Steps of the Conversation Process - Essay Example

Interpersonal Communication Examination Submitted by: XXXX XXXXXX Number: XXXXXX of XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXSubject Code: XXXXXXX Date of Submission: XX – XX – 2009 Question 1: Part1: Identify FIVE terms/concepts listed in the chapter that relate to having effective conversation. In LIST FORM, give the term, define it, and explain why it is important for effective conversation. The conversation process has five steps that need to be followed to make the it effective and efficient. These are as discussed below: The Conversation Process Term Meaning Importance Opening This is the first step of any conversation. This in some terms forms the interest building factor for any conversation. This is the greeting to the other person. This is an important part of any conversation as the first few seconds of any conversation are crucial and are the deciding factor of the opposite person’s span of attention in the conversation. Feed – Forward Is a mode to open channels for a communication and is a preview of the future messages This is very essential to help keep the opposite person about what the conversation is mainly going to be about and it acts as a heads up for the opposite person thus it is very essential Business The substance and focus of the conversation This forms the body of the conversation and if this is not a part then there is nothing more left to the conversation. A conversation lacking this would mean that it is not an effective conversation at all. Feedback The views of the listener on what is being said are referred to as a feedback. This can be in terms of words, body language or even in terms of actions. This is a very important part of any conversation as it allows the speaker to know what the opposite person feels as well as get an understanding of the reaction of the opposite person. Gaining feedback on a conversation allows the speaker to change the direction of the topic in accordance to the feedback gained to ensure complete interest of the listener as well. Closing This is the ending of every conversation. This can be in the form of sign as well as verbal in nature. This may also in some cases summarize the interaction as a conclusion. Like in the case of an opening conversation a closing conversation also plays a very essential role. This is because a conversation cannot be referred to be effective if it comes to an abrupt ending without any kind of acknowledgement or even a small summarization of the topic of discussion. Part2: Review the guidelines for self-disclosure and briefly explain them. Self-Disclosure is defined as “a conscious, intentional technique in which clinicians share information about their lives outside the counselling relationship” (Simone, McCarthy, & Skay, 1998, p.174). The main guidelines are the communication skills which can be used to avoid any lacking information for the process. It is up to the counsellors to be direct and concise. Self disclosures need to be very straight forward without any wastage of time. It requires being clear to both the clients as well as the counsellors with details and effective information. Question 2: Part1: Define (in list form) each of the following theories of relationships: Attraction theory: This theory is based on the external looks. The theory states that relations start on the basis of attraction and work based on the law of attraction. There is no space given to the attitudes as much as the looks and attraction levels. Relationship Rules theory: This theory was set down by Schimanoff in 1990. The theory states that all relationships have a set of rules which need to be followed in order for the relationship to work. These include various aspects of the relationship like prohibited, preferred or obligated behavior in different situations. Relationship dialectics theory: This theory was developed in 1980s. The theory deals with the communication patterns between relationship partners as a result of endemic dialectical tensions. Social Penetration theory: The social penetration theory states that as relationships develop, communication moves from relatively shallow, non – intimate levels to deeper, more personal ones (Altman & Taylor, 1973). Social Exchange/Equity theory: This theory explains how people feel about their relationships with the other person and this is mainly based on the balance of what one individual has put into the relationship when compared to what is got out of the relationship, the relationship that is actually deserved and finally the chances of having better relationships with other people (Changing Minds, 2009). Part2: Select the one theory that you feel is the best for understanding how relationships develop and evolve. Briefly explain why. I feel that the social penetration theory is one which is best suited for relationships. This is because the theory by itself highlights how relationships evolve and how people tend to move from levels of simple attraction to a more developed level of sharing and caring for the other. A relationship which shows signs of progress and development in most cases tend to become less superficial and relatively much more personal. Thus this theory has actually touched upon the actual cycle of the relationships and is based on the development and evolution of relations. Question3: Part 1: In list form, define and explain each of the causes of relationship deterioration listed in the text. There are numerous causes for relationships deterioration. Some of these include the following as explained. Excessive Intimacy – The need for one partner to be over sympathizing. This is one of the issues that can bring relationships on a brink and can lead to relations breaking up due to excessive care and sympathy. Third Parties – The third party play a very important role in every relationship. It has been noted that involvement of any third party in a relationship only tends to tangle the relationship more rather than solving the issues. Undefined Expectations: There are a number of relationships where the people do not define the desire for goals and needs. This can lead to a number of conflicts within the relationship and can cause the relationship to break. Part 2: "Bad Communication" is the basis for all these causes. Explain why. A strong relationship can only be built if the communication among the partners is strong and personal. The main cause of all relationships break down is the lack of communication or use of negative terms in relationships. It is essential to understand that a relationship which might already be stressed due to other factors can easily be broken with the lack of communication and use of bad communication. Thus it is essential that communication is given a lot of importance in every relationship. It is also essential to keep in mind that communication can lead to building or even breaking of relationships. Question 