. Time was limited and I felt the pressure to rush the process of the discussion to get the results of how to speak with others. In addition, I am a friendly person and I like talking to people, which can seem like dominating conversations. In my mind, I also want to motivate others to speak by talking about my experiences, but this does not work all the time. Furthermore, I was a bit impatient in waiting for my partner to speak up. I think I do not know how to deal with shy or introvert people as much as I would like to admit because I am unsure if and when silence is something good in conversations when dealing with strangers. Reflection The next stage for the model is reflection on what I was trying to achieve and the consequences of my goals and actions (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). My goals then were to express my ideas and issues about communication and to ensure that I can also learn from my partner. My constraints were time and the potentially different communication styles that we have. Time can be an obstacle to effective communication if it becomes a source of pressure to attain fast outcomes (Bruhn, 2011, p.278). Differences in communication styles can also lead to incorrect interpretations of verbal and non-verbal expressions (Solomon and Theiss, 2013, p.360). As for the consequences, I probably did not give my partner enough time to be able to fully express her ideas and opinions. I can be quite outcome-oriented, which can make me vulnerable to time pressures (Bruhn, 2011, p.278). Furthermore, I had misinterpreted her silence for approval or lack of enthusiasm. I think that she is the kind of person who practices avoiding style when it comes to conflict (Solomon and Theiss, 2013, p.360). Instead of telling me that there is something wrong, she does not say anything (Solomon and Theiss, 2013, p.360). As a result, there is a feeling of anxiety on her part that I did not notice and respond to. Influencing Factors The subsequent stage of the model is the analysis of influencing factors, including the internal and external factors and knowledge that affected my decision-making (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). I believe, as I mentioned, that the external factors were time constraints, the competitiveness in the atmosphere among some students, and ability of the lecturer to encourage students to speak up. Time is an essential factor that tends to be neglected in analysing communication issues (Bruhn, 2011, p.278). Time pressures can also affect how I express myself and interact with others. Furthermore, competitiveness can interfere with effective communication if it results to unresolved conflicts (Wood, 2013, p.178). I might be feeling the pressure of increasing the quantity of our discussion output due to the atmosphere of competitiveness. As for the other internal factors, my extrovert personality and inability to handle slow responses or shyness in others can also deter me from fully understanding the needs and concerns of my partner. For the influencing factor of knowledge, I realised I have more to know about my communication style and interpersonal skills, so that I can improve them further. Could I Have Dealt with It Better? After the analysis of influencing factors, the next step is asking about other choices and their consequences (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). Now that I think about it, I know that I should have done better as a communicator. To manage time further, we could have broken down the assignment into manageable tasks. I should have taken down notes or done something else to encourage my partner to be confident in speaking more. Self-disclosure, after all, is based on building and maintaining trust (Wood, 2013, p.198). I should have probed deeper into her personality, hobbies, and interests that can also make her feel more comfortable in sharing her opinions and ideas. Silence, furthermore, in this case, is an important part of communication that I should learn to interpret properly given internal and external variables (Wood, 2013, p.25). The consequences of these options are better collaboration and openness in our pair. Learning The final stage of the model is learning. Learning is about knowing how I feel and how I will change because of the experience (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). I have to examine how this experience changed my ways of knowing (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). Empirics refer to scientific knowledge (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). I can have a more scientific approach to studying communication by starting with questions that understand my assumptions and biases about communication. These biases can impact how I see and understand verbal and non-verbal cues (Solomon and Theiss, 2013, p.76). Ethics refers to moral knowledge (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). I understand that it is not right to be too demanding of others or too dominating of conversations. I have the best intentions at heart for getting the needed outcomes for the discussion, but I forgot that I should also be mindful of the process of attaining these outcomes. The personal section of this part refers to self-awareness (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). I have to be more aware of my exuberance in speaking. I should learn how to read silence that can have different meanings across cultures and individuals (Wood, 2013, p.25). Aesthetics is the art of what we do and our own experiences (University of Cumbria, 2014b, p.2). I want to become more analytical of myself