What everybody wants - Essay Example

What Everybody Wants In the chapter, “What Everybody Wants” from the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, the explains a very important aspect of life and an excellent way of winning over people. He explains that the character and personality of a person is shaped according to the environment that he is brought up in. To support this statement he gives an example of Al Capone that if anyone was brought up in a similar environment as him and was provided the same opportunities as he was, that person would have also achieved a similar stage in life as Al Capone.

Thus he starts with explaining to the readers that people should not be judged by what they are and they should not be blamed for their current status and position. Rather they should be understood and dealt with properly. A very important way of winning over people is to listen to their problems with attentiveness and provide them with your sympathy. Consideration of the other person’s problems and attentiveness towards their issues makes one feel important and wanted and this is considered to be one of the best ways of coming close to people.

To support this view Carnegie provided with one of his life time experiences in which he made an error while presenting his views on the author Louisa May Alcott on the radio. He made a blunder in presenting the place of her birth and changed it from Massachusetts to New Hampshire. In return to this mistake he received many letters among which was a letter by Colonial Dame who insulted him over his broadcast error. But Dale instead of writing back and arguing called her and said sorry to her over his mistake and listened to her viewpoint.

She then also apologized for being so rude. This event from his life clearly presents that it is a part of human nature that he wants to be listened to. It is a fact that every being wants to share his views and a person craves for pity as well as consideration to his viewpoints. This according to Dale is the best method of winning over people. A very good example to support this has been given by Dr. Arthur I. Gates in his book on the subject of human psychology where he explains that it is an inborn characteristic of a human being to search for attention and consideration.

For instance when a child gets hurt he runs around and tells everyone about it. In the same way when people undergo operations they tend to talk about it and tell people in order to gain their attention and kindness. This chapter speaks about the characteristics which are present naturally in most of the human beings. To win over someone and come close to a person, it is necessary that one should listen to his views and opinions regarding everything. His views should be given sympathy and listened to with utmost attention.

This induces in the other person a feeling of being important and hence can be the reason for making people close and resolving of many issues between them. References:Top of FormCarnegie, Dale. Chapter 9 “What Everybody Wants” Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1981.Bottom of Form