Marriage in Different Cultures - Essay Example

Marriage in Different Cultures Marriage is defined as a social contract between two people which unites their lives legally, economically and emotionally. (Stritof, n.d) According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, marriage is the institution whereby a man and a woman are joined in a special type of bond that binds them socially and legally with the purpose of founding and maintaining a family. We all know that culture effects marriage, the ceremony and eventually how the couple live together and the values they follow. In this paper we will discuss exactly how culture affects marriage by studying marriages from different countries such as, Turkey, Italy, Germany and Azerbaijan. By discussing these we can find out what values should be instilled in a marriage to make it work. Marriage in Italy is loosing its importance as couples move in together and live together without being married. This allows them more independence. Men and women who do get married, do so at a later age; for women it is twenty-seven while for men it is thirty. Also, second marriages have increased in number as couples tend to get divorced more often. This leads to an increased number of civil marriages as the Catholic Church does not allow a person to be married twice. Before you actually get married in Italy, you need to make sure that all the documentation is ready. A couple must appear before the civil registrar of the town where the marriage is to take place with two witnesses and make a declaration of their intention to marry. (Justlanded.com) The birthrate has also dropped as a result of fewer marriages and marriage at an older age. This leads to the couple having their first child at an older age and since the woman can not conceive after the age of 45, it becomes difficult to have more than one or two children. In 1971 the average age of women having their first child was 25.1; in 1998 it was 28.4. The average number of children per woman dropped from 2.4 in 1981 to 1.2 in 1998. In 1993-94 one-child families represented 43.8 percent of the total of all families with children; in 1997-98 they represented 45.2 percent. (http://family.jrank.org/pages/978/Italy-Marriage-Children.html) One thing that underlies Italian families is their strong bond, even after the children leave home they stay in touch with their parents. Italians have a strong intergenerational camaraderie which helps them in facing problems and solving them. This shows that many children live at home till the age of 33. Around the world people trace their ancestry only through the paternal side but in Italy both paternal and maternal sides are traced. Thus ancestry is bilateral and relates the individual to more people. This way a large kin is developed which can help the person with any problems and provide help. Businesses in Italy also have a family based structure. The bilateral descent extends the family and clears the rights of every individual, places authority with a few people and specifies whom one can marry or can not marry. The place where you live in Italy also determines the relationships you develop. For example; children are closer to their grandparents rather than some uncle or aunt. This gives the grandparents more authority over the children. Authority is mostly based on age. Children live with their parents up until the time they are married, after that the parents prefer the children to set up house for themselves. Kinship among Italians is on the basis of three criteria: descent, marriage and pseudo relationship. The pseudo relationships include relatives acquired through ceremonies such as baptism and weddings. All this has changes because of industrialization. Courtship is more direct and marriage marks the end of the courtship process which has evolved. The weddings are very traditional. Guests are expected to repay former favors of the family to the couple. The groom's tie is cut up and sold to finance the honeymoon. Marriage in Germany reduced right after the post war era. There were fewer marriages, smaller families and the number of divorces increased. The decline in marriages was more in East Germany than in West Germany. The reason for this could be that people in East Germany married at a younger age than the people in West Germany. The people in East Germany mainly did this so that they could have children and get child-care and housing benefits. Even though 70 per cent of people in the marriage age bracket were married, they did not have many children which resulted in a failure of population replacement. Of the 15 million married couples in the former West Germany, about 57 percent had children. Forty-seven percent of couples with children had one child, 38 percent had two children, and 13 percent had three or more children. (www.photius.com) One reason for women having fewer children is the absence of child care and their desire to continue with their jobs. By the 1990's, couples preferred to live outside wedlock to see if they were compatible or not. There was sexual freedom which resulted in out of marriage children being born. Germany has become quite liberal, it allows gay marriages. It is one of the very few countries to do this. The law allows registered partners to change their last names; joint custody over child for whom one partner already has custody and allows adopt each other's children; grants recognition of next-of-kin rights; joint eligibility for some social security benefits; survivor's pension right; similar rights in the field of tenancy; and immigration concessions and working permission for foreign partner. (www.ilga-europe.org) On the other hand it is not very easy to get a divorce in Germany. To make sure that the divorce is lawful you need to appeal in the family court. A set duration of time is required for the couple to live together before divorce can be filed. Initially marriages would just take place in the Church but the new law requires the civil marriage officer to be present. Another thing is that the civil marriage takes place before the Church marriage. Although the civil law allows divorce the Church has the same thinking that it had earlier. (Prof. Dr. Richard Puza) Marriages in Turkey require the following necessary documentation: Petition of the marriage. To start an action the groom and bride must file a petition of the marriage, "Evlenme Beyannamesi," Passport, Identification card, birth certificate, health certificate; pictures belong to bride and groom, certificate of Capacity to Marry. (Single, divorce, widow or widowed.) The following are the conditions for a viable marriage: the person should