Compulsory Monogamy and Unwilling Individuals - Essay Example

Compulsory Monogamy and Unwilling Individuals The idea that monogamy is less than optional constitutes compulsory monogamy. In earlier years, monogamy was mostly for women only where they were viewed as essential property for reproduction. Even up to the present day, monogamy is much harder on women than it is on men. Men having sexual relationships with more than one woman are more common than the other way round. There are situations where men are expected to sleep around whereas women are not. This, to some extend, displays some cultural substandard in the society. It is important to note here that there are some people who practice non-monogamy or polyamory as a choice of their lifestyle or status in the society (Burston 12). Monogamy is mostly not a choice as the systems of cultural conformity tend to make us believe. This can be evidenced when someone tries to do something out of monogamy and he or she faces numerous forms of resistance. The legal arrangements almost allover the world is pro monogamy. Those who tend to go astray from these institutional arrangements are punished in one way or another. Legal marriage, for example, does not adapt non-monogamy neither does divorce and custody courts. The courts will even punish this both financially and denying custody of children to the party which went astray from monogamy (Wardle 43). In the social setting, a non-monogamy arrangement is considered immoral. This is a result of the heavy social pressure where everyone is expected to be monogamous. In some cases, a person can be disqualified from public office when they admit that they are non-monogamous. The society has, therefore, put a lot of pressure onto the practice of monogamy such that any other arrangement is considered cheating. The guilt that accompanies non-monogamy arrangements is felt even in those places where non-monogamy is fine (Wardle 49). There is a class of people opposed to compulsory monogamy. Among them are the sex workers. Whether they are male or female, sex workers are considered by our culture and the society at large as impure, and they face lots of stigma as a consequence (Bax 12). They are, therefore, not viewed as fit for a monogamous relationship. Governments even criminalize any sex worker relationships be it exploitative or not. This can be evidenced by the passage of anti-pimping laws aiming at criminalizing the act of benefiting from proceeds of sex work even when one is not the sex worker (Burston 67). Men who are in gay relationships often face promiscuity allegations from all corners. These allegations are mostly based on notions of sexuality. The society, under the principles of compulsory monogamy, believes that gay men cannot be integrated into the normal monogamous society. They are believed to be diseased and a not happy lot. This has been seen in the fights that occur over same-sex marriages. The conservative lot, which believes in heterosexual monogamy, argues that if gay marriages and relationships are allowed, then necrophilia and bestiality in addition to polygamy will surely follow along (Wardle 83). Others opposed to compulsory monogamy and associated to non-monogamy are the bisexuals. This group of people, similarly to the gay men, is viewed by the society as untrustworthy, diseased, dissatisfied and sexually out of control. This group of people is, therefore, constantly stigmatized by the assumptions of compulsory monogamy. Women, more than men, tend to be victims of compulsory monogamy in any setting of the society. In the earlier years when women were viewed only as property, it was considered bad to let anyone play with your property. In fact, most non-monogamous epithets such as “whore”, “easy” and “tramp” are mostly gendered against women. In accordance with compulsory monogamy, some women are viewed as worthy and pure whereas others are considered to be having too much sex. The society tends to think that women always want monogamy. This assumption is however incorrect (Burston 98). The habit of cheating, whether in a monogamous marriage, engagement or any other relationship, tends to be translated to disease. This has been evidenced mostly in Afro-American and Latino-American communities where men were believed to sleep with other men (Robinson 342). These men were believed to have wives, girlfriends or spouses who did not know about their episodes with other men. In such cases, the society jumps into conclusions that non-monogamous men are just in the habit of cheating and consequently spreading diseases, especially the sexually transmitted infections (Wardle 56). Wealthy people also tend to be opposed to the practice of compulsory monogamy. They view their ability to provide for more than one as a license to enter into non-monogamous arrangements. They practice such behaviors for varied reasons. Whereas some of them seek variety and happiness, others view it as a sign of social status. In some communities, a polygamous man is highly respected and viewed as a real champion for his ability to take care of more than one spouse. Others consider themselves as way above the confines of compulsory monogamy and its practices. To them, compulsory monogamy is for who cannot afford a non-monogamous arrangement. The society should not continue to enforce compulsory monogamy on unwilling individuals any more. This is because non-monogamy does not necessarily boil down to cheating, immorality or spread of disease. Some of those opposed to compulsory monogamy argue that they can be in a non-monogamous arrangement as long as they can sufficiently provide for all. This is common in cases where men, especially the wealthy and high in political and social status, go for multiple wives or spouse (Wardle 43). The enforcement of compulsory monogamy has resulted in a lot of stigmatization towards groups of people in non-monogamous arrangements. These include the sex workers, gay and bisexual people (Kilbride 9). As a consequence of this stigma, for example, some gay people are afraid to seek medical services. Some are unable to live a normal social life since they are considered unfit in the society. Compulsory monogamy has lead to a lot of assumptions and wrong conclusions about all kinds of non-monogamous people. The society views them as people who cannot be integrated into proper civilization at all and people who lack happiness. Studies have shown that conclusions that non-monogamous people especially the bisexuals are merely cheats and diseased people are wrong. Governments too have fallen victims of the effects of compulsory monogamy where they enforce laws criminalizing sex work (Burston 112). The approach of compulsory monogamy does not necessarily represent a view of love and relationships in the society. It does more damage than good by inflicting stigma to those segments opposed to practices of compulsory monogamy. However, breaking loose from the chains of compulsory monogamy is not a downhill task. This is because monogamy is viewed as less of a choice in the society today and anyone who goes astray ends up facing resistance. Works Cited Bax, E. Outlooks from the new standpoint. New York: Ayer Publishing, 2003.Print. Burston, Daniel. The crucible of experience: R.D. Laing and the crisis of psychotherapy. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press, 2000. Print. Kilbride, P. L. Plural marriage for our times:a reinvented option? New York: Greenwood Publishing Group, 1994.Print. Robinson, W. Sexual truths versus sexual lies, misconceptions, and exaggerations. London: Forgotten Books, 1944. Print. Wardle, Lynn. Whats the harm?: does legalizing same-sex marriage really harm individuals, families, or society? Lanham, Maryland: University Press of America, 2008. Print. Read More