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Feedback to the previous 2 argument design paper's comments - Essay Example

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I was required to explore and understand all the issues and concepts in the topic questions and develop a position backed by evidence in the literature provided. The position was to be developed after careful analysis of all participants, places, facts, and the role of the main…
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Feedback to the previous 2 argument design papers comments
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Running head: Argument Design Papers Comments Feedback to the Previous 2 Argument Design Papers Comments Insert Insert Grade Insert s Name
31 May 2012
I was required to explore and understand all the issues and concepts in the topic questions and develop a position backed by evidence in the literature provided. The position was to be developed after careful analysis of all participants, places, facts, and the role of the main characters. The position was to be presented in an argumentative paper well organized and structured with evidence supporting the key determinants of my position. All the argument design papers were to have suitable conclusions that related to the main argument in the papers. Presentation of bibliography was correct and orderly.
Mao’s Vision for China Was Utopian
In this argument paper, I used the necessary evidence to support my position, but did not define utopianism. My choice of language did not clearly put my supported position, which was a considerable flaw of my initial argument design paper. The paper was not argumentative, and I failed to use the necessary structure and format to make my writing an argumentative paper as I did not correctly highlight the concept, argument, evidence and conclusion. I used exceptionally good grammatical language though it had some minor errors in the paper, which could have been avoided by being keen.
With the teacher’s comment, I was able to correct wrongly presented evidence. In my original argument design paper, I had stated that CCP required intensive and extensive ideological work among the peasants which was not necessarily the truth as they needed to work on some sections of the bourgeoisie, the intellectuals, and upper class people. By highlighting that the paper failed to qualify as an ADP, I carefully restructured my paper and presentation of the evidence to finally write a persuasive argumentative paper. The teacher’s comments highlighted weaknesses in my paper, which helped me write better by going over the literature again making me understand some key concepts I had overlooked.
Which Factors Should Decide the Status of China’s Minorities?
I wrote a good argumentative paper with superb presentation of evidence but failed to write a satisfactory conclusion. I used outdated evidence, which is not acceptable, and the paper had some grammatical mistakes.
With the teacher’s comments, I was able to correctly write some of the statements with all the necessary information that I had omitted. I corrected the grammatical mistakes and paraphrased some of the sentences to make them have more impact and meaning. I corrected the weaknesses in my conclusion that were occasioned by the wrong choice of words, tense and sentence structure and was able to write a persuasive conclusion. I also removed the wrongly used bibliography.
The teacher’s input and comments on my argument design papers have helped me understand the correct way of writing these papers. It also helps in correctly analyzing the information and evidence and explaining the key ideologies of the paper, which is fundamental for one to understand the written paper. With this type of guidance, I was able to know where I was off track and the necessary way to correct my mistakes. Read More
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