and my communication experiences. I learned that communication is a learning process and that I am now more engaged in improving my communication competency. February 24, 2014 Workplace Interactions: Communicating with Superiors I applied Gibb’s 1988 Reflective Cycle because it provides sufficient steps in analysing the process and outcomes of communication issues (Moon, 1999, p.73). These steps also include conclusion and action plan that connects learning with future actions that will enhance my communication competency. In addition, Gibb’s model helps me see what I am trying to learn as a communicator and how I can do better next time (Moon, 1999, p.167). Description For this day, I learned how to identify key communication skills. I related these communication skills with my experience of communicating with a manager who wrongfully accused me of doing something that I did not do. His accusations upset me so deeply that I found myself shouting and crying whilst I was talking with him. The more I showed emotional outbursts, the more he showed calm and control, which infuriated me further. Feelings During this time, I felt angry and frustrated. I felt angry that the manager would even think of accusing me. I was also frustrated because of my inability to control my emotions. I used to think that I can control my emotions quite well, but this experience showed that I can have pent-up emotions that could burst when people provoke me. In addition, I thought about my use of non-verbal expressions and where I went amiss. Apparently, because of my African culture, I am not used to direct eye contact when speaking with older people or people with authority, such as my manager. This lack of eye contact must have made me less capable of handling the direct eye contact of my manager. Evaluation I reacted to the situation in a way that the conflict was not properly resolved. Eye contact was a particular source of communication obstacle. Eye contact practices reflect cultural beliefs and values (Wood, 2013, p.124). In North America and other European cultures, assertiveness and frankness are highly valued, and maintaining eye contact is considered a hallmark of honesty (Wood, 2013, p.124). My African values, however, taught me to not have direct eye contact with people of power. As a result, my manager might have seen my lack of eye contact as a sign of insincerity (Wood, 2013, p.124). Clashing cultural values may have led to our communication breakdown. In addition, I was unable to control my emotions. I immediately felt angry and responded too emotionally without thinking critically. If I did not do anything wrong, I should have remained in control and used my emotions more productively through expressing them in a more positive way, such as saying, instead of showing, how upset I was (Wood, 2013, p.187). This situation reveals that the management of strong emotions is one of my communication weaknesses (Wood, 2013, p.187). The effect of this reaction on the manager was the misconception that I was not a professional when dealing with conflicts and that I did not know how to manage my emotions. Analysis What might have helped the proper response to the manager were better multicultural communication skills and emotion and conflict management skills. What people think they should feel toward others during different conditions is shaped through their cultural knowledge and practices (Wood, 2013, p.176). My culture significantly affected how I interact and communicate with others. My African values taught me to show respect to authorities through not having eye-to-eye contact with superiors, especially when they are angry already. As a result, the manager mistook my submission to his authority as insincerity or dishonesty. He also saw it as lack of professionalism. I need to learn more about how cultural differences affect communication norms, standards, and practices, so that I can use the right communication practices (Solomon and Theiss, 2013, p.40). In addition, I should have handled the situation more properly with improvements in emotion and conflict management skills. I should learn more on how I can cope with difficult situations that trigger strong emotions from me and from others (Wood, 2013, p.187). Related to emotion management is conflict management. If I had conflict resolution skills, I should have prepared ways of handling these accusations and ways of defending myself in a persuasive and professional manner (Wood, 2013, p.187). Action Plan Strong emotions are not necessarily negative factors of communication, unless, I let them conquer my ability to think rationally and to react professionally (Wood, 2013, p.187). This experience highlighted that I should work on my knowledge of key communication skills. I must learn more about cultural differences that impact verbal and non-verbal expressions, so that I can improve how I convey my ideas and feelings more appropriately across different cultural groups (Wood, 2013, p.124). In other words, I should know how to shift my actions and words when dealing with different cultural identities. Furthermore, I should hone my emotion management and conflict management skills. I intend to attend workshops on these skills, so that I can handle diverse emotion-filled conflicts. March 14, 2014 Non-Verbal Communications: Communicating with Strangers On this day, I experienced difficulties in handling suspicious behaviours from another cultural group. I applied Gibb’s 1988 Reflective Cycle because its steps helped me to fully analyse the communication situation and to attain experiential learning (Moon, 1999, p.73). Through these