Female Orgasm: A Comprehensive Understanding - Essay Example

You're 21 June 2006 Female Orgasm: A Comprehensive Understanding Sex is a very natural aspect of human life and therefore thereis no human being that does not enjoy personal pleasure and gain satisfaction from engaging in sexual intercourse. However there are differences between females and males in regards to the sexual peaks that they both achieve and the level of orgasms that they have as well. For instance, there has been a lot of mystery surrounding the idea of whether or not women actually have specific types of orgasms during sexual intercourse or whether they simply fake their orgasms. For women to have an orgasm, it can only be considered to be an art form because it takes an intricate act of foreplay for many women to be able to reach a sexual peak. Once at the point of a sexual high they are in a rhythmic stage which allows them to feel at the precept of having an orgasm. However, it can be factually said that many men have no idea of where to even begin in bringing a woman to this point, let alone to a climax because the woman's human anatomy is far more complex than the man's is. Therefore many women suffer from sexual frustration because they are not granted the same pleasure sexually that their male counterpart is. There are different forms of orgasms that are easier to obtain than from vaginal intercourse alone. These three different female orgasms are known as, clitoral, G-spot, and then of course the vaginal. Researchers who have studied the interactions of sex among human beings have found that many women have clitoral orgasms far easier than they do the G-spot or through vaginal intercourse. The reasoning in-behind this is the fact that women have to have clitoral stimulation while there is sexual penetration in order to gain a fulfilling orgasm, which many men fail to give to women. This is one of the reasons that it has been discovered many women fake their orgasms because their partners are not fulfilling their sexual needs. This can be validated and proven by showing that a study carried out by the American Medical Association defined the fact that 43 % of women are sexually dysfunctional and do not have regular orgasmic experiences during sexual interactions (Oumano 2000, p. 34). Also, another 10 % to 15 % of women never even have an orgasm, not even through their own masturbation techniques. In cases such as these the male partner is not to blame but it is rather an anatomical dysfunction or it could perhaps be psychological as well. Also, viable evidence shows that many women, around 30 % to be exact never have an orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, which validates the fact that was stated, which emphasized that vaginal intercourse along with clitoral stimulation is the way to bring about a fulfilling orgasm for the woman. Because of this fact, and in order to demystify the vaginal and G-spot orgasmic experience, many researchers claim that the clitoral area is where all orgasms stem from (Oumano 2000, p. 35). However this can be refuted itself because many women claim that no two orgasms are ever the same and some are more intensely pleasing than others, especially those who are directly from clitoral stimulation and oral sex. Also, from a philosophical context, Freud stated that women who could experience an orgasm during sexual intercourse must be experiencing a vaginal orgasm as many philosophers, psychologists, researchers, and even doctors do not believe that the G-spot truly exists (Rudolf 1997, p. 63). This idea has led to many debates over orgasms among women as a woman knows her body far better than anyone else and she should know whether there is truth in the G-spots existence or not. Clearly women would not agree with Freud as they commonly know that there is a G-spot in their female anatomy. Also, of course if they have actually had the sensational experience of the penis making contact with this area then they assuredly know it exists. Therefore, the conflicting views leaves some puzzlement over why the G-spot area and vaginal intercourse do not make very strong orgasmic experiences for women without the clitoral area involved as well. There have been verifiable studies done that have shown these two areas can be highly stimulated if different sexual positions are utilized. Specific evidence has shown that engaging in sexual intercourse while lying on the side can result in women having very powerful orgasms due to the fact that vaginal penetration allows for the penis to be able to reach the G-spot and also there is clitoral stimulation as well. Therefore through these three areas getting simultaneous movement and stimulation a woman is more able to reach a climax (Hopkins et al 1998, p. 22). So obviously in order to achieve a complete orgasm, all zones need to be effectively stimulated by lying in various positions during sexual intercourse in order to give the woman the same satisfying experience as the man has. The reason that the G-spot orgasm seems to remain so elusive to many women is due to the fact that the pelvic muscles are not toned and trained to bring effective pleasurable sensations to the G-spot. This is why many gynecologists urge women to routinely perform certain pelvic exercises to strength their vaginal muscles and to allow for more pleasure through sexual intercourse with their partners (Rudolf 1997, p. 63). Through these various Kegel exercises women can direct certain sensations to the nerves that lie in the vagina and connect with the G-spot. Correct usage of these muscles and stimulation of the nerve endings in the vagina has shown that vaginal orgasms and G-spot orgasms do indeed exist and can be very gratifying and pleasing for the woman who experiences them. Though all three of these orgasmic experiences can bring great pleasure there are differences among them which bring different degrees of orgasms for women, some being extremely intense while others are rather mild. The sexual position, stimulation, pelvic muscle