A Distance is a Distance - Essay Example

Download file to see previous pages For the past two years you have both set aside intimacy and closeness in hopes of building a more secure future to rest your relationship on. This is admirable and can also be economically pragmatic. Getting your career and education on the right path will certainly add to your ability to have a relationship and family down the road. However, in your special case it is preventing you from having a relationship now. You and your wonderful Mr. Right would benefit from deciding not if you want a relationship, but what kind of relationship you want this to be, and realize that you are just starting out to build something with him and the closeness you have now may not be as close as you think.The first thing you need to do Jamie is to appreciate the fact that you are making decisions based on the wonderful alternatives you and your boyfriend have. You are not being forced to choose due to financial or health reasons. You are faced with the much sought after dilemma of, 'You can't have everything because you would have no place to keep it'. You are trying to decide about the best of the good. Having said that, you both need to sit down and evaluate where you are in your current relationship. If your current arrangement is based on phone calls and rushed weekend get-togethers, then you need to understand that that is what is at risk. You are not giving up a lifetime of familial bliss because you currently do not have that. You are passing up the opportunity to be intimately close with this fellow now and what ever you choose outside the status quo will sacrifice that arrangement.
After you examine the relationship you currently have with a realistic lens, you can begin to weigh your other options against it. One option that you have open to you is to keep the relationship as it currently is. You have expressed your desire to take the relationship to the next level and have indicated that this long distance arrangement just won't make it any longer. Any distance between a couple is far too great. You and your boyfriend need the close personal contact and intimacy that is a part of a partnership to make your love work for you. If you delay that, you risk having to make a decision in the future based on desperation or an ultimatum. Trying to make flexible arrangements in a long distance relationship is fraught with treachery. Some couples have tried allowing limited dating by the other person in their absence, or other compromises, but these have a great risk of destroying what you already have. Since the current arrangement can't continue for you, you need to look at the other alternatives you have available to you.
If you do in fact decide that you simply can't continue in a long distance relationship, there are only two choices for you to make. Decide to make some concrete changes to stay together, or accept it that there is a geographical difference that can not be overcome and that distance will be reflected in your relationship. If you both choose career over your relationship, then you would do well to accept that for exactly what it is. We all have relationships that work over great distances, but they are not intimate and don't involve the lifelong sharing of a marriage. Choosing your careers will mean that you are probably giving up any hope of a future family with Mr. Right, but it will present you the opportunity to have a lifelong friend who has shared some common struggles with you. He will probably be successful and a valuable asset to your future. But he may not ever become your soul mate or marriage partner.
Don't be too deluded into believing that you can both go about your business, him with his career and you with ...Download file to see next pagesRead More