Personality type description - Essay Example

According to my reading and the knowledge gained, most of what was said about the ESFJ personality describes me. I love people and can be pretty accurate when reading others. I am very sensitive to how they think and feel, and would do anything to keep the peace with them. Basically, that is the gist of ESFJ personalities, and I know it characterizes me to a T.
The description of the ESFJ personality type focuses on a loving, kind and considerate person. Being a people-person, there is a tendency to put others’ needs before mine. I am happiest when I make others feel good about themselves, and get disappointed when I feel I am not liked back as much or experience unkindness or indifference from them. My desire to be liked by others is a human need all people share, and does not to mean that my sense of security relies heavily on their approval because I am a very secure person. I believe people are basically good and expect that kindness comes naturally from them too.
I am very adaptable and have the ability to adjust to whoever I am with in order to maintain harmony. I know I have a good sense of judging people and can be influential to them, but I do not control them to acquiesce to my way of thinking and relating. This is one thing that my personality does not share with the traditional ESFJ type. Another thing is being organized. ESFJ’s are known to be sticklers for organization and structure. I am not like that. I am a creative, down-to earth spirit who does not want to be stifled by the usual, known and traditional methods as I just want to spread my wings and fly.
Being individuals, we have our own personalities which have components we may share with others or not. I believe there is a prevailing need to reach out to others and somehow connect with them in one way or another. In order to do this, we try to adjust some part of our personality to accommodate someone who may be very different from us in order to maintain harmonious interpersonal communication and relationships. For instance, if the personality of A is extroverted and B is introverted, A should be able to use that engaging personality to draw B out of her shell, while keeping it tamer so that B will not be overwhelmed. On the other hand, B will just have to reach out a little more just so she gets to connect with A as a compromise.
My husband’s personality type is ENTJ. Unlike me, he is very organized and finds comfort in structure. He can be very focused on some things, like his career that he has the tendency to tune other people out. His tolerance for mistakes is very low and can be impatient with inefficient people. Although our personalities are different, we get along well because we try to complement each other. He may be displeased by my lack of organization, and I may be bothered by his lack of sensitivity to others. However, we do make a lot of compromises to resolve such conflicts and focus our energies on the aspects of our personalities that fit together instead of drive us apart.
I guess such compromises between people with different personalities only come with both quality and quantity of time spent with each other as well as the nature of the relationship shared. Initially, if there are clashes in each person’s personality, and not much emotional investment in the relationship, then it would be much easier to disconnect. However, in close relationships like marriages, there is a built-in mechanism to adjust to each other’s personality flaws. ESFJ & ENTJ personalities may not be complimentary to each other, but as husband and wife, I know we make ourselves complement each other in spite of our differences. Good communication requires effort. I believe that is what successful relationships are all about too. Read More