The Role of Mother in a Childs Life - Essay Example

Child Development Table of Contents Child Development Table of Contents 2 Introduction: The Role of Mother in a Child’s Life. 3 Bowlby’s Attachment Theory 4 Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development 9 Conclusions 11 Bibliography 12 Introduction: The Role of Mother in a Child’s Life. Mother is perhaps the most important person in a child’s life and plays the most important part in the development of a child’s emotional and social base. The term ‘mother’ scientifically may only refer to the biological female parent of a child, but psychologically it means the person who had been taking care of the child since his (or her, as the case may be) childhood and with whom the child has developed a strong emotional bonding. Be it the biological mother of the child or any substitute caregiver, the child needs someone on whom it can completely depend. The dependence of the child comes from a sense of protection and security; this sense is necessary in a child’s life for its social and emotional upliftment. The child needs a strong base to know the society and the environment where it is living in and the child finds this strong base in its mother, who not only assures it when it gets afraid on witnessing something strange and unknown to its limited experience, but is also ready with a enduring answer to all the child’s doubts. Thus, one of the prime necessities in a child’s life is the presence of its mother or someone who is mother-like, for its normal social and emotional development. In other words, it is very important for a child to get itself strongly attached to someone. However, this attachment although is possible to develop between a child and a man, but is very rare mainly because women are endowed with a greater sense of hospitality needed to tend a child with care and patience needed to answer all the child’s queries that will help the child in its development process. Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Bowlby is one of the pioneers in the field of child psychology. He developed the Theory of Attachment in 1969, which emphasizes attachment as “a lasting psychological connectedness between human beings” (Bowlby, 1969). According to Bowlby, a child’s experience gathered in childhood through its relation with its mother and hence its outlook towards the society, plays an important psychological role in determining its character and its view towards the society when it grows up. It has often been observed that the childhood of the anti-socials had been full of negligence and deprival which has sucked out all their humanity and fellow feelings. Same can be said about children who spend their childhood in an orphanage where there is no one to specially care for each child. Such children spend a childhood of depression and when they grow up, often develop pessimistic approach towards life. Moreover, since the commencement of human civilization, human beings have learnt to depend on one another to satisfy their basic needs. Thus the nature of dependence on one another is the integral feature of mankind. Now, if a child is deprived of his right at the start of the life, this will obviously hamper the natural growth and development of its mind and consequently develop a sense of loneliness at a later stage in life. Bowlby characterised four distinguishing features of a child’s attachment to its mother in Attachment Theory. 1. Maintenance of proximity The child wants to feel proximity or desires a sense of nearness from its mother (biological mother or a substitute caregiver) or the person it is attached to, in case the person is not a female. . 2. Finding a safety haven The child must feel a sense of comfort, security and safety from any potential threats or dangers when the person is around or rather if the child is faced with any probable danger, it must feel certain that there is a person whom it can turn to, with whom it is strongly attached and returning to whom it can overcome all its fears. It must have the feeling that whatever happens its mother is never going to leave it. 3. Maintaining a Secure Base The child feels itself safe and secure being with its mother. The person with whom the child is attached, is like a fortress to it, where it can hide itself when in danger and keep an eye of the happenings from a safe distance. 4. Suffering from distress on being separated The child suffers from mental distress when separated from its mother, even if temporarily. If this separation is prolonged or permanent, it might end with the child suffering from acute depression. At the same time however, when the child is re-united with its mother, its joy is boundless. We can link up Bowlby’s Attachment Theory with Ainsworth’s experiments on the role that a close attachment with someone in childhood plays in building a strong emotional and social base in a child. Ainsworth’s Experiments on the importance of mothering aspects leading to secure attachment. Based on the Attachment Theory developed by Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth in 1970, carried out a research on children between 12 to 18 months of age, where they were temporarily separated from their mothers. The aim of the study was mainly to note the behavioural change in children due to this brief disturbance and the results of the study were published in her 1978 paper named “A Strange Situation”. From the outcome of the study, Ainsworth distinguished between three different types of attachment styles found among children towards their mothers or substitute caregivers. 