steps, I learn more about myself and how I can improve my communication weaknesses. Description After my classes, I rode the bus at around 10 PM. I was listening to music using my mobile phone and a headset. I noticed a group of young, black Turkish boys looking at me. At first, I thought that maybe they were looking at something or someone behind me, but later on, I felt that they were looking at me. I could see them whispering at each other and talking in their native tongue. They kept on looking back, which made me feel nervous and suspicious because I was a lone woman. I decided to move to the lower deck of the bus, where they could not see me. A few minutes later, I heard footsteps going down. They were the boys again. One of them approached me and said: “Are you alright?” I answered uneasily: “Yeah, why?” He said: “We thought you were our friend’s lost sister. Sorry to disturb you.” The bus stopped and they left together. Feelings I felt uneasiness during this time because I had a bad experience years ago with a group of young Turks. They stole my mobile phone while I was eating outside a fast food chain. The traumatic experience created racial prejudice to some extent. In addition, I was thinking about my safety. I thought about what I would do if they did something bad to me. I felt vulnerable and scared because I realised that they outnumbered me. I did not like knowing powerlessness and I wished I was with a classmate or a friend. Evaluation Non-verbal communication is essential in fully understanding the feelings and actions of others (West and Turner, 2011, p.153). I reacted to the situation using my understanding of non-verbal communication cues. When they looked at me, I sensed that their staring had a negative connotation. They were strangers to me and they were young and numerous, so my racial prejudice had been activated. When their eyes shifted to one another, I interpreted it as planning against me. When they nodded and looked serious, I saw that as group approval for a future action. What was bad in this experience was that I let my racial prejudice get the best of me. I realised that I practiced static evaluation when my perceptions did not change despite years of not confirming or disconfirming them (West and Turner, 2011, p.136). Static evaluation is not a good way of forming general impressions because they can lead to negative stereotypes about certain people. Furthermore, I became aware of polarisation of attitudes that resulted to “either-or” ideas about others (West and Turner, 2011, p.136). The more that I do not know how racial groups communicate, the more that I make myself vulnerable to making incorrect generalisations. Analysis The factors that hindered effective communication between strangers are lack of interaction and racial prejudice. Little interaction among groups can result to the formation of inaccurate judgments (West and Turner, 2011, p.136). These judgments take a negative dimension if they are based on a few instances of bad events. In addition, racial prejudice arises from poor or lack of interactions and generalisations (Solomon and Theiss, 2013, p.149). Racial attitudes can impact the interpretation of non-verbal expressions. In this case, I ascribed negative meaning inaccurately. Furthermore, what could have helped is that I should have stayed calm, though prepared to defend myself. I would still go to the lower deck if I felt threatened. However, I will restrain from thinking the worst of people. I can avoid polarisation through not lumping negative experiences and treating them as general attributes of a specific group. I should also reject static evaluation because people change and strangers are not alike. Conclusion The scenario is a product of misconceptions and misunderstanding. I could have handled the situation differently if I did not have past negative experiences. In addition, it would help to expand my range of friends to include different cultures. Attending cultural awareness programs and activities can help improve my knowledge of communication patterns across racial groups too. Finally, I learned that non-verbal expressions can have different meanings. I should be careful of racial profiling in my assessment of non-verbal cues. Action Plan My action plan consists of expanding interactions and knowledge of diverse cultures. I aim to know more about other cultures I am not familiar with by attending their cultural events and expanding my set of friends. I believe that the best way to learn about other people intimately as friends is to share social experiences with them. Participating in different cultural social events can improve how I handle different scenarios that may be stressful or threatening to me. March 24, 2014 Role-Playing: Communicating as a Manager On this day, we had role-playing where I served as the manager of two employees who were not getting along. I applied Gibb’s 1988 Reflective Cycle because it has a good structure for reflection with its 6 steps. These steps helped me to fully analyse the communication situation and to attain experiential learning (Moon, 1999, p.73). Description The first step is description of the situation (University of Cumbria, 2014a, p.1). We had role playing to determine communication issues and to know more about our communication styles. As a manager, I investigated the causes of conflicts between two colleagues. I learned that they feel the pressures of delays in performance and that they were making personal attacks on each other. They were angry at each other for not doing enough for the team. Feelings The second step is analysis of thoughts and feelings (University of Cumbria, 2014a, p.1). I did not think I understood the extent of these employees’ differences and their causes, however. I felt confused about the causes of their concerns. They both knew that they must finish the job together, or else, they could never get the project done. I thought that the workplace drama was unimportant to the greater goals at hand because too much emotion can hinder effective communication (Wood, 2013, p.177). Furthermore, I thought about my own interpersonal skills. I asked myself: Do I also engage in emotional outbursts? Do I get so angry with my peers or team members that I can hardly get my job done? I wanted to know more about how my employees felt, but I think I failed in understanding them more because I assumed that emotions have no place in a professional work environment. Evaluation The third step is evaluation of what was good and bad about the experience (University of Cumbria, 2014a, p.2). What went well was that I considered non-verbal communication skills in understanding my employees. Non-verbal communication is essential in fully understanding the feelings and actions of others (West and Turner, 2011, p.153). I took note of their eye movements, postures, facial expressions, and gestures. I responded effectively to these non-verbal expressions because they signalled to me when I have to slow down because people were getting anxious and when to prod further to get more answers. I also did my best to express myself well. I articulated my concerns and solutions with evidence, such as examples and stories. As for what was bad with the experience, I learned that I neglected further questions that could have examined the root causes of the conflict. The feedback from my tutor also noted that I should have also allowed others to express themselves more to explore the problems and resolution opportunities further. Gibb’s 1988 Reflective Cycle is an important model that opens my mind to my strengths and weaknesses as a communicator. I realised I still have more work to do on my dominating communication style. Analysis The fourth step is analysis and considering what might have helped or hindered the communication difficulties I experienced (University of Cumbria, 2014a, p.2). I believe that I have overestimated the value of verbal communication in facilitating the discussion. Even if I tried my best to use non-verbal communication as a communicator and in understanding my employees, I was not able to maximise it in exploring the communication issues of the team further. Non-verbal communication affects how relationships are made, maintained, and ended (West and Turner, 2011, p.153). I should have used non-verbal communication to facilitate greater communication analysis. If I saw anxiety in their eyes, I should have waited or paused to show them that I was waiting for their responses, and that I did not mind to take my time to listen to them. Non-verbal cues can send an effective message to others in demonstrating that I am listening to them in an empathic and reflective manner (West and Turner, 2011, p.189). These cues can improve the progress of the discussion and establish trust and rapport along the way. Conclusion The fifth step is conclusion that acknowledges things that have been done better and my learning (University of Cumbria, 2014a, p.2). On a positive note, I value non-verbal expressions and how they can be more accurate in understanding or confirming than what people are saying (West and Turner, 2011, p.155). If there is ambiguity between speech and non-verbal cues, non-verbal expression can help verify what people are saying (West and Turner, 2011, p.155). In addition, non-verbal communication can also say something about what people are not saying. Their silence can mean forced submission or anxiety or conflict avoidance, for instance. Still, I understand that I want to be more sensitive of how I speak, especially whether I speak to help others speak out, or to merely resolve problems hastily. Action Plan The sixth step is the action plan that sums everything I need to know and target improvements (University of Cumbria, 2014a, p.2). I intend to hone my interpersonal communication skills through the class and changing how I speak and interact with other people. Furthermore, I want to study further the process of facilitation of dyads or groups in conflict. I want to become more self-aware on how I can stimulate conversations and how to encourage rapport and to build trust, so as to diffuse tension and to facilitate discussions (Moon, 1999, p.85). In addition, I will take trainings or seminars in conflict resolution or conflict management. These trainings will help improve how I help my team resolve their conflicts too. WORD COUNT: 3,718 words Reference List Bruhn, J.G., 2011. The sociology of community connections. 2nd edn. London: Springer. McLure, P., 2011. Reflection on practice. [Online]. [Accessed 14 July 2014]. Available from: http://cw.routledge.com/textbooks/9780415537902/data/learning/8_Reflection%20in%20Practice.pdf Moon, J.A., 1999. Reflection in learning and professional development: theory and practice. New York: Kogan. Solomon, D. and Theiss, J., 2013. Interpersonal communication: putting theory into practice. New York: Routledge. University of Cumbria, 2014a. Gibb’s 1988 Reflective Cycle. University of Cumbria, 2014b. Johns Model of Reflection. West, R. and Turner, L., 2011. Understanding interpersonal communication: making choices in changing times. 2nd edn. Massachusetts: Wadsworth. Wood, J., 2013. Interpersonal communication: everyday encounters. 7th edn. Massachusetts: Wadsworth. Read More