4: Part1: In list form, define and explain each of the five conflict styles. Terms Explanation The Peace Maker These people generally try to cool arguments down and do not consider their own needs or even opinions heard. The Defensive Attacker These groups of people make a number of rules and regulations for the arguments not to happen. This however in a number of cases can become completely opposite. Subtle Strike These people hate to confront and thus they use other subtle modes. These can include withdrawal from speech or even ignoring the other partner. The full – on foe These groups of people are very different. They decide no to let their guards down and do not let anyone enter into their zone. They consider everyone to be their enemy and do not allow people to relate to them. The Shock absorber These groups of people hate confrontations and fights. Hence they stay quite and do not say a thing even if they are right or have the rights to. These people generally have a lot of pent up anger which might come out at any given point or might lead to depression Couples who don’t argue This is one of the biggest issues. People who do not argue and prefer to keep everything to them without letting the other person know of the issue will feel the stress later in life and this can be the cause of the conflict later in future. The Negotiator These people accept that the partner is not like them and that people are different. They however make all attempts to understand the partner and try to provide their opinions in a manner which would not hurt their partner. Part2: What is the difference between argumentativeness and verbal aggressiveness? Why is this distinction important for effective conflict resolution? Argumentativeness is defined as “a generally stable trait which predisposes the individual in communication situations to advocate positions on controversial issues and to attack verbally the positions which other people take on these issues” (Infante & Rancer, 1982). Verbal aggressiveness is “a personality trait that predisposes persons to attack the self- concepts of other people instead of, or in addition to, their positions on topics of communication” (Infante & Wigley, 1986). Both of these are very essential elements of conflict resolution. The main difference is that the verbal aggressiveness is more of a trait than an action unlike the the argumentativeness. Question 5- Part1: List the title of the film you viewed along with a short summary. 50 First Dates: Starring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler The story is of a Henry Roth who lives in Hawaii and is a very flamboyant personality with a long line of women with no strings attached. During this course he meets Lucy (Drew Barrymore), and both of them seem to hit – it – off from the very beginning. They seem to enjoy one another’s company and lead to a serious relationship. However to Henry’s surprise, when he approaches Lucy the very next day, she seems not to recognize him and this leaves him stunned and unaware of what is happening. It is then that he realizes that Lucy has a condition of short terms memory loss and that she is unable to remember the previous day and each individual day. Henry is in love with her and will not give up easy he is ready to win her over every single day for fifty days and makes her fall in love with him. Since she cant remember him every single morning, the story is a romantic comedy of Henry’s efforts to get Lucy to remember him every single day with the single hope that she would fall back in love with him again. Part2: Identify SIX(6) total concepts from Chapter 11 and/or chapter 13 that relate to the film. IN list form, write the concept, define it, and identify an example where this took place in the film. Term Example Maintaining a Relationship There are a few scenes which reveal this point in the movies. First is the scene in the movie where Henry (Adam Sandler), makes the video for Lucy (Drew Barrymore). The video includes all the details of the various events that she missed during the year. Also he delivers the video with a bunch of lilies which he is aware that she loves. Good Relationships The best example for ‘good relationships’ is the relationships shared by Lucy, Doug her brother (Sean Astin) and Marlin her father (Blake Clark). The scene shows how Lucy does exactly the same things every single day. The scene highlights how her brother and father every single day religious set up the house to be just like how it was on the day before the accident. They paint the garage wall white every night for her to wake up the next day morning and paint on again, even wash her clothes every night so that it is ready for her to wear the next day. Acquaintances Every morning, Henry tries to strike a conversation with her with the hope of making her fall in love with him that day. However, the most important scene portraying ‘acquaintances’ is the first day Henry speaks to Lucy without knowing about her short term memory loss. Close Friends or Inmates Friendship between Henry, Ula, Alexa, the penguin Willie and the Walrus Jacko. The scene with Ula in the boat, where Henry tells Ula about Lucy and her problems with short term memory loss, is a typical example. When Henry feels that it is wrong to continue in a relationship with her, without any commitment, Ula makes him realize that he has not connected to any girl in his whole life and he will get a chance to really know about the girl. Platonic Relationship The platonic relationship appears to be between the walrus and Henry. This is seen in the senses where Henry talks to the Walrus and the two have a strong relationship although they are not able to talk to one another. Self Disclosure The best example for this is diary that is maintained by Lucy in the movie to remember who she is and what she had done in the previous days. When Lucy confesses to Henry about the diary it is the best example for the self disclosure. Bibliography Altman, I., & Taylor, D., (1973). Social Penetration: The Development of Interpersonal Relationships. New York, Holt, Rinehart and Winston Changing Minds, (2009). Social Exchange Theory. Accessed on 8th July 2009. Retrieved from < http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/social_exchange.htm> DeVito, J.A., (2008). The interpersonal communication book. 12th Edition. Allyn & Bacon Publishers Infante, D., & Wigley, C. (1986). Verbal aggressiveness: An interpersonal model and measure. Communication Monographs, 53, 61-69 Infante, D.A., & Rancer, A.S. (1982). A conceptualization and measure of argumentativeness. Journal of Personality Assessment, 46, 72-80 Simone, D. H., McCarthy, P., & Skay, C. (1998). An investigation of client and counselor variables that influence likelihood of counselor self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling and Development. 76: 174-182. Read More

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