structure, self-esteem level, confidence level, and other factors all play a role in what type of orgasm will be experienced by a woman. In rebuttal of those researchers, doctors, and other experts who state the G-spot does not exist, it can be proven that it does, which has been stated briefly in this research. The G-spot has been stated to be a "virtual highway of orgasmic experiences" if it can be found (Reuben 2000, p. 62). Though medical practitioners have been able to finally pinpoint the location of this elusive female sexual body part, male spouses seem to be having more trouble locating it on their own in order to bring their partner the sexual pleasure that they crave. The G-spot is a highly sensitive area in the vagina which lies on the upper part of the vaginal wall and above the cervix. G-spot orgasms can be more difficult to have due to the odd positions that couples might have to get in, in order to reach it effectively. However, lying on the side and from behind are the best positions if a couple is attempting to have the female partner reach a G-spot orgasm without any other form of stimulation (Reuben 2000, p. 62). Many women state that these types of orgasms are some of the most powerful as they start from deep within and then become external. Sadly though very few women ever experience such an "earth-moving" orgasmic experience, but this doesn't dispute the fact they are very real and exist for a certain percentage of women. In this regard, many therapists state that if couples really understood how to make love fully and more effective foreplay was given to the female partner to achieve G-spot orgasms, there would be a smaller divorce rate than what exists in the country. Sexual satisfaction has a big play in a marriage and if women aren't being sexually satisfied then they tend to look elsewhere to try and achieve those orgasmic experiences (such as G-spot and Vaginally) that remain elusive to so many in the female population (Dunas et al 1998, p. 31). The difference between a G-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm is that there is a good amount of ejaculation from the area of the urethra but it is not urine like some women perceive it to be. A G-spot orgasm releases an ejaculation that is clover smelling and has no color, but again it is found to be an extreme amount of fluid. The reason that these types of orgasms seem so elusive and are hard to believe to exist is the fact that a woman has a very difficult time having them if she lacks self confidence in herself. A lack of self-esteem definitely affects the sexual libido of a female and in turn affects the possibility of achieving such a pleasing experience such as a G-spot orgasm brings (Pokras et al 2005). Women who have experienced G-spot orgasms describe how they were able to achieve them which the following bulleted outline includes: Women insure that they are in a high-trust relationship where there is not worry about what she looks like, sounds like, or smells like but is full of self confidence Highly sexually aroused and in attempting to reach a G-spot orgasm has one to two vaginal orgasms as well The G-spot orgasm brings on a pushing sensation where a woman feels the need to bear down There is an intense spurting of fluid which explicitly provides the burden of proof that a G-spot orgasm occurred After the orgasm women are very weak and can hardly walk to the bathroom Many state it is the best sexual experience that they have ever had (Pokras et al 2005). Also, research has shown that women who live in the eastern part of the world have no trouble achieving G-spot orgasms and this can only be due to the sexual technique that they utilize and the trust that is in the relationship as well. The sexual technique is known as the "Tantra" and it is an ancient Eastern sexual practice that helps women lose negative sexual attitudes, release unwanted inhibitions, and urge sex-positive responses to come into the sexual act which brings satisfaction for both partners and of which also increases the possibility of having a G-spot orgasm (Pokras et al 2005). Therefore the reason that so few women have been able to achieve orgasms such as these is the fact that many women suffer from adverse thoughts about themselves and their body image. As has been stated in order to achieve true sexual pleasure and the ultimate orgasmic experience women have to be able to let go of all of the adversities they have about their own body, mentally and physically as well. Only then can they acquire the ability of achieving these other orgasms. Furthermore, some of this also has to do with the different body anatomy as well, and not only this but how each gender perceives the idea of sex and achieving an orgasm. In Matt Ridley's "The Red Queen" (1995) he attempts to demystify certain areas of human sexuality. For instance, he states that sex and orgasm is not the same for a man as it is for a woman as for a man they are simply conquering what is theirs and reaching fulfillment; while for a woman the sexual experience is more sensuous and meaningful. She wants her lover to be able to fulfill her and help her to reach her sexual peak. Ridley points out that man, while they do love their spouses or lovers, they tend to be more polygamous and have trouble remaining faithful to one female due to their urge to reproduce with other highly fertile females. If this is the case, and if the literature is correct about their needing to be trust in a relationship to be able to achieve the ultimate orgasm for women, then it can be clearly seen why the G-spot orgasm remains so aloof and distant for many women. If men can't focus on one female due to sexual urges then how are women suppose to relax enough to trust them and achieve sexual fulfillment Ridley might be correct in this assumption for the animal species but for homosapiens it simply is hard to fathom that they actually believe this way. However he does make a good point with how he defines the fact that men do think differently in many respects than