1. Secure Attachment Children who are securely attached towards their caregivers suffer from a much lower distress than that suffered by children belonging to the other two categories. Their sense of security makes them believe that their near ones will return back to them one day, no matter how long the separation be. This sense of a secure attachment develops in those children whose parents keep on assuring and comforting them continuously with their warmth and love, so that the children cannot think of confiding in anybody else at times when they are afraid or scared. 2. Ambivalent-insecure Attachment Ambivalently attached children are those who have suffered from a discontinuous maternal attention since childhood, which makes them feel insecure even when briefly separated from their mother. As discussed above while explaining the Attachment Theory, an integral characteristic of human beings is to depend on their fellow-beings to meet their basic needs. Hence, it is very important for us to live in between our kinsmen. For children, the set narrows down to just one or two person(s) to whom they are closely attached. But, if they are deprived of their presence the child develops a sense of insecurity in itself mainly initiated from a lack of a maternal presence when a child needs it desperately. Research by Ainsworth showed that 7% to 15% of the US children have an ambivalent attachment towards their mothers. 3. Avoidant-insecure Attachment In this case, the child stops depending upon anyone maybe because of a childhood full of negligence and abuse. A child belonging to this category is indifferent between choosing a stranger and its caregiver when given a choice. Generally, such children grow up to be perfectly independent individuals and seldom seek help from anyone. Childhood experiences play a very important psychological role in personality development when the child grows into an adult. A link can here be made Erikson’s theory of Psychosocial Development. Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development Erikson emphasised that personality development takes place in an individual throughout its life through a series of phases, owing to the experiences and information it gains over the period. The result of this changing personality is mirrored in an individual’s ego. If in any phase, the individual faces a very crucial and important challenge and emerges successfully out of it, it is reflected in his personality in the form of a strong ego. On the other hand, if he cannot emerge successfully, it might weaken his ego forever or till he is successful in emerging out of another crucial challenge. So, at every point of time, an individual has to pass through a conflict of selection, which may or may not materialise as expected. This results to a change of an individual’s ego and in the process of this changing ego, the individual develops a typical psychosocial quality in himself. Broadly, Erikson distinguished between two phases of personality development in a child that depends upon the environment it is brought up in. 1. Phase I – Between birth and one year of age. This phase is important in a child’s life as it is when the child learns whom to trust and whom not to trust. This development depends mainly on the nature and quality of a child’s caregiver. A baby is terribly dependent on its caregivers and need tender care from them during this phase. Apart from material needs, it also needs emotional support from its caregivers at this stage and this is the base on which it develops a feeling of trust towards its caregivers. It comes to believe that there is a person to whom it can always turn to when facing a threat or danger and can seek comfort. However, any neglect from its caregiver, either from an emotional ground or the ground of material satisfaction at this stage can lead a child in believing itself to be unwanted by the person and this feeling can later develop a sense of being unwanted in the society, leading the child to suffer from an inferiority complex. 2. Phase II This stage includes the early childhood of an individual. The children learn to control themselves - their mind as well as body during this phase. Control of mind implies controlling various emotional and mental swings, whereas control of body implies learning to take care and understanding of various material needs, like choice of food or toys or clothing, etc on their own. A successful completion of this phase helps a child to grow independent, secure and confident of itself. It helps a child to face the society and its challenges with a greater confidence. Conclusions Proper care is very important for a child to help it grow up into an ideal human being and lead a normal life. This care must be selfless and unconditional in nature, which can only be expected from a child’s mother. Researchers have found how a traumatic and painful childhood can hamper the proper mental development of a child, sometimes even leading a person to develop negative feelings towards the society. This is why sensitive mothering is very important for a child. Bibliography Balter Lawrence & Tamis-LeMonda Catherine Susan (ed.), 2006, Child psychology: A handbook of contemporary issues (2nd Edition), Psychology Press. Read More