have the mental capacity to marry and should be able to make fair judgments for him or herself. Also, the individual should be of a minimum age of 18 years. An individual can not marry his or her close relatives. Also, the individual can not remarry if the first marriage has not been terminated. A woman can not remarry until three hundred days of the divorce from the first marriage. The decree of the divorce may state a period in which the spouse who is guilty can not remarry. Medical illnesses such as epilepsy and hysteria are a blockage to marriage. (http://www.turkishembassy.com/ii/K/marriage_in_turkey.htm) Since Turkey is a secular state, the religion and law are separated. Although, Islam allows a man to have more than one wife the state does not. Thus, a man can have more than one wife but they are not recognized by the state. According to the religion, he should provide all the wives with the same resources and luxuries. The Turkish prefer getting married in summer, spring or autumn but not in the winters. Special places have been allocated for a marriage, the number of marriages is so many that after every 15 minutes there is a marriage taking place at these locations. The ceremony is very simple and at the reception the family gives the couple gold coins, jewelry or money. There is food and music and the environment is more of like a party. (http://www.business-with-turkey.com/tourist-guide/turkish_marriage.shtml) Marriage in Azerbaijan is a holy event. All the wedding ceremonies that take place have a standard procedure and style. Marriages do not take place in the months of Muharram, Safar and Ramazan, months in the Islamic calendar. The marriages are arranged and a third party is sent to see the girl. If they like the girl then they ask for her hand, the process is called "Elchilik." The groom's side sing a song while this ceremony is being performed. t goes like, I have come to take a stranger I have come to take a shawl I have come to take a bride To the hazel-eyed man After the Elchilik ceremony has been finished, the elders of both families get together to decide on a date for the wedding. On the marriage day, am amount of money is decided which will be given to the girl after the wedding. This amount of money is called "Mehriye." As the girl says yes, a cone shaped piece of sugar is broken and the top piece is given to the girl to have. The ceremony continues with a white cloth being put above the bride and the groom's head and two pieces of sugar are rubbed together to symbolize that they will have a good life together. The groom and the bride can meet before the wedding and the bride receives gifts from the groom's at every event, even before the wedding. (http://www.oursouthazerbaijan.com/English_marr.htm) The groom's family comes to the bride's house after the wedding feast is over to take her to her new house. The father of the bride whispers to her, "May you have a son and a daughter, may you be in wealth and riches, may you listen to what your father and mother-in-law say to you, hope you have good days in front of you," while he is seeing her off. Once the bride reaches the door of the groom's house she stops and waits for permission to go inside. Most of this tradition is carried out in rural areas while the modern people living in the cities can propose to each other directly. Marriage is still practiced between cousins and close blood relatives, this may cause health problems and the children conceived in such marriages have a higher chance of getting birth defects. When a family is facing financial problems, the young daughters can be forced into marriage. The young people do not have any concept of sexual healthcare. They have unwanted pregnancies and are exposed to the risk of HIV, gender based violence and trafficking. Sexual activity before marriage in Azerbaijan is a taboo and should not be performed under any circumstances. (http://tsc.unfpa.org/youth_Azerb.htm) The divorce rates of the countries we have mentioned are as follows: Percentage of New Marriages which End in Divorce, in Selected Countries (2002) Divorces (as % of marriages) Germany 39.4 Italy 10.0 Turkey 6.0 Azerbaijan 10.3 Divorce Rates of Selected Countries (2002) Divorce Rate (per 1,000 population per year) Germany 2.3 Italy 0.6 Turkey 0.49 Azerbaijan 0.69 (http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsWorld.shtml) In conclusion, there is no one particular way of marriage that works out for everybody. It depends on the individual and the culture he or she best adapts to. Some people like family involvement in their lives other do not. Looking at the divorce percentages given above, we can not generalize which culture works best to make a marriage last. There are many similarities between the marriages of these cultures while at the same time there are many differences such as the ceremonies practiced and the whole process of finding a bride. While Italy and Germany are very liberal, Turkey and Azerbaijan are not. Azerbaijan follows the religious process of getting married, while Turkey being a secular state is not as strict. Marriages today do not last for very long because the generation of today has less patience and ability to handle ambiguity, this makes it difficult to stay with a partner till death do them apart. In my opinion it is better to part as friends rather than stay together as enemies and ruin each others life. Bibliography 1. Germany Marriage and Family http://www.photius.com/countries/germany/society/germany_society_marriage_and_family.html 2. Marriage and Children http://family.jrank.org/pages/978/Italy-Marriage-Children.html 3. Marriage & Divorce in Italy http://www.justlanded.com/english/Italy/Tools/Articles/Visas-Permits/What-you-should-know 4. Marriage and partnership rights for same-sex partners: country-by-country http://www.ilga-europe.org/europe/issues/marriage_and_partnership/marriage_and_partnership_rights_for_same_sex_partners_country_by_country 5. Marriage in Southern Azerbaijan http://www.oursouthazerbaijan.com/English_marr.htm 6. Marriage in Turkey (2002) http://www.business-with-turkey.com/tourist-guide/turkish_marriage.shtml 7. http://www.turkishembassy.com/ii/K/marriage_in_turkey.htm 8. Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com Marriage http://marriage.about.com/od/historyofmarriage/g/marriage.htm 9. Supporting Young People in Azerbaijan, Turkey and South Caucus http://tsc.unfpa.org/youth_Azerb.htm 10. The Family Organization of Italy (2008) http://ivythesis.typepad.com/term_paper_topics/2008/01/the-family-orga.html 11. World Divorce Statistics http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsWorld.shtml Read More