women do, especially with sexual intimacy. Some women do feel that while there are a percentage of men that care enough about their needs to help them reach sexual fulfillment there are far to many that only care about other sexual exploits (such as Ridley describes in the Red Queen) and their own sexual urges far more than satisfying the female which contributes to women not being sexually satisfied. For instance in Hooper's article (2005) many men simply give up on trying to help their lover reach a G-spot orgasm or vaginal orgasm by making the excuse, "sorry honey, it is your genes." This leaves women feeling neglecting and wondering if they will ever be able to obtain such sexual pleasure in their life while the men are always seemingly satisfied. It could be another reason why these two orgasmic experiences remain shrouded in mystery because very few women ever experience them. However the idea that some women's genes might be the reason for not being able to reach certain orgasms seems to hold some validity. One study that was done defined that 45 % of women suffer from not being able to have an orgasm basically due to the genetic makeup that they have. Therefore there is more to achieving an orgasm than simply a woman's cultural view of sex or her self-doubt within herself. Little has been known about this type of theorization until very recently since in the past few years there have been more extreme studies carried out to try and bring validity to the fact that women's genes could be preventing them from achieving sexual fulfillment. This of course shows that there are cases where men can be very dedicated to trying to please their lovers or spouses yet no matter how hard they try to sexually please them an orgasm such as a vaginal one or specifically a G-spot type is simply not possible. What is odd about this however is the fact that the study found that women could easily achieve clitoral orgasms when they masturbated, while when they were with their spouses they had a more difficult time doing so. Now if genes really do play a part in this then the orgasmic experience in itself would be difficult during masturbation as well so this leaves a puzzling question. It could either be that clitoral orgasms are far easier to acquire for women or it could be that the lack of trust, sexual desire, low libido, and self-doubt are greater when this percentage of women are with their spouses or lovers which blocks them from having an orgasm. There is no clear cut answer as it has been said no woman is the same and the experiences are different for each individual female (Hooper 2005). Hooper (2005) is quick to point out that, "during masturbation there are less external factors present so the female is not as self-conscious and can relax." Obviously, this details that perhaps it is not so much the genes, which was initially thought as it is the confidence levels of the female. This has been pointed out numerous times in this research and it is beginning to become more concise that it is indeed one of the major issues in women being unable to have the more intense orgasmic experiences in a sexual relationship. This is why some researchers state that men need to be more attuned to their female partners needs and in the book by Cattrall and Levinson (2002) they write that the orgasmic experience for a woman is a form of art (this has been stated in the literature previously) and therefore, "every man can be an artist if they decide they want to be one." These two authors aren't discussing art in itself but what they are hinting at is the fact that men can strive wholeheartedly to helping the female communicate her sexual needs effectively and work to try and please her as much as they are pleased themselves in the sexual aspect of the relationship. Cattrall and Levinson (2002) state that the problem with women being unable to achieve orgasm has to do with misunderstandings and lack of communication between couples. Also, they both agree that attempting to have the woman reach a sexual plateau that arrives at an orgasmic stage is an art form in itself like no other because the woman's body is intricately designed and as has been said, far more complex than the males anatomy which is basically a penis that can be sexually stimulated with ease and therefore ejaculation through orgasm for the male partner is easily obtained due to the area needing stimulated highly visible and readily available for stimulation. The woman's body is like searching for puzzle pieces, and only after they all get interconnected correctly can the female be able to have a titillating sexual experience and pleasing orgasm. Also, these authors state that no orgasm should be elusive to the female because if partners practice with each other and trust each other enough then all forms of orgasm can be achieved by any female, regardless of what the experts have to say. Therefore there really is no mystery to all of the orgasm forms because they all do exist yet they are all different as well, but not unobtainable for any woman according to Cattrall and Levinson (2002). In their literary writing they do show that the G-orgasm does happen to be the most intense out of all of them and it is also never going to be obtainable unless a couple first learn how to experience the vaginal orgasm first. Once the male partner is able to have their female partner stimulated enough to experience a vaginal orgasm the next stage is the elusive but possible G-orgasm, which as many women have claimed is an experience that is like no other. However, these authors explicitly show that there are techniques and positions that must be utilized in order to achieve the greatest pleasure possible for a couple, especially the female. Because the most sensitive spots of the females' anatomy are hidden couples have to be able to get into certain positions to engage in extra foreplay to stimulate the woman's body thoroughly enough to begin the process of gaining a specific type of orgasm. These various descriptions; and illustrated techniques in Cattrall and Levinsons book (2002) work to demystify the vaginal and G-orgasmic experience. The key for the male partner to pay attention to is the way the woman responds to his movements, her breathing, and her words that she uses. This allows him to know where to go and what he should do next to bring complete sexual satisfaction for his female partner. Because it has been stated that trust among a couple is an extreme issue and of which is necessary in order for a female to be able to relax enough to experience an intense orgasm, then issues of infidelity and other worries often interfere with the intensity of the orgasmic experience for the woman and as has been said this often prevents reaching the higher levels of orgasmic experiences for the female. Baker details these various dilemmas in his book as he states that infidelity can be a troublesome area in gaining trust back from the female in order to have a satisfying sexual relationship (Baker 1996, p. 9). Nevertheless Baker seems to focus on the idea that women choose their lovers based on what type of child might be the outcome of their sexual encounter. He does not focus as heavily on sexual fulfillment for the woman as much as he discusses the reason for sexual encounters with couples in the first place as being to reproduce life instead of for simple pleasure. However he does go on to show how different orgasmic experiences that women have do have a part in how reproduction works in the relationship. For instance vaginal orgasms have better control over holding the ejaculated sperm deep within the vaginal canal and Baker states that women have these orgasms when they are in their more fertile stages, or so he hints at this idea. However, women engage in sexual intercourse for far more than simply to reproduce. What men fail to realize is that the majority of women enjoy the pleasing sensation that sex brings as well and don't necessarily have to be focused on trying to conceive during the sexual act, but rather are more focused on having an intense orgasm instead which many state to be the evoker of true love between a couple. Dodson (1996) states that orgasms can be an individual experience but they bring intense feelings of self worth, happiness, desire, and love to a couples relationship. This could be because of the level of intimacy it takes to achieve each different orgasmic experience, however this isn't very clear. The fact is there is no real reason for there to exist such mystery of the different female orgasms because as has been said they all can be achieved and therefore they all do exist without question. Dodson also says that women are going to have a far more difficult time trying to be sexually satisfied and having strong orgasms if they do not love themselves before loving someone else. She states that finding your own body pleasing and your personal appearance attractive is one of the main aspects of finding complete sexual satisfaction within an intimate partnership. If an individual does not find their own body attractive and can not relax without worrying about how their partner perceives them to look and smell then there is no way possible that they will ever succeed in achieving a life altering orgasmic experience such as the G-orgasm which has been discussed rather heavily in this literature. To conclude, this research has defined the ideas of what the differences are between these various female orgasms. It has shown that although many women do suffer with being unable to achieve an orgasm far more are able to have orgasms through clitoral stimulation and often without their partner present. This shows that some of the main problems are within women not feeling good about themselves and therefore not relaxing enough to be able to enjoy the sexual experience with their partner. There has also been evidence given that has shown the reason that the G-orgasm and vaginal orgasm have been in such a mysterious type of light is due to the fact that there are very few women that ever have these types of orgasms and this is due to the lack of libido they have, low self-esteem, trust in the relationship, and self-doubt about their relationship as well. The female orgasm is an experience that all women should have as it does indeed tighten the bonds of intimacy within the relationship and encourages love to blossom further. The fact is that although these orgasms might seem elusive to many women they are not impossible to have. Women must free their minds and therefore their bodies so that they can express the true inner sexual creature that lies there. If women can learn how to lose the negativity that they associate about sex then perhaps these other forms of female orgasm will become clearer and there will be less doubt about the existence and occurrence of them. Works Cited Baker, Robin. Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and other Bedroom Battles. London: Avalon Publishing Group (1996). Cattrall, Kim & Levinson, Mark. Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm. Ontario: Warner Books Publication (2002). Dodson, Betty. Sex for One. California: Three Rivers Press (1996). Dunas, Felice & Goldberg, Philip. "Ancient Secrets for a Life-Time of Happiness through Sensational Sex." California Journal of Oriental Medicine 9 (1998): 31. Hopkins, Tracy & Johnson, Kirk & Ridley, Teresa & Wolfe, Lee. "Explore Your Wild Side." Heart and Soul 27 (1998): 22. Hooper, Rowan. "Genes Blamed for Fickle Female Orgasm." New Scientist (2005). Oumano, Elena. "Female Frontier: The Art of Orgasm." Healthy and Natural Journal 7 (2000): 34-38. Pokras, Somraj & Talltrees, Jeffrey. Tantric G-Spot Orgasm & Female Ejaculation: Awakening her Sacred Gate To Supreme Bliss. Thawte Publications E-books (2005). Reuben. "Where is that G-Spot Anyway" Heart and Soul 7 (2000): 62. Rudolf, Allan. "The Changing Body." Journal of Positive Health 21 (1997): 63. Ridley, Matt. The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature. New York City: Penguin Books Publications